According to Plan

It's been only 3 weeks since a woman I love admitted her love for me. For me it was only the second time in my life I had felt this strongly for a woman. She admitted to me to have never had these feelings for anyone.

But both of us were in committed relationships. We were both up front to our partners. Only her relationship was solid, and she had a dear child with her boyfriend.

After a lot of love and pain she decided to stay with her boyfriend for the sake of her child, and because she couldn't bear hurting him. Her love for him was of a different kind, but not at all gone.

I love her for that, even though it pains me that I won't have the chance to be there for her, or to be with her, even though I feel that she is the one for me... I feel silly saying it in this forum, but I was ready to build a life with her and her child.

To respect her decision I am to keep my distance and not get in contact with her in any way. She is to do the same. One day later she posted this song to her FB feed and it is now the most devastating song in my life. I interpret it as her last message to me:

She hangs on to reason, though it keeps crumbling under the emotions she feels. Everyone around her is affected. (I know this pains her more than she can bear). There is no ready solution... the keys are gone.

It's the verse where she tells me: "In a perfect world, the perfect place is with you". This breaks my heart, because I'm quite certain she feels this way. And of course I feel the same.

"The truth is the world is without love". There is love in the world, it's just that reality has it that we cannot be together, and for that the world is not all that caring for us... it is without love for our particular situation.

All I can say is that after hearing it for the first time it makes me cry, and it still does every time I hear it.

I don't believe there is a song in the world more appropriate to my situation.

I love you M. Always.