This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Woke up next to the king
Got up, gonna fix me some things
And it makes me sick how I can't trust him
No I can't trust him
Said the bottom of his belly
That's where he would keep me
Christ Jesus
As I'm floating
And you get a brick and you drop it down on me
Christ Jesus
Have you seen us
Down on our hands and knees
And tell us what's the reason
Like a hawk that's hung in the sky
A hard-on when I die
And you passed away
And that horizon never came
No, it never came
It's the time of the week no one sees but me
Christ Jesus
As I'm drowning
And I struggle to breathe
It's your face I don't see
Christ Jesus
Please don't leave us
If in peace you'll keep us
Well then you should have believed us
Please let me inside
And hear out my desire
'Cause soon I may die
Yes one day I will die
I'll get eaten by the rust
You cremate and breathe the dust
And I'll weaken your lungs
And I'll bite off your tongue
Christ Jesus
Please don't leave us
Down on our hands and our knees
Or I'll never believe, no
Christ Jesus
As I'm drowning
And I struggle to breathe
It's your face I don't see
Christ Jesus
Got up, gonna fix me some things
And it makes me sick how I can't trust him
No I can't trust him
Said the bottom of his belly
That's where he would keep me
Christ Jesus
As I'm floating
And you get a brick and you drop it down on me
Christ Jesus
Have you seen us
Down on our hands and knees
And tell us what's the reason
Like a hawk that's hung in the sky
A hard-on when I die
And you passed away
And that horizon never came
No, it never came
It's the time of the week no one sees but me
Christ Jesus
As I'm drowning
And I struggle to breathe
It's your face I don't see
Christ Jesus
Please don't leave us
If in peace you'll keep us
Well then you should have believed us
Please let me inside
And hear out my desire
'Cause soon I may die
Yes one day I will die
I'll get eaten by the rust
You cremate and breathe the dust
And I'll weaken your lungs
And I'll bite off your tongue
Christ Jesus
Please don't leave us
Down on our hands and our knees
Or I'll never believe, no
Christ Jesus
As I'm drowning
And I struggle to breathe
It's your face I don't see
Christ Jesus
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wow, this song is absolutely amazing.
So.. my thinking is that the artist has lost his belief in Jesus and he feels anger and bitterness that at one point he put his faith in Jesus and felt that he was hung out to dry.
He talks about Jesus keeping him down, or having a negative impact on him. "Christ Jesus, as I'm floating. And you get a brick and you drop it down on me"
"a hear that's hung in the sky; a hard on when I die; And you passed away and that horizon never came, no it never came" - seems like the irony of devoting your life to following Jesus just to be left alone and abandoned. he's "hung in the sky". "A hard on when I die" seems like a cruel irony that his passion (metaphorically in the form of an erection) has no purpose and will be unfulfilled so it was pointless and just like a tease, or some sort of sick joke.
"And you passed away and that horizon never came, No, it never came" seems like its referring to Jesus' ascension into Heaven, when he said that he would return:
Acts 1:9-11, "Now when He had spoken these things, while they watched, He was taken up, and a cloud received Him out of their sight. And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as He went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel, who also said, "Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven? This same Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will so come in like manner as you saw Him go into heaven."
but after waiting for Jesus to return, the singer feels like he never did and is therefore abandoned by Christ. And not only was he abandoned, but by being deceived and trusting in Jesus, he feels like he has actually been held back because of the lie. "I'll weaken your lungs", like Jesus knew what he was doing but chose to do it out of spite, which is probably making an emotional point by exaggerating his feelings to some extent.
There is some hope when he says, "Please let me inside, hear out my desire" cause even though he feels abandoned, he knows he will die and he fears death, so he still wants Jesus to be truthful for hope. And when coming back to the hope out of desperation and realizing that again he's been tricked, he is extremely angry, "And I'll kick in your lungs and I'll bite off your tongue"
He desperately wants Jesus' to come back and fulfill his word for some kind of hope, but can't see accept this to be true. "Christ Jesus, please don't leave us; Down on our hands and our knees, oh I'll never believe, no; Christ Jesus, as I'm drowning; I struggle to breathe, it's your face I don't see; Christ Jesus"
wow.. this song is amazing.. unbelievable lyrics. When I first heard it, I listened to it over and over maybe 30 times in the next 48 hours. wowwwwwwwww. Also, I need to learn the piano
I have not heard a version with piano in it. If you did where did you hear it id love to hear it.
i think it's 'you cremate and breathe the dust'
it's also "I'll weaken your lungs" Best song on the album.