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[Instrumental]
Lyrics submitted by LaMortDArthur
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it was that old, savage, yet half-forgotten ideal of perfect neutrality.
scubzer0 , you are correct about the sentiment of the lyrics, however she was not born a hermaphrodite. She is a pre-operative transexual, and is not intending to have an operation. The above lyric refers to her very strong desire, not necessarily to become a woman, but rather to have no gender at all.
What sad bewilderment this brought, physical clearness, alas, still so much abhorred:
Here looking at him she sees remnants of herself or what she could have been if only she didn't hate that idea so much.
This song is beautiful, thank you so much Anna-Varney Cantodea.
Anna-Varney Cantodea is also a hermit. She detests the presence of another human being. This is the reason why Sopor Aeternus does not do tours or live performances.
"I somewhat envy this naturally beautiful man, he never knew or encountered the hatred and shame that I bare."
She does wish to be this man, however, it is not because of his gender, it is because she feels as though she is heavily flawed and sees no beauty in herself. The notions of gender heavily conflict her as it is, on top of many other issues that she has caused by parental abuse, and a series of many illnesses that nearly caused her to go blind. This man is an image of perfection to her because he is physically beautiful and he doesn't know firsthand about depression, abuse, illness, self-hatred, and gender conflicts because the world that he lives in is a much brighter world than Anna's. His life took a direction in which he's able to enjoy life. She believes that God was kind to this man in gracing him with this joie de vivre and is sickened by the thought that she believes that she never had the same chance to enjoy life and the company of other people.
what i get from this song is Anna is singing about a man she loves, yet can not be with him for some reason or another. well it says it right in there "And I... I only hate men"
what is the real meaning?