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He wants to die in a lake in Geneva
The mountains can cover the shape of his nose
He wants to die where nobody can see him
But the beauty of his death will carry on so
I don't believe him
He greets me with kisses when good days deceive him
And sometimes we're scorned and sometimes I believe him
And sometimes I'm convinced, my friends think I'm crazy
Get scared and call him but he's usually hazy
At one in the morning, day is not ended
By two he is scared that sleep is no friend
And by four he will drink but he cannot feel it
Sleep will not come because sleep does not will it
And I don't believe him, morning is mocking me
I?ll wander the streets, avoiding them eats
?Til the ring on my finger slips to the ground
A gift to the gutter, a gift to the city
The veins of which have broken me down
And I don't believe him, morning is mocking me
Oh, the Gods that he believes never fail to amaze me
He believes in the love of his God of all things
But I find him wrapped up in all manner of sins
The drugs that deceive him and the girls that believe him
I can't control you, I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill
I can't control you, I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill
And since last that we parted
Last that I saw him down by a river
Silent and hardened
Morning was mocking us, blood hit the sky
I was just happy, my manic and I
He couldn't see me, the sun was in his eyes
And birds were singing to calm us down
And birds were singing to calm us down
And I'm sorry young man, I cannot be your friend
I don't believe in a fairytale end
I don't keep my head up all of the time
I find it dull when my heart meets my mind
And I hardly know you, I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that we're ill
I hardly know you, I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that I'm ill
And the Gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me
The Gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me
My nihilist, my happy man, my manic and I
Have no plans to move on
But birds are singing to calm us down
And birds are singing to calm us down
Lyrics submitted by junkiesong
Track duration: 03:56
"My Manic and I" as written by Laura Beatrice Marling
Lyrics © CHRYSALIS MUSIC GROUP
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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"He wants to die in a lake in Geneva, the mountains can cover the shape of his nose. He wants to die where nobody can see him, the beauty of his death will carry on so I don't believe him".
She starts off by describing a character who's depressed and controversial referring to a place that is known for assisting suicide. He tests limits and he lies and is overdramatic. I think that is what she means by "the mountains can cover the shape of his nose . . . and I don't believe him". I think this is a reference to Pinocchio, saying that he lies and she doesn't believe his cries for help or his suicidal thoughts because she believes he's lying for her attention.
She then goes on in the next verse to explain this character further. He's very hot and cold, and she doesn't seem to know who she's going to get, whether he will be loving or ignorant, possibly abusive towards her. This character seems very unstable. Even though she doesn't believe his cries for attention, she still ends up calling him or going over to be with him. In the line "sometimes I'm convinced my friends think I'm crazy", it's almost as if she knows this guy is just vying for her attention and probably treating her poorly, and realizing that it's not okay. It may not even be that she cares what there comes a theme throughout the song in her recognizing that these events aren't healthy or normal and that line is the first to allude to this.
The next line goes on to explain that he's an insomniac, and that she tends to stay with him. The "morning is mocking me" line I think can either mean that she too is an insomniac waiting up for him or worrying about him always makes a fool of her because he just does all of these things for attention.
"I'll wander the streets, avoiding them eats until the ring on my finger slips to the ground" alludes to anxiety or anorexia, and it's the first recognition that she may be just as unhealthy as he is wandering around in the middle of the night.
"Oh the gods that he believes never fail to amaze me" can either be sarcastic or her genuinely being interested in his thoughts on religion and the universe, etc, and being entranced by him.
But then right away she describes this guy's flaws or hypocrisy, or fickle nature again in believing in God or a god, but acting entirely differently in drowning himself out in drugs and going with other women. She begins to justify his abuse and lies and cheating as an illness she can't control, so she accepts it.
She begins to describe her last encounter or maybe their break up, setting the scene as a scenario where it's dawn and they had been out all night, and she addresses him directly saying "I'm sorry young man I cannot be your friend, I don't believe in a fairytale end. I don't keep my head up all of the time, I find it dull when my heart meets my mind" admitting that he is too emotional and fickle for her logical nature.
Then she continues addressing him in the story admitting to herself that they are both ill, and her believing him and falling for his lies and accepting his abuse is really unhealthy for her and that she doesn't seem to know who he is because he's so unstable. "the gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me" is almost making a point of her coming to the realization that he no longer really thrills her and is just always disappointed. Or it could represent her faith in him and his beliefs.
And after this encounter she seems to address that this entire situation is a cycle. in the line "My nihilist, my happy man, my manic and I have no plans to move on" it seems like they both know they're toxic for each other but stay with the other any way. Or at the very least he is toxic for her but yet she doesn't want to move on or leave him so she continues to go through it.
On a side note, I think this song might be about Charlie Fink. She dated him for a really long time, and if she's referring in the last line to this abusive cycle she feels trapped in, it would make sense for it to be about him. Especially in her references to lakes and rivers, etc. I think Markus Mumford and Laura Marking split in 2011 so it may be a bit too premature for the song to be about him. Maybe, but who knows.
These words reflect my battle with being bipolar and accurately describe the feelings and thoughts I have on a daily basis. "My manic and I" is an appropriate
title for this struggle.
People with depression often refer to the depression as "the beast" within.
"He wants to die in a lake in Geneva, the mountains can cover the shape of his nose.
He wants to die where nobody can see him but the beauty of his death
will carry on so I don't believe him."
You see, my friend was very hypocritical, sort of like the "he wants to die where nobody can see him but the beauty of his death will cary on so" part, plus my friend really does have a big nose..
"He greets me with kisses when good days deceive him and sometimes with scorn and sometimes I believe him.
And sometimes I'm convinced my friends think I am crazy"
He's very moody, and my other friends think I'm crazy for sticking up to him :(
"Oh the gods that he believes never fail to amaze me.
He believes in the love of his god of all things, but I find him wrapped up in all manner of sins.
The drugs that deceive him and the girls that believe him.
I can't control you I don't know you well, these are the reasons I think that you're ill."
He's very.. religious.. he's a church pianist and he tweets all day long about how Jesus loves him and all those things, But he's also addicted to sex and he's pretty much a player, he often uses poppers (which can be considered as drugs, right?) and yeah..
"And since last that we parted last that I saw him down by a river silent and hardened, morning was mocking us. Blood hit the sky.
I was just happy, my manic and I
He couldn't see me the sun was in his eyes and birds were singing to calm us down. And birds were singing to calm us down.
And I'm sorry young man, I cannot be your friend. I don't believe in a fairytale end. I dont keep my head up all of the time."
The last time we met was the day when all hell broke loose for me, I think of "he couldn't see me, the sun was in his eyes" as the flame in his eyes, burning with hatred towards me and the birds were our friends telling us to calm down :(
Idk, that's just my interpretation.. either way I love this song :)
-"I ran away in floods of shame, I'll never tell how close I came." -- I always interpreted this as how close he came to suicide...though that could be off. See Marling's lines on wanting to die where no one could see.
-"As I crossed the Holland road, you went left and I went right" Lover's Eyes -- See Marling's lines about "wandering streets." This also speaks to the disconnect and separation between the two. "Since we last parted..."
-"Roll out your questions keep them down Let the water lead us home, And I was sorry for what I'd done," Lover's eyes -- "I saw him down by a river," Marling. Mumford seems to be acknowledging her questions/skepticism about religion but tells her to 'keep them down' while the 'waters lead [them] home.' Home = them back together. She does mention in the end that she is "ill" too for still loving him.
Seems like a pretty tumultuous relationship regardless of whether you look at My Manic and I, Lover's Eyes, OR Home....
"The mountains cover the shape of his nose..." -- Marcus does, admittedly, have a large nose. A lovely nose, but a large one nonetheless.
"...the drugs that deceive him, the girls that believe him..." and, "By four he will drink but he cannot feel it" -- Look at the newly written songs by Mumford "Lover's eyes." SOO many lines from it could be direct commentary on these lines from My Manic and I. For example, "I feel numb, beneath your tongue, beneath the curse of these lovers eyes," feeling numb could be alluding to alcohol or drug abuse. "He cannot feel it," = numb. Further, "There is no drink or drug I've tried to rid the curse of these lover's eyes," -- Pretty obvious reference to the old drinking/drugging to forget the ghosts of a past love mentality.
The chorus of Lover's Eyes goes, "Do not ask the price I pay, I must live with my quiet rage. Tame the ghosts in my head that run wild and wish me dead. Should you shake my ash to the wind, Lord forget all of my sins, and let me die where I lie beneath the curse of these lovers eyes." Oh the many connections! Reference to "quiet rage" and "ghosts in my head" are certainly indicative of some kind of inner turmoil that is driving him mad. There have been several mentions of bipolar on here and, speaking from experience, depression (and perhaps bipolar) IS quiet rage. He also seems to be resigning to death...making plans for when he will die, which could connect to the "he wants to die" line in Marling's song. ALSO there is a reference to the Lord and to sin. Direct relation to the lines about "his god" and the "gods" that Marling seems to be so skeptical of.
"Since last time I saw him...silent and hardened" -- "quiet rage"/he is silent, or quiet at least, and resigned to dying...the song communicates a hardened man, resigned to the fate of an untimely death.
I apologize for pontificating at such length, I just am in love with both Marling and Mumford as artists so whenever I see connections and similarities between them, I go a little over board. Like I said, there are comments all the way back to 2008 on here, so who knows if she wrote this about Marcus but Lover's Eyes is VERY recent by Mumford and is perhaps a song to Laura employing some of her own techniques, ideas, and themes...
My interpretation of the song is that the singer, Laura if it's about herself, or whoever the person she has in mind is, has a multi personality disorder. I think that speaks for itself. But rather it being about multiple people, I think she is singing about the multiple personalities.
"And since last that we parted
Since last that i saw him down by a river
Silent and hardened
Morning was mocking us, blood hit the sky
I was just happy, my manic and I
He couldn’t see me; the sun was in his eyes
And birds were singing to calm us down
And birds were singing to calm us down"
I think here 'him' refers to one of the personalities, the one that was happy. And that day was one of the days where 'he' reigned alone. But it was also the last day, because 'me/I', aka the depressed one, was watching closely ready to bring her (as a whole) down again.
And I don't know if the drugs refer to anti-depressants, strictly medicinal drugs, or not, but I think the birds singing represent them, they calm them (all of the personalities) down.
Also, the way she shows her multiple personalities is, first she's blaming 'him' (the happy one), then she's missing him and recalling how happy she was, and then, in the end, she comes to the realization that she wants to be hurt. She's a masochist and she loves it that way. The birds will calm her down anyway.
This is my interpretation, perhaps because this is what I want to read into them right now. But I'm convinced
The lines about ''gods'' is typical - Laura seems to be very sceptical about religion. I think she says ''gods'' and ''his god'' to say that it's really his thing and not hers.
I still don't get
''I wander the streets, avoiding them eats
Till ring on my finger slips to the ground
A gift to the gutter, a gift to the city
The veins of which have broken me down''
and
''"And since last that we parted
Since last that i saw him down by a river
Silent and hardened
Morning was mocking us, blood hit the sky
I was just happy, my manic and I
He couldn�t see me; the sun was in his eyes
And birds were singing to calm us down"