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(alphabetically listed drugs, fade to verse)
I'm going there to give him cash,
Hear him laugh bring him back
If I cant tear down these walls
I'll slip in through the crack
If that crack ain't big enough
I'm sick enough to get committed,
Where he's been I ain't been
Allowed to visit, and I miss him
They put me in a submission hold
Got him living in a hole
Give me the rope, pull it back
Cut him slack he's getting old
It's cold, there's nothing
For his bones..he's shaking
Always put on hold
That prison phone's always taken
They put me on a speaker but
My voice is breaking up
I'd like to think he caught bits and pieces
'fore the gates could shut
RAISE IT UP
Somebody cover me, I'm going in,
With razor cuts,
And something ugly that I know within
Can't afford the luxury
Of exposing everything
But I've been doing the best that I can
I take it day by day
Just one step at a time
And I don't need a sobriety test
To walk the line
Walking on this tightrope
With arms open wide,
Hoping to find you 'live
And well on the other side
So I could give you
This gift as a symbol
When I felt the rope loosen
I knew I missed my window
He really did love you
You know.. pat pat..
I said 'Get your fucking
Hand off my back'
This is my passage into adulthood
And I need not
Small talk fingers fishing
From a weak spot
I used to dream a lot
In search for meaning in a sleepwalk
The only time I find myself
Having a deep talk
And now I never sleep 'cause sleep
Is the cousin of death
One can never rest depending on
How up the drugs get
Upset? submit me to a bloodtest
Find no trace of my words reverting back to
Wait, that wasnt what I meant...
My right eye is sunrise
The left is sunset
The moonshine ain't
Got me drunk yet
My tounge's wet
For the lunar eclipse
And when youre flat broke ain't nothing
You wont do for a fix
It's a beautiful mix
Of Jesus-Juice from my lips
And words that are stuck
So I stirred 'em up with a crucifix
And this is where I found
A friend in Christ
But I also found a few spikes
And I decided to use them
As pegs on my bike
So you could have a place to stand
When I broke you out of that vice
And now I'm going back to rehab
I'm going back to rehab
I'm going back to rehabback to back..going back to rehab...I dont drink though
I'm going back
As a dead again Christian,
With a medicine prescription
The other friend of Bill
Let let let me in
Get me outta this
Hooked up to plugs and wires
While dogs sniff
For a powdered substance
In a town of judgements
With glass house developments
Cookie-cutter Republican
School-book intelligence
They never considered
How just one rock,
Could crack the whole facade
Now they confiscate slingshots
I will not meditate on the sermon
Heaven's gate is burning
So we self-medicate with bourbon
While their collection players
Turn into a purse
I've turned into a second rate person
But I'm not the first
This isnt your typical
Cry for help
I tried to melt, someone stopped
The trickling with a bible belt
Reminded me of tourniquets
And heroin nods
Now that -- that right there?
That's one hell of a God
You cant match magic
With an addict that's got a map and compass
In order to find a substance
And matchstick that functions
A searching and fearless
Immoral inventory
'Til every person with a story
Begins to bore me
I did what I had to do to get
To the place where your face
Wasn't such a blurry mess
I packed all your favorite promises
And words that we kept
You weren't hard to find,
All it took was 13 steps
And now I'm going back to rehab
I'm Going back to rehab
Going back to rehab
Going back to rehab
huh, I don't drink though
Going there to give him cash,
Hear him laugh bring him back
If I cant tear down these walls
I'll slip in through the crack
If that crack ain't big enough
I'm sick enough to get committed,
Where he's been I ain't been
Allowed to visit, and I miss him
Put me in a submission hold
Got him living in a hole
Give me the rope, pull it back
Cut him slack he's getting old
This bitter cold, there's nothing
For his brittle bones..he's shaking
Eternally put on hold
That prison phone's always taken
Put me on a speaker but
My voice is breaking up
Like to think he caught bits and pieces
'fore the gates could shut
RAISE IT UP
Somebody cover me, I'm going in,
With razor cuts,
Something ugly that I know within
Can't afford the luxury
Of exposing everything
But I'm doing the best that I can
I take it day by day
Just one step at a time
And I don't need a sobriety test
To walk the line
(continued alphabetical list of drugs)
I'm going there to give him cash,
Hear him laugh bring him back
If I cant tear down these walls
I'll slip in through the crack
If that crack ain't big enough
I'm sick enough to get committed,
Where he's been I ain't been
Allowed to visit, and I miss him
They put me in a submission hold
Got him living in a hole
Give me the rope, pull it back
Cut him slack he's getting old
It's cold, there's nothing
For his bones..he's shaking
Always put on hold
That prison phone's always taken
They put me on a speaker but
My voice is breaking up
I'd like to think he caught bits and pieces
'fore the gates could shut
RAISE IT UP
Somebody cover me, I'm going in,
With razor cuts,
And something ugly that I know within
Can't afford the luxury
Of exposing everything
But I've been doing the best that I can
I take it day by day
Just one step at a time
And I don't need a sobriety test
To walk the line
Walking on this tightrope
With arms open wide,
Hoping to find you 'live
And well on the other side
So I could give you
This gift as a symbol
When I felt the rope loosen
I knew I missed my window
He really did love you
You know.. pat pat..
I said 'Get your fucking
Hand off my back'
This is my passage into adulthood
And I need not
Small talk fingers fishing
From a weak spot
I used to dream a lot
In search for meaning in a sleepwalk
The only time I find myself
Having a deep talk
And now I never sleep 'cause sleep
Is the cousin of death
One can never rest depending on
How up the drugs get
Upset? submit me to a bloodtest
Find no trace of my words reverting back to
Wait, that wasnt what I meant...
My right eye is sunrise
The left is sunset
The moonshine ain't
Got me drunk yet
My tounge's wet
For the lunar eclipse
And when youre flat broke ain't nothing
You wont do for a fix
It's a beautiful mix
Of Jesus-Juice from my lips
And words that are stuck
So I stirred 'em up with a crucifix
And this is where I found
A friend in Christ
But I also found a few spikes
And I decided to use them
As pegs on my bike
So you could have a place to stand
When I broke you out of that vice
And now I'm going back to rehab
I'm going back to rehab
I'm going back to rehabback to back..going back to rehab...I dont drink though
I'm going back
As a dead again Christian,
With a medicine prescription
The other friend of Bill
Let let let me in
Get me outta this
Hooked up to plugs and wires
While dogs sniff
For a powdered substance
In a town of judgements
With glass house developments
Cookie-cutter Republican
School-book intelligence
They never considered
How just one rock,
Could crack the whole facade
Now they confiscate slingshots
I will not meditate on the sermon
Heaven's gate is burning
So we self-medicate with bourbon
While their collection players
Turn into a purse
I've turned into a second rate person
But I'm not the first
This isnt your typical
Cry for help
I tried to melt, someone stopped
The trickling with a bible belt
Reminded me of tourniquets
And heroin nods
Now that -- that right there?
That's one hell of a God
You cant match magic
With an addict that's got a map and compass
In order to find a substance
And matchstick that functions
A searching and fearless
Immoral inventory
'Til every person with a story
Begins to bore me
I did what I had to do to get
To the place where your face
Wasn't such a blurry mess
I packed all your favorite promises
And words that we kept
You weren't hard to find,
All it took was 13 steps
And now I'm going back to rehab
I'm Going back to rehab
Going back to rehab
Going back to rehab
huh, I don't drink though
Going there to give him cash,
Hear him laugh bring him back
If I cant tear down these walls
I'll slip in through the crack
If that crack ain't big enough
I'm sick enough to get committed,
Where he's been I ain't been
Allowed to visit, and I miss him
Put me in a submission hold
Got him living in a hole
Give me the rope, pull it back
Cut him slack he's getting old
This bitter cold, there's nothing
For his brittle bones..he's shaking
Eternally put on hold
That prison phone's always taken
Put me on a speaker but
My voice is breaking up
Like to think he caught bits and pieces
'fore the gates could shut
RAISE IT UP
Somebody cover me, I'm going in,
With razor cuts,
Something ugly that I know within
Can't afford the luxury
Of exposing everything
But I'm doing the best that I can
I take it day by day
Just one step at a time
And I don't need a sobriety test
To walk the line
(continued alphabetical list of drugs)
Lyrics submitted by figureeight
Track duration: 06:11
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Cry for help
I tried to melt, someone stopped
The trickling with a bible belt
Reminded me of tourniquets
And heroin nods
Now that -- that right there?
That's one hell of a God
That is an amazing set of lyrics... If i had to make my guess it's about how AA uses the opiate of the masses (religion) to "save" alcoholics.
My familiarity with the phrase "13th step" is that it's when a AA or NA member relapses once achieving the 12th step. I like jerkjess' description better as it's not as much of a downer.
Where it says "other friend of bill" the line is actually "yeah, I'm a friend of bill". Friend of Bill is an insider term for a member of AA. (Bill Wilson is credited as the founder of AA.) It's a way for AA members to discretely ask one another if they're members without overtly saying "Hey, you an alcoholic?" Much like the gay community has the phrase "friend of Dorothy"
I agree this has to do with dealing with an addict. It's an interesting perspective because it definitely exists but most people don't talk about it from such an honest view of an enabler. I can understand just wanting to be near someone so bad that you encourage their bad habits even though you know they're destructive. I'm studying to become a chemical dependency counselor and this is what a lot of people refer to as the act of "loving someone to death".
I've seen a lot of relationships develop 'in the rooms' (as they refer to the meetings). You strive together so hard to stay clean, make something of your life. When one of you falls out of it, you hit a dichotomy. Do you go back to that old level/way to save them, or do you just rely on faith.
AA/NA deals with a 'higher powe' and states that it's 'not a religious' organization. Sage's Christian wording is likely his faith and how it plays into all of it.
Anyhoo, this is just one guy's thoughts. The replies to this are great, as is the song.
having been through rehab and all that shit, 13 steps is a term coined by AA/NA, its usually a derogatory remark for someone who is only going to meetings to hook up with people and fuck.
Im no decrypter, But judging by the song, it sounds as if hes speaking of a codependent relation ship that started in rehab, or on the streets and was fueled by their using.
and sage francis a free mason? thats absurd, Freemasonary is patriotic to the US.. sage francis is anything but a modern day patriot. u people are morons. read in between the lines.
Likely for drugs, a friend(?) is imprisoned, and Sage is still trying to keep in touch with him, help him out, but in the meantime he has his own demons to fight. Well, he is as dirty as his friend but he ends up committed in a rehabilitation program instead. Obviously, in rehab a person can actually get help, but in prison help is not the point and it's not really available. So his friend is getting older and sicker, and as Sage gets better he can't help that old friend anymore, because they are on completely different planes of addiction and experience at this point. They no longer have enough in common to stay friends and help each other in any significant way, because one went to rehab and actually started to get better while the other went to prison and just got worse. Sage is mad that he lost his opportunity to help a friend in need just because he now has a happier life, and too because he never got the experience of prison that his friend so they might still share something. Now he feels like he can't relate to his friend anymore, so he can't ask him to try to get better, talking some shit like 'well, if I got better you can!' because now their experiences are so different that doesn't apply anymore.
It's probably not about finding God at all, but he seems to be speaking pretty derisively about the 12 Steps, which are extremely Christian-centric. A huge part about going through the 12 Steps is sort of surrendering your will to God and trusting that through him everything will get better. The reference to 13 steps is probably because while the 12 Steps are used against alcoholism, the same steps apply to recovering from other drug addictions; however, what tends to happen is that drug users are on probation for possession (so it is used as punishment and also as a way to deter further drug use while the patient tries to get better) and they ultimately turn to alcohol in place of what they were using before (because alcohol is more socially acceptable). So Sage seems to be making a point about going through the 12 Steps to recover from his addiction, and then the 13th step is beginning to use alcohol. He makes a lot of references to alcohol and God in close proximity, so...that all seems to be the case.
But then he ends up in rehab again. He went in once before, did his time, got clean, but the outside world he's facing is still such shit. People don't understand because they haven't been through anything like what he has, and they don't care to understand and really they don't give a fuck at all about anything, least of all his strife, because everyone expects us to just 'be better' if we're not vapid enough already, and have no qualms about telling us in their own self-righteous rhetoric about all the things WE'RE doing wrong. So he starts drinking and does himself in. When he goes back he's on the pills to take care of whatever 'depression' or 'bi-polar' or whatever the doctors came up with last time to explain away the cuts and the drug use. (It ties in with the song Slow Down Gandhi: 'all I wanted was a fucking pepsi' institutions; making you think you're crazy is a billion dollar industry.) He reflects on how much treatment is counter-intuitive, because it employs a lot of the same concepts as does drug use in the first place (you can't smoke crack but here's some prozac and klonopin to ease the pain).
It sucks because he really can't relate to this friend anymore, and he know he should be appreciative of the 'better help' he got, but it actually kind of does not help at all. Really all of the will and ability to get better has to come from personal resolve, and while an environment where one is more or less forced to approach a more positive lifestyle probably gave him a leg-up over his friend, he's not really feeling any better. He's just not an addict anymore. But can he still talk to that friend, will that friend still listen, can he still help that friend get better? The way the song goes, it looks like sometimes he feels it's too late, and other times he is determined just to try.
In the meantime, he is just still trying to get better himself, so if nothing else he can be a better person himself and contribute something positive to this fuck-up world.
That's...about it I think. y/y?
I think this line is actually,
"While their collection plate / Has turned into a purse." That's how it sounds in the song, and I believe it makes more sense.