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Oh, thunder in my heart
These razors cutting sharp
And leaves me with an ever bleeding scar
So soft, so suddenly
So that I cannot breathe
I'm drawn into a circle painted black
Oh, I'm hanging high
Oh, won't you let me down?
Back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
And when it hurts the most
I'll push a little more
I'm back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
Like lightning in my heart
A kiss so burning hot
I'm hanging on a thread that's bound to drop
Like rain on open skies
Don't know the reason why
But I'll always choose the black in front of white
Oh, I'm hanging high
Oh, won't you let me down?
Back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
And when it hurts the most
I'll push a little more
I'm back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
Oh, I'm hanging high
Oh, won't you let me down?
Back where I started at
When it hurts the most
I'll push a little more
I'm back where I started at
These razors cutting sharp
And leaves me with an ever bleeding scar
So soft, so suddenly
So that I cannot breathe
I'm drawn into a circle painted black
Oh, I'm hanging high
Oh, won't you let me down?
Back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
And when it hurts the most
I'll push a little more
I'm back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
Like lightning in my heart
A kiss so burning hot
I'm hanging on a thread that's bound to drop
Like rain on open skies
Don't know the reason why
But I'll always choose the black in front of white
Oh, I'm hanging high
Oh, won't you let me down?
Back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
And when it hurts the most
I'll push a little more
I'm back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
Oh, I'm hanging high
Oh, won't you let me down?
Back where I started at
When it hurts the most
I'll push a little more
I'm back where I started at
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good song though.. love her
These comments seem to miss the physical pain as emotional pain motif. She doesn't mean to be in any physical pain, or cause herself harm, it's just an extended metaphor that comments on how she feels.
I think she uses the conceit because it's a direct way of saying how she feels (physical pain is fairly universal), while still being complex enough to cover multiple levels of feeling (physical pain also differs in degree and feel [stinging, pins and needles, sore, etc.]).
This is really apparent in that some lines use tangible objects, yet use intangible subjects (Line 1: Oh thunder in my heart, for example). In the example, thunder is not something that can even be felt, yet has a powerful, echoing, negative connotation, and hence substitutes for a tangible pain (Line 2: These razors cutting sharp)
She uses this style, therefore, to explain her emotional distress without having to explain the cause. Instead, the fact that this is a cyclic or redundant feeling, for her, takes precedence. Whatever personal gains she feels she has made, whether it be personally, professionally, or simply mentally, are clearly gone ("Back where I started at").
It may even be that she has simply regressed further than before, insinuated by "hanging on a thread that's bound to drop," as normally one would use string involving multiple threads. It's a nod to the generic "hanging by a thread" cliche. One would therefore infer that she has been hanging for a while, and that previous threads have already snapped or unraveled.
One again, she doesn't mean to imply SELF harm, however. Although the pain conceit is continued throughout by the metaphor of suicide ("I'm hanging high"), she immediately replies with a plea for help ("Won't you let me down"). She just doesn't understand how she never manages to free herself ("You know I'm a little lost").
She still takes responsibility for the way she feels, to an extent ("But I'll always choose the black in front of white"). All the previous meanings serve as a basis for this single thought. She feels trapped, in being hung, yet doesn't have the tools to get down. She tries, but continuously fails. In reality, she just feels unable to get herself away from the pain that she also repetitiously feels.
At the same time, its not completely gloomy because she still has hope ("and when it hurts the most/i'll push a little more"). So in the end, she leaves with both a plea for help and a promise to persevere.
I could get deeper, but that was way more than I intended.
"So soft, so suddenly
So that I can not breathe
I'm drawn into a circle painted black"
This is the sensation of passing out by being choked; your view fades to black.
"Oh I'm hanging high
Oh won't you let me down
Back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost"
This -could- refer to being saved after she's jumped off the chair; you're a little disoriented after being choked out.
"I'm hanging on a thread that's bound to drop"
Inevitably, when you hang yourself, someone will cut you down, be it a loved one, or the police.
"These razors cutting sharp
And leaves me with an ever bleeding scar"
"And when it hurts the most
I'll push a little more"
and I think when it comes to these lyrics:
"Like lightning in my heart
A kiss so burning hot"
it's just comparing cutting to "a kiss so burning hot", because to her it's a good thing, in a sense. or the same sensation.
"But I'll always choose the black in front of white"
she'll always just choose the bad, the "black" instead of working past it towards the good, the "white"
I don't know though!
it's like 'look, it's your fault i'm hopeful, so either let me down so i can revisit square one with someone else, or let me in so i can give up feeling so lost.'
also a reference to adoring someone you know is bad for you:
'don't know the reason why, but i'll always choose the black in front of white.'
as in:
'i don't know why i do this to myself when there are so many guys who are prepared to devote themselves to me.'
also:
'and when it hurts the most, i push a little more.' = 'and when you try and retreat, i only try harder to keep you here.'
and hence, you are back where you started at.
cutest song ever
I'm not entirely sure what the song is about, but I think it's about always choosing the wrong kind of guy and being hurt, but doing it again after the fact.