Lyrics for Tournament of Hearts as interpreted by Luke Hailey

Tournament of Hearts Lyrics
Now the lounge is full of farmers
for the 7:30 draw
The teammates all left before they had to buy a round
When they pull the 50/50, and I've lost again I'll go
Maybe have one more brown one for the snowy road
All the championship banners going yellow on the wall
And my name when it gets closer to last call

So Elvira brings my bottle
Hold it up and let it bend
Figures of two rinks battling an extra end
And i'm peeling off the label
As they peel a corner guard
Dance down the sheet to the tune of "Hurry, Hurry Hard"
And my popcorn squeaks with the question
Wonders why I'm not at home
Where you wait beside a silent telephone
Doodle circles within circles all alone
Have to stop myself from climbing
On the table full of empties to yell:

"Why, why can't I draw right up to what I want to say?"
"Why can't I ever stop where I want to stay?"
I slide right through the day
Always throwing hack weight
Right off, no never never ever ever
Right off, no never never ever never
Right off, no never never never ever
Right off, no never ever never ever

Now the senior bonspiel winners
Circa 1963
Are all staring, glaring dis-approvingly
From their frame in that old photograph
And I know you're out their waiting
For an answer I can't give you
so tell me,

"Why, Why can't I draw right up to what I want to say?"
"Why can't I ever stop when I want to stay?"
We roll right through our years
We rip right through our months
We slide through our days
And always throwing hack weight
Right off, no never never ever ever
Right off, no never never ever never
Right off, no never ever never ever
Right off

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Luke Hailey
08-17-2007

Rated 0 
The Tournament of Hearts is the annual Canadian women's curling championship.

Most of the song is curling terminology/references: "extra end", "peel a corner guard", "sheet", "hack weight", "bonspiel", etc. Much of the rest uses curling metaphors to question a relationship and/or one's life:

Why can't I draw right up to what I want to say?
Why can't I ever stop when I want to stay?
We roll right through our years
We drift right through our months
We slide through our days
And always throwing hack weight

The "Right off, no never ever" things is the skip yelling at the sweepers to stop sweeping

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virtutethecat
08-19-2007

Rated 0 
Thanks Luke. That's cool of you to explain that stuff. I was thinking it was like the card game Hearts, which I didn't think made any sense at all. This explains a lot.

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neuralstatic
10-09-2007

Rated 0 
dance down the sheet to the tune of hurry hurry hard...
must be the sweepers rushing to keep ahead of the stone, avoiding previous throws, sweeping hard, trying to save momentum.

player dawdling in the lounge, not wanting to face relationship issues. i can almost see those old banners & pictures, must be from bowling alley cafeterias here.

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bogey5
02-07-2008

Rated 0 
All Weakterthans fans who have never watched or who know little or nothing of curling should watch 30 minutes of so of it (find it on the Canadian Broadcast Network).

Without some cursory knowledge of curling, you probably won't ever appreciate how good this sonf is

"hurry, hurry. hard" are commands the skip gives to the sweepers...too give the stone more weight (speed) by reducing the co-effcient of friction of the ice.

It's a "tune" because these commands are given verbally. ..

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bogey5
02-07-2008

Rated 0 
All Weakterthans fans who have never watched or who know little or nothing of curling should watch 30 minutes of so of it (find it on the Canadian Broadcast Network).

Without some cursory knowledge of curling, you probably won't ever appreciate how good this sonf is

"hurry, hurry. hard" are commands the skip gives to the sweepers...too give the stone more weight (speed) by reducing the co-effcient of friction of the ice.

It's a "tune" because these commands are given verbally. ..

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EchoPark
03-08-2008

Rated 0 
Gotta love the fact that they used the Canadian sport of curling to symbolise a failed relationship. Props for nationalistic symbolism

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andbooth
11-08-2008

Rated 0 
CBC even used this song during broadcasting of the tournament. I think the band is actually in a curling club in MB.

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Jillian04
02-11-2009

Rated 0 
their. T-H-E-R-E.

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parmeisan
03-27-2009

Rated 0 
I am deeply impressed with this song. I love the double meanings. I guess curling must be much more in our (Canadian) culture than elsewhere because I just can't imagine not knowing what the phrase "hurry, hurry hard" means! It does make them brave to be singing a song that only a certain culture will really understand.

One line that hasn't been commented on: "Doodle circles within circles all alone"

Above the obvious meaning that he's doodling, I think the circles within circles is also a reference to the circles on the rink.

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MustardCastle
11-22-2009

Rated 0 
This band kind of reminds me of the tragically hip
just because of the depth of the stories in their songs

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