Near To You

I'm not sure what to think of this song. Some of the words chosen kind of make me question whether she really is even getting over the old guy. This can be a weakness - she's trying to express an easy-to-relate to feeling but she's doing an imperfect job of it. Some examples I use:

Verse 1: "He and I had something, BEAUTIFUL..." Verse 2: "You and I, have something, DIFFERENT..." Of all the words she could have chosen, she said "different." Granted, after beautiful", few adjectives would make it sound as good as the first, but "different"?! "Being with him was beautiful. You and I, are, uh, different..." Unless directly comparing it to something bad, "different" is never a good word...It's often a euphemism, or a substitute for when a fitting positive adjective can't be found.

Point 2: Verse two "...and I’m ENJOYING IT." Not sure that’s a good way to put it in any right (don't get me wrong, Alison Sudol is a great lyricist, probably better than I'll ever be, but I think this line doesn't quite work). Enjoying makes it sound so casual and detached.

Point 3: When describing the old guy, she talks about how "she loved him so," how it was "beautiful" as seen above. When describing the new guy, it’s all "I'm enjoying it, it's different, you're wonderful." The old guy seems like "love," the new guy seems like "a relationship." With the old guy, there was naturally something there and she cut it off to save herself. The new guy seems like the kind of guy girls would want to go out with, a Mr. perfect if you will, and therefore is seen as a good replacement. If the girl truly feels it with the new guy and is merely healing from the wounds of the other guy (as opposed to still loving him and forcing a new relationship), I don't think it should seem as though the new relationship is forced.

Rebuttal point: One can say that the bridge, about how she declares, "I only know that I belong Where you are" that it is a serious and deep declaration of affection for the new guy. While the sincerity can be debated, I will give them that the line is at least consistent with that idea.

Overall, I am not as impressed with the lyrics of this song as I am with most other AFF songs, at least if the song is simply about the girl moving on but still being wounded, as stated in the posts above. However, I have an alternate hypothesis that, if true, would change everything...

Ok, so, as I said above, I feel this song does an imperfect job of expressing the commonly held views of the song as said above. However, that is assuming that the views of previous posters are what the song is really about (I am not criticizing the posts above; their views make perfect sense and honestly are more likely to be right than what I'm about to propose, but hear me out).

I propose that the song may actually be more complex than we give it credit for. I gave reasons above why it doesn't do a good job of convincing us the girl is sincere. Maybe she's not supposed to be...

Maybe, we are supposed to hear the song and think, "I don't think the girl is sincere about getting over the other guy." Maybe the song is directed not at the new guy but at herself.

Just as the motif of somebody getting over a past love with a new one is common in both life and art, so is another; the theme of people avoiding true love because they've been hurt by that person, and their futile attempts to move on with someone else, somebody "on the rebound" if you will. Maybe she talks about how much she loved the other guy not to give context of how things were, but rather as a hint that this is still how she feels. This would explain why the new guy is complemented often yet looked upon somewhat coldly. Her declarations of "I belong where you are" could very well be her way of demanding of herself "He's good, you should love him!"

After all, the old guy was a dick, and the new guy is probably sweet, sensitive, loving, whatever it is she is looking for. She left the old guy because he rejected her, and wants to convince herself she is improving and will eventually be happy with the new guy.

In short, maybe it’s supposed to sound phony. That’s not to say that she isn't convinced that she is sincere, but people can be quite good at fooling themselves and convincing themselves they feel differently than they do (although this tends to eventually unfold, both in life and in art...believe me I've been there). If this were a movie, we might expect the new guy to eventually question her, and when she says “we have something different” and “I’m enjoying it” he would tell her that he loves her but that she needs to ask herself if its him she really loves.

The fact that the words chosen do a poor job of convincing me the girl is sincere would therefore be a strength in this case; she's SUPPOSED to be insincere. If that’s the case, my opinion of this song would change from me finding it “superficial” and “hard to take seriously” to “excellent,” “clever,” and “in a whole ‘nother realm.” If that is the case, BRAVO!

Note: I use the term love” loosely. True love is the kind of thing that happens once in a lifetime. As used in my post, love can mean as little as the serious and deep infatuation that is often confused with the real deal.

Also, despite my somewhat harsh criticism of this song (in post #1), I believe Alison Sudol is an amazing singer and songwriter. In fact, One Cell In The Sea is one of my all-time favorite albums (along with the likes of Metallica’s “Master of Puppets”; I’m not called MetalSandman999 for nothing).

Goodnight!

could the "new" guy possibly be just a friend? thats how i relate to this song. like the girl is getting over all this emotional baggage of a breakup or whatever and she is leaning on a friend for support. i know i feel better when im near my friends. any girl would agree that a really good friendship between her and a boy is special because its hard to find really good guy friends. so maybe the girl is getting over someone and she is turning to her guy-friend (something different).

So many good comments here. And metalsandman - i agree with you about how the adjectives, verbs could be a little better... unless... the lyricist really does mean them to be so "different".

Allow me to throw a new idea into the ring: I don't think the lyrics make the new relationship seem "forced" so to speak, but instead, convey her apprehensiveness to opening up to someone new. I think when she calls her new relationship "different", she is not discrediting the new guy - but realizing the differences in the old and new... and yet... "enjoying it". Maybe enjoying isn't such a bad verb - maybe she wasn't sure if she would enjoy a relationship of a different nature and is proud to say that she is.

I think that's what the song is about - the transition of letting an ex go and accepting someone else into your life. To illustrate, let me plug in my own experience here, and tell me if you can see how this song coincides.

My first love and I were the best of friends for years, very close, but we were always off and on when it came to dating. Our relationship (when in session) was fun, restless, spontaneous, innocent, energetic, loving, passionate - like you see in the movies. Running naked through a field, watching the sun come up, snowball fights, moon-lit walks and heart to hearts, sweet whispers, staring contests, telling eachother our dreams, skinny-dipping, laying in silence together, lauging til our sides split - sounds perfect, right?

Well it was to me anyway. It was "beautiful", but it was also "dysfunctional". We're talking years of being off and on dating - never because we hated eachother, but I blame commitment-phobia. Finally, I'll admit... I was the first to start wanting to settle down. "Fall in love... yadi yada yada". Not a conscious thing, but just felt myself settling (in how I thought, the choices I would make, etc). And who had i always thought of myself settling down with? You got it... except... he wasn't ready. I held on for so long, falling more and more in love, silently thinking I could sway him to want to settle down with me... but...long story short - he still wanted to be a free-spirit. The hurt was so deep that I had to break all contact with him and found out through a stranger that he moved away shortly after. That was over a year ago. Our story was so unique and so long and so deep and so perfect in my eyes. That when it didn't have the perfect ending, I was CRUSHED.

My boyfriend now is the one who followed. When we started going out, I compared everything he did to my ex. I still wasn't over him. In some ways, I don't think I ever will be. But I am happy again and open to love again and it took time and a lot of patience on his part (like in this song). :) My boyfriend is so "different" from my ex - but I've grown to love the differences. He is more mature, more stable, more confident in things my ex wasn't, and vice versa. He loves me and has no problem saying things like, "maybe next year we'll..." or just "we or us" in the future tense about anything! But My boyfriend now would never run naked through a field with me. But he would talk politics with me all night. My boyfriend now doesn't really like fishing. But he loves taking me and teaching me sailing. My boyfriend now won't go running with me. But he will spend $10 more a month so we can work out together at his gym. My boyfriend now wouldn't want to dance with me in the living room. But he would buy me this CD and let me listen to it while he cooks me dinner. :)

I still miss my ex sometimes (especially after writing all this) but I have grown to love someone new finally. And he loves me back !All those things I loved about my ex are now dear memories. My boyfriend is nothing like my ex, but his differences, while scary and strange to me at first, are now beautiful and dear to me as well. And he loves the cooky things about me too.

And now I can say to him "I only know that I belong where you are". :)

Twilight:

BELLA TO JACOB

Makes you want to cry a little bit doesn't it, team werewolf?

candid lyrics...most of a fine frenzy's are.

pop_it, I TOTALLY feel you.

Ooh MadnessMethod 'Almost Lover' is another great one for those two. I'm so torn between Jacob and Edward :(

I feel that Metalsandman999's 2nd post is dead on. Since she sings "I'm better new to you" and "You are wonderful" so many times...repeating over and over throughout the song, it seems as if she is trying to convince herself. Like if she repeats it enough, it will be true. Probably wondering why it's so hard to get over such a dysfunctional relationship when she has something good in front of her, even though she might not totally want it.

sorry about the typos "I'm better near to you" yadda yadda yadda