It sounds to me like he had sex.
(maybe for the first time)
and being that he is religous
he is sorry to god that he had sex.
but at the same time, hes like
"i just had sex! yeaahhhh!"

The idea that Max regrets having sex is laughable, i.e. "Eat, sleep, FUCK, and flee - in four words, that's me", "When I watch you, I wanna do you...", "That blissful night I knelt between your legs..."

But here's my [lengthy] interpretation, with some lyrical corrections:

Failure is angular. It isn't circle-shaped
And every fucked mistake's unmade
When I abandoned her
And with my wand-like sex,
I cast a horried hex
I laid a curse on her, a curse on her
Another wasted verse on her, gave birth to her"

He's mistreating a girl he's dating (or fucking), and is fully aware of the power he has over her.

"Oh God, forgive me Moses, Jesus, Allah
I have made such an awful regret of today
I have made such an awesome regret"

He regrets his behavior. Fairly self-explanatory.

"I could be more than this
With all the time I have,
I am insult to the dead
You should be over this
The infidelities are on account of me
And so I cheat on you, I beat on you with words
and with actions
I will never tell the truth, in debt, aloof
Without you I'm a fraction."

He's wasting his life away, rather than taking advantage of the time he has. He's cheated on this girl and walks all over her, because he's got a whole bunch of inner turmoil and doesn't know how to deal with it. And even though he's being a dick to her, he secretly needs her as badly as she needs him.

Oh God,
I have made such an awful regret of today
I have made such an awesome regret
Too bad this won't come easy where I stay
Where I lay in my bed of needles, where I play
Like a bad child on a baby's birthday"

(I don't hear the "Too bad this won't come easy" part in the song, but I don't have the lyrics in front of me so I'll assume they're in the CD sleeve)
Again, he regrets his behavior, and he's being self-destructive ("in my bed of needles") and selfish ("I'm a bad child on a baby's birthday").

"I'll take a permanent vacation
I've got two months to live
And all the mental masturbation
Is just too much to give
So I'll go down to where the river
Flows into the sea
And you can bathe me in your body fluids
You can rescue me"

This verse I haven't entirely deciphered, so this is kind of a wild guess. It sounds like he wants to get away from all this crap and start living life to the fullest, or whatever. The "mental masturbation" and "bathe me in your body fluids" parts are what throw me off - there seems to be some sexual undertone, although the body fluids could also be... gross things, so maybe he realizes he needs to be humbled before he can be rescued. As Fight Club so eloquently states, "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."

Of course, I could totally be off-base with this, but it makes sense in my head. Haha.

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The idea that Max regrets having sex is laughable, i.e. "Eat, sleep, FUCK, and flee - in four words, that's me", "When I watch you, I wanna do you...", "That blissful night I knelt between your legs..."

But here's my [lengthy] interpretation, with some lyrical corrections:

Failure is angular. It isn't circle-shaped
And every fucked mistake's unmade
When I abandoned her
And with my wand-like sex,
I cast a horried hex
I laid a curse on her, a curse on her
Another wasted verse on her, gave birth to her"

He's mistreating a girl he's dating (or fucking), and is fully aware of the power he has over her.

"Oh God, forgive me Moses, Jesus, Allah
I have made such an awful regret of today
I have made such an awesome regret"

He regrets his behavior. Fairly self-explanatory.

"I could be more than this
With all the time I have,
I am insult to the dead
You should be over this
The infidelities are on account of me
And so I cheat on you, I beat on you with words
and with actions
I will never tell the truth, in debt, aloof
Without you I'm a fraction."

He's wasting his life away, rather than taking advantage of the time he has. He's cheated on this girl and walks all over her, because he's got a whole bunch of inner turmoil and doesn't know how to deal with it. And even though he's being a dick to her, he secretly needs her as badly as she needs him.

Oh God,
I have made such an awful regret of today
I have made such an awesome regret
Too bad this won't come easy where I stay
Where I lay in my bed of needles, where I play
Like a bad child on a baby's birthday"

(I don't hear the "Too bad this won't come easy" part in the song, but I don't have the lyrics in front of me so I'll assume they're in the CD sleeve)
Again, he regrets his behavior, and he's being self-destructive ("in my bed of needles") and selfish ("I'm a bad child on a baby's birthday").

"I'll take a permanent vacation
I've got two months to live
And all the mental masturbation
Is just too much to give
So I'll go down to where the river
Flows into the sea
And you can bathe me in your body fluids
You can rescue me"

This verse I haven't entirely deciphered, so this is kind of a wild guess. It sounds like he wants to get away from all this crap and start living life to the fullest, or whatever. The "mental masturbation" and "bathe me in your body fluids" parts are what throw me off - there seems to be some sexual undertone, although the body fluids could also be... gross things, so maybe he realizes he needs to be humbled before he can be rescued. As Fight Club so eloquently states, "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."

Of course, I could totally be off-base with this, but it makes sense in my head. Haha.

yeah, i think uhmarican kitsch is mostly right. like, he's treating someone badly and he knows it and regrets it, and it's also how he wastes away his days instead of taking advantage of his time being alive, and insult to the dead in the sense that like.. ehhh, they're dead and he's alive and he's not making the most of his time. i dunno.

maybe he mistreated this girl when someone close to him/her died?

This is an awsome song...my favorite part: "all the mental masterbation" I love the way he sings it.

I'm pretty sure this song is about him making his girlfriend get an abortion. Think about it.

this is my favorite song on IDITG, I think it's John Nolan's voice in the background but I'm not sure. I agree with ace, but the song is sorta broad, I think it can fit many different situations.

Do you guys ilegally download the album or do you just not understand reading? The lyrics are all in the booklet, and you guys still have tons of mistakes.
But yeah, halfmike - It doesn't say who the guest is in this song, but there's gotta be someone. The background singer doesn't sound like anyone in the band.

I've done a little bit of thinking on the mental masturbation line, and I think it has something to do with Max trying to trick himself into thinking he's okay (though he realizes that it's not as good as the real thing) and it just gets overwhelming.

The abortion theory is a possibility, but I'm still sticking with my interpretation. Besides:

The infidelities are on account of me
And so I cheat on you, I beat on you with words
and with actions
I will never tell the truth, in debt, aloof
Without you I'm a fraction

I'm pretty sure at least THAT part has nothing to do with abortion... it's pretty straightforward.

I think he was in a really bad relationship where he cheated and was verbally abusive and didn't love his girlfriend. But, then she got pregnant and got an abortion because either she knew how bad he was to her and didn't want a child with him or he told her that he didn't want it. Idk, that is basically what I get from reading&listening to the song. But I could be completely wrong[and prob am] and it's about something totally deeper. Idk watevs [:

i think he's just saying he's just a complete waste of life, because he's not making the most out of anything and he's making all these horrid mistakes and whatnot. and he feels bad because all these people who would probably be out contributing to the world and such are dead, while he's alive and not doing anything.

i'd have to agree with allchokedup. certain lines, statements, and images in this song always stick out to me, and the line that contains the title of the song is one of them. i can't escape that line, "with all the time i have, i am insult to the dead". another thing that always comes to the forefront of my mind is that, for some reason, when i hear the line "like a bad child on a baby's birthday" i imagine it being christmas [the baby being jesus, and therefore his birthday being christmas]. so i think his regret in having done nothing with his life [at least, that's what he thinks.. i beg to differ] is rooted in something more spiritual. that maybe he thinks he was given the chance to do something great and he's wasted that opportunity.

of course, i gathered this meaning from the two lines i mentioned and from a general sense of the song. so i'm definitely open to being corrected.

oh, and i think the "mental masturbation" line is just an expression he's using to convey a feeling of futility. maybe he's saying that he's tried to live up to his potential and tried to do great things but he feels that it never worked out; that his efforts were all futile.

When I abandoned her
And with my wand-like sex
I cast a horried hex

I laid a curse on her, a curse on her



i could be wrong but sounds like hes having thoughts about leaving a girl because shes pregnant or that he doesnt want a child.

it could also be about molley connely like some of his previous work

well considering he said annie hall is his favorite movie, i would think "metal masterbation" is most definitely a reference :)