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When I was eight
I was sure I was growing nerves
Like steel in my palm
Make a map of what you see
Direct pain effectively
I was eight
I was sure I was growing pains
Like lead in my feet
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
Oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Oh
Like O, like H
In your gut
Like O, like H
In your gut
Like O, like H
In your gut
In your
In your
SOS
SOS
Then I was four plus a ten
I was swinging fists
Like nails in a board
Pull your hands inside of you
Six years until I'll be through
I was four plus a ten
I was swinging back
Like a race to be sure
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
Oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Like oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Like oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Oh
Like O, like H
In your gut
(4x)
SOS
SOS
In your gut
SOS
In your gut
In your
I was sure I was growing nerves
Like steel in my palm
Make a map of what you see
Direct pain effectively
I was eight
I was sure I was growing pains
Like lead in my feet
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
Oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Oh
Like O, like H
In your gut
Like O, like H
In your gut
Like O, like H
In your gut
In your
In your
SOS
SOS
Then I was four plus a ten
I was swinging fists
Like nails in a board
Pull your hands inside of you
Six years until I'll be through
I was four plus a ten
I was swinging back
Like a race to be sure
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
SOS to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
Oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Like oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Like oh, oh sugar spell it out like
Oh
Like O, like H
In your gut
(4x)
SOS
SOS
In your gut
SOS
In your gut
In your
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Sara's mentioned this song referring to problems with drug use
In the next verse, she repeats the theme of growth again, this time saying that she was sure she was "growing pains". "Growing pains" is a common experience which everyone has when growing up, and might be used to trivialize the deep pain she feels. "SOS to my mother" is the child desperately reaching out for help, which as a child is usually done through pleas to her mother. Yet the fact that the mother does nothing as the song progresses reflects the child's sense of betrayal and hurt by the world.
My favourite line in the whole thing is "take the hinges off the door". The image of a locked door represents the barriers the narrator puts up between herself and the world, barriers necessary to push people away and allow her to survive. Yet the fact that she's still pleading for help shows that she isn't truly as strong as she pretends to be, that no matter how tough she acts, she still wants someone to help because she knows that life doesn't always have to be like this, that the pain can not only be redirected but actually be erased. Yet the door remains locked, perhaps from the inside. The plea to her mother, or to anyone, to take the hinges off the door represents the longing for someone to push through her barriers, to care enough to know that her seeming toughness and imperviousness is really a disguise for an inner vulnerability.
No matter how clearly she spells it out, "like O, like H", her pleas are ignored. The phrase "in your gut" imples that this need for help, this longing for someone who can be trusted that is present since a traumatic childhood, never really goes away, even though the narrator tries to push it down and pretend to be strong.
In the next verse, the narrator has grown up, and she is now "four plus a ten". I feel that the breaking down of "fourteen" into two smaller numbers represents how she is the sum total of all the experiences she's been through since she was a child. As a child, she felt hurt by the world, but now that she's a teenager, she's started lashing out and "swinging back". Sara apparently said before a show that it was about her dropping acid; the striking back at the world the narrator carries out could be interpreted as rebellious behaviour. The "nerves of steel", something which allowed her to endure, have now turned into "nails in a board", sharp tools that allow her to hurt others. Yet the outward show of toughness and aggression cannot compensate for the real pain she feels inside; by "pull[ing] [her] hands inside of [her]", she is retreating into herself, again repeating the theme of simply enduring; "six years until I'll be through". Six years after fourteen is twenty, an age when she will stop being a teenager and perhaps be free from the trouble she is going through, not needing to pretend any longer.
Heh, sorry for writing an entire essay. But I really love this song. As a gay teenage girl (some people have suggested that "take the hinges off the door" could refer to a closet door, which adds another nuance to the idea of an inner vulnerability that must be disguised) who is growing up in an unaccepting society, I can totally empathize. T
makes sense. :]
Shows how much I remember from Chemistry, ahaha.
"S.o.S. to my mother, take the hinges off the door" - privacy = opportunity; she's asking for help
"Like O, like h, in your gut" - I'm not sure about the O, but H is another name for heroine.
"When I was four plus a ten I was swinging fists, like nails in a board
Pull your hands inside of you, six years till I'll be through
I was four plus ten, I was swinging fists, like a race to be sure"
- age 14 is an age known for rebellion, lashing out, anger, and change. whether being gay was hard or not, that age is hard by itself, too.
Just my take on some of the lyrics. I love this song. I was a cutter, etc...my mom took the door off its hinges and put me in the hospital, but only after she accidentally saw the cuts. (no, this isn't some emo fad, there are people with mental problems who do this and need actual help, it's an addiction, it feels better than feeling nothing, it fills in the gaps...at least that's what we tell ourselves.) It's so desolate and brittle sounding. I love it. It captures the feeling perfectly.