Exhibit A
We are friends in a sleeping bag splitting the heat
We have one filthy pillow to share and your lips are in my hair
Someone upstairs has a rat that we laughed at
And people are drinking
And singing bad Scarborough Fair on a ukulele tear

Exhibit B
Well, we found an apartment
It???s not much to look at
A futon on a floor
Torn-off desktop for a door
All the decor's made of milk crates and duct tape
And if we have sex
They can hear us through the floor
But we don???t do that anymore

And I lay there wondering, what is the matter?
Is this a matter of worse or of better?
You took the blanket, so I took the bedsheet
But I would have held you if you'd only

Let me

Exhibit C
Look how quaint
And how quiet and private
Our paychecks have bought us a condo in town
It's the nicest flat around
You picked a mattress and had it delivered
And I walked upstairs
And the sight of it made my heart pound
And I wrapped my arms around me

And I stood there wondering, what is the matter?
Is this a matter of worse or of better?
You walked right past me and straightened the covers
But I would still love you if you wanted a lover
And you said
All the money in the world
Won't buy a bed so big and wide
To guarantee that you won't accidentally touch me
In the night

Exhibit D
Now we're both mostly paralyzed
Don't know how long we've been lying here in fear
Too afraid to even feel
I find my glasses and you turn the light out
Roll off on your side
Like you've rolled away for years
Holding back those king-size tears

And I still don't ask you, what is the matter?
Is this a matter of worse or of better?
You take the heart failure
I'll take the cancer
I've long stopped wondering why you don't answer

Exhibit E
You can certainly see how fulfilling a life
From the cost and size of stone of our final resting home
We got some nice ones right under a cherry tree
You and me lying the only way we know
Side by side and still and cold

And I finally ask you, what was the matter?
Was it a matter of worse or of better?
You stretch your arms out and finally face me
You say I would have told you

If you'd only asked me
If you'd only asked me
If you'd only asked me


Lyrics submitted by Starmongoose, edited by paedophageplayground

The Bed Song Lyrics as written by Amanda Palmer

Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

Lyrics powered by LyricFind

The Bed Song song meanings
Add Your Thoughts

11 Comments

sort form View by:
  • +2
    General Comment

    I'm surprised nobody's mentioned this, but Neil Gaiman says some interesting things about this song. journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/05/preamble-to-photograph.html

    vrykolakason December 01, 2012   Link
  • +2
    General Comment

    I think the line "Is this a matter of worse or of better" is a reference to the part in marriage vows that talks about being with each other for better or for worse. Amanda's trying to figure out how to categorize the communication breakdown between her partner and her- if it's for better, then that's just how the relationship is supposed to be and she shouldn't worry, and if it's for worse, then it's a rough spot that they should try to confront. She repeats it so much because she can't find a way to categorize the problem but wants to be able to have a reason to stay with her partner (the relationship is falling apart but neither of them will leave)

    ukuleledon February 23, 2013   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    the version i have goes: "singing van halen and slayer" - not sure if this song has been around for a while and she changed the lyrics for the official release or what, but there is definitely a version where she sings that.

    also, i always thought she was saying "someone upstairs has a RAT that we laughed at" - like, they could hear it skittering across the floor? and i also thought she was saying "ukulele tear" instead of dare... yeah, sorry to post nothing but corrections. this song is beautiful. the deterioration of a relationship, scene by scene. not sure why she calls them "exhibits" though, as if it were a trial.

    impon September 14, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    I think the second half of the first verse goes:

    "Someone upstairs has a rap that we laugh at And people are drinking and singing about Scarborough Fair On a ukulele dare"

    Such a beautiful song. Amanda manages to imbue such simple images and incidents with such power.

    textbook enigmaticon September 23, 2009   Link
  • 0
    My Opinion

    This song kills me - very painful listening to it. The arrangement, her voice, pace of the song all paint a melancholy life.. so sad.

    Its a warning to us all to live our lives and love our loved ones.

    overheardon December 01, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    i know i'm an idiot, but i like this song very much and i fancy i understand each "exhibit" as much as the disconnected/average listener can, except the repeated line "Is it a matter of worse or of better?" what is amanda getting at with that? my only guess at its meaning: she is wondering of her lover if he likes their current situation and noncommunication or hates it as much as she does.

    paedophageplaygroundon January 03, 2013   Link
  • 0
    My Interpretation

    On "Is this a matter of worse or of better?" -- To me, this has always felt like the narrator is unsure whether the lack of intimacy in the relationship is a sign of a good thing, and is just how long-term relationships mature; or if it's a sign of a bad thing, and maybe the partner wants out and just isn't saying so. I know I have had similar thoughts in relationships in the past: you become so comfortable with one another that you start taking each other for granted. I think if a relationship continues on long enough, this is somewhat inevitable if the people involved don't actively work against it. I like how this song reserves judgment, though, and merely reinforces the importance of communication. Still makes me break down every time.

    kschapon September 10, 2013   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    I love how it's portrayed like evidence."Exhibit a, exhibit b."

    The whole thing is absolutely brilliant. As they get older, their relationship with material things gets grander, but the relationship between the two people gets worse and worse because they aren't communicating. Also, as the beds get bigger and the space between them grows in both the literal and metaphysical sense. Boom.

    Amanda Palmer is a genius.

    Syntiffon March 20, 2014   Link
  • 0
    My Opinion

    It's pretty obvious that it's about a degrading relationship, but it's more important to ask why. She says "And I still don't ask you what is the matter " Basically saying there's no communication or trust between the two, or the trust has faded away. "And I finally ask you what was the matter... You say I would have told you if you'd only asked me" It becomes clear that if she asked him sooner, if she tried to communicate and get close to him before this all started, none of it would happen, and they wold die happily together. I'm obsessed with honesty and loyalty so this song means so much to me.

    khalid1502on May 20, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    "Is this a matter of worse or of better?" To me means she is wondering " is this how things are supposed to be?"... and if so are things going well or are they going badly?

    Often times in relationships it's hard to tell. In theory things seem to be going well for them- they are gaining material success and moving up the socioeconomic ladder ( they make a good "team" so to speak) quite possibly a " for better" situation. But on the other hand they are growing apart emotionally and that can be very painful "for worse".

    Songwitch123on March 22, 2017   Link

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

More Featured Meanings

Album art
Fast Car
Tracy Chapman
"Fast car" is kind of a continuation of Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run." It has all the clawing your way to a better life, but in this case the protagonist never makes it with her love; in fact she is dragged back down by him. There is still an amazing amount of hope and will in the lyrics; and the lyrics themselve rank and easy five. If only music was stronger it would be one of those great radio songs that you hear once a week 20 years after it was released. The imagery is almost tear-jerking ("City lights lay out before us", "Speeds so fast felt like I was drunk"), and the idea of starting from nothing and just driving and working and denigrating yourself for a chance at being just above poverty, then losing in the end is just painful and inspiring at the same time.
Album art
Son Şansın - Şarkı Sözleri
Hayalperest
This song seemingly tackles the methods of deception those who manipulate others use to get victims to follow their demands, as well as diverting attention away from important issues. They'll also use it as a means to convince people to hate or kill others by pretending acts of terrorism were committed by the enemy when the acts themselves were done by the masters of control to promote discrimination and hate. It also reinforces the idea that these manipulative forces operate in various locations, infiltrating everyday life without detection, and propagate any and everywhere. In general, it highlights the danger of hidden agendas, manipulation, and distraction, serving as a critique of those who exploit chaos and confusion to control and gain power, depicting a cautionary tale against falling into their traps. It encourages us to question the narratives presented to us and remain vigilant against manipulation in various parts of society.
Album art
Dreamwalker
Silent Planet
I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
Album art
Head > Heels
Ed Sheeran
“Head > Heels” is a track that aims to capture what it feels like to experience romance that exceeds expectations. Ed Sheeran dedicates his album outro to a lover who has blessed him with a unique experience that he seeks to describe through the song’s nuanced lyrics.
Album art
Page
Ed Sheeran
There aren’t many things that’ll hurt more than giving love a chance against your better judgement only to have your heart crushed yet again. Ed Sheeran tells such a story on “Page.” On this track, he is devastated to have lost his lover and even more saddened by the feeling that he may never move on from this.