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All of my words for sadness
Like eskimo snow on unmanned crosses all
Planted in threes in a field for living trees
I hum these prayers in secret
and sung them through speakers in rooms for people to hear it
Even when I'm wasted and numb
With the words for good wine on a philistine's tongue
And I'm under something black
and thicker than a sheet for ghosts
in the first beat of snow
That old cloud's you
On the crosses on the chests of dead soldiers in a field
and I'm still here
Bearing my watery fruits if fruits at all
And I'm still here
Barely understanding what truth that rarely calls
Lyrics submitted by autarchicflux
Track duration: 02:24
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Like eskimo snow..."
This is playing on the urban myth that there are hundreds of words for snow in Eskimo. He's written his sadness hundreds of ways. These are private feelings ("I hum these prayers in secret") that he plays for everyone ("and sung them through speakers in rooms for people to hear it"). It's difficult to find new ways to express these feelings, especially when beaten down by them ("Even when I'm wasted and numb, With the words for good wine on a philistine's tongue").
The words for good wine on a philistine's tongue being sort of like the opposite to the words for snow on an Eskimo's tongue.
and sung them through speakers in rooms for people to hear it
Even when I'm wasted and numb
With the words for good wine on a philistine's tongue"
remember, yoni used to sing in the choir of his father's temple. i think his father was a rabbi or a cantor or something.
the first verse i saw as just a reference to the idea that eskimos have so many different words for snow in it's slightly different forms. to anyone else it is just snow, but they've got it down to a system where subtle differences matter. yoni's got (what we see as) a million ways to say he feels like shit, but he knows the differences
"All of my words for sadness
Like eskimo snow on unmanned crosses all
Planted in threes in a field for living trees"
This I take as a sort of reference to the death of Christ on Good Friday, where he was on a cross in the middle of two robbers. Three crosses, or "crosses planted all in threes." The "for living trees" bit I take to mean that the crosses were "planted" there for the benefit of those trees, same as how Christ died for all the sinners of the world. His sadness or darkness is covering these crosses and what they mean like really thick, dense northern snow.
"I hum these prayers in secret
and sung them through speakers in rooms for people to hear it
Even when I'm wasted and numb
With the words for good wine on a philistine's tongue"
Seems like he doesn't have the confidence to speak about this newfound realization of some higher salvation, but then learns to sing it out, even as he strays more and more, "wasted and numb." I don't remember much about the Philistines, but I vaguely recall that they weren't the most holy of people. Maybe more reference to straying to substance, like wasted and numb?
"And I'm under something black
and thicker than a sheet for ghosts
in the first feet of snow
That old clouds yield
On the crosses on the chests of dead soldiers in a field"
His "sadness" is getting worse to the point where it's covering him like a thick sheet, or like he himself is being covered in said dense northern "Eskimo snow". The crosses on dead soldiers I think is another reference to some higher salvation out of sacrifice, like how soldiers sacrifice themselves to defend their countries and the citizens contained therein.
"And I'm still here
Bearing my watery fruits if fruits at all
And I'm still here
Barely understanding what truth that rarely calls"
A bit of backstory: when I was little, my mom used to always tell me to "look at the fruit it bears" when talking about life decisions. This is in relation to the Bible verse that says "The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, etc." When he says "Bearing my watery fruits, if fruits at all" it says to me that his life choices aren't bearing the best results, if they're good at all. And furthermore he still can't understand this higher truth. But the main thing that drives it home for me is this: "And I'm still here." Like, this guy fucked up. He doesn't know how to get back on the right path, but he's still trying, he's still "here."
Just given my personal history, this song almost made me cry. I've had some issues with my personal faith, and have once again become a Christian, albeit not in the way that organized churches define it. But something about this song speaks to me. Like, no matter how bad I've fucked up, I'm still here, bearing what "fruit" I can, and trying to understand it all.
And again, this is just my personal interpretation. Don't take my word as law.
I'd say that Yoni is an existentialist in most views.
This is just one of the best closers in the history of closers.
heebmagazine.com/yoni-wolf-of-why-the-_heeb_-interview/…
heebmagazine.com/yoni-wolf-of-why-the-_heeb_-interview/…
But yeah, its "or the first feet of snow that old, that old clouds yield"
Lyrics I hear:
"are hummed as prayers in secret, and sung through speakers in rooms for people to hear it"
and
"of the first feet of snow that old, that old clouds yield"
and
"then I'm, then I'm still here"