So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
There's a bear inside your stomach
The cub's been kicking from within
He's loud, though without vocal chords
We'll put an end to him
We'll make all the right appointments
No one ever has to know
And then tomorrow I'll turn 21
We'll script another show
We'll play charades up in the Chelsea
Drink champagne although you shouldn't be
We'll be blind and dumb until we fall asleep
None of our friends will come
They dodge our calls
And they have for quite a while now
It's not a shock
You don't seem to mind and I just can't see how
We're too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
There's a bear inside your stomach
The cub's been kicking you for weeks
And if this isn't all a dream
Well then we'll cut him from beneath
Well we're not scared of making caves
Or finding food for him to eat
We're terrified of one another
And terrified of what that means
But we'll make only quick decisions
And you'll just keep my in the waiting room
And all the while I'll know we're fucked
And not getting unfucked soon
When we get home we're bigger strangers than we've ever been before
You sit in front of snowy television, suitcase on the floor
We're too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old, old, old at all
The cub's been kicking from within
He's loud, though without vocal chords
We'll put an end to him
We'll make all the right appointments
No one ever has to know
And then tomorrow I'll turn 21
We'll script another show
We'll play charades up in the Chelsea
Drink champagne although you shouldn't be
We'll be blind and dumb until we fall asleep
None of our friends will come
They dodge our calls
And they have for quite a while now
It's not a shock
You don't seem to mind and I just can't see how
We're too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
There's a bear inside your stomach
The cub's been kicking you for weeks
And if this isn't all a dream
Well then we'll cut him from beneath
Well we're not scared of making caves
Or finding food for him to eat
We're terrified of one another
And terrified of what that means
But we'll make only quick decisions
And you'll just keep my in the waiting room
And all the while I'll know we're fucked
And not getting unfucked soon
When we get home we're bigger strangers than we've ever been before
You sit in front of snowy television, suitcase on the floor
We're too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old at all
Just too old
We're not old, old, old, old at all
Lyrics submitted by Normaljeansxxx
Bear Lyrics as written by Peter Joseph Silberman
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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And, of course, the fact that she sees in him a fellow "idealist" and "dreamer" (terms commonly given to people with the INFP personality on the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)) portends that she'll always be left wondering if they would've been perfect together.
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"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
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"Some and now none of you"
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My interpretation...
Verse 1 contemplates aborting their unborn child. Who knows, maybe she's underage? In any case, this is all told in the future tense. It implies to me that this is a potential choice, not a done deal.
Verse 2, to me, resets the story back to the beginning, only this time the choice has been made. They will not have the abortion. They know it's probably wrong for the child to bring her into this world, but they do it anyway.
"Cut from beneath" I take to mean cutting the umbilical cord.
"Fucked and not getting unfucked" tells me they're having the baby, and now they're fucked. You will notice that verse 1 infers that an abortion would have solved the "we're fucked" syndrome.
I also assume that in the end, she and the child are leaving him. They're worlds apart now. He was the one who wanted the abortion. She was the one who wanted the child. There she is, suitcase packed, staring at a snowy television.
It's over. He knows it.
Maybe it's backstory about the caretaker, which led him to that hospital room in "Kittering", and he sees a young girl with bone cancer. He has an unpayable debt for his mistakes as a young man.
Further, maybe it is his daughter in that bed. She may not know it, but it might explain his duty and deeper connection to her.
Just some thoughts.
...ryan