Tegan and Sara – Back in Your Head

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  My Interpretation:This song has nothing to do with being a lesbian! It's about a long term relationship with somebody emotionally unavailable (sara) and the struggles that go along with it:
  "Build a wall of books between us in our bed"- When going to bed turns into reading book after book until the lights go out, no longer having that sexual spark
  "repeat repeat the words that I know we both have said"- Going through the motions, saying "I love you" every night out of habit
  "Relax into the need we get so comfortable"- Losing the newness of the relationship
  "Remember when I was so strange and likeable" - Remembering the newness of the relationship
  "I just want back in your head"- Wanting to have a real intellectual conversation with your partner not just the "how was your day"
  "I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray"- She's not a cheater... but emotionally she needs to be pulled back in, or she gets a jolt out of flirting with other people just because she can
  "When I jerk away from holding hands with you, I know these habits hurt important parts of you"- She doesn't like PDA it's a problem for her partner, she becomes hurt and feels like Sara is ashamed to be with her
  "Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable, nothing like this person unlovable"- She is now cold and uninterested
  
  Basically I think that Sara is wanting to end a relationship because she is no longer romantically interested, but doesn't want too because they are too close. Like best friends, or roommates.

  Flag elyse0316on January 07, 2013   Link

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  General Comment:This might sound crazy... but... it really depends. She's a lesbian, right?
  well I don't really know her history. but it could be what all you people are saying, or...
  it could be about her realization of being a lesbian. Maybe with her last boyfriend (if she had any)
  or it could be a reason behind her becoming a lesbian in the first place.
  perhaps she was heartbroken too many times, or she was perhaps even abused as a kid somehow.
  the music video is what made me think a little about that. This one man. That made her reject all men in the long run.

  Flag Ryanstokes3on July 19, 2011   Link

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    Are you actually saying that to 'become' a lesbian you have to have been let down by too many men and/or have been abused as a child? Because that, my friend, is ignorance if ever I saw it. For one thing, you don't become a lesbian, you either are or you're not, and for another for anyone realising that they're gay has nothing at all to do with anyone else but themselves, not members of the opposite sex or the same, it's a personal thing that doesn't come from what anyone else has done. Being gay isn't a choice, it just is, and what you said right there is digusting.

    Flag DeadxLikexMeon September 19, 2011  
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  General Comment:For me, this song is about the troubles and hardships of living a life of polygamy (that is, having more than one sexual or intimate partner). "I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray" says to me that I do want to spend time with you and you mean a lot to me but I won't limit myself to one romantic partner. The lines "When I jerk away from holding hands with you I know these habits hurt important parts of you" is a line I feel that I can relate with. Because I am a polygamous person, one of my partners has pushed me away or kept from showing public displays of affection because she's got her eye on someone else at the party. It may hurt for those few moments but in the end I still know I mean a lot to her, and some time soon we'll have another kinky night together with whip cream and bondage tape! HA HA HA! Less of an interpretation and more of a self expression. =P

  Flag IluvIhateMyselfon November 11, 2010   Link

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  My Interpretation:I think "I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray" is about an open relationship... she'll be with other people but she's not cheating. Anybody else??

  Flag twztdon August 10, 2010   Link

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    YES!!!! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT TOO!!!! Look what I said after you mang!

    Flag IluvIhateMyselfon November 11, 2010  
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  General Comment:i feel like the person in this song is realizing how strong their relationship is so they are pulling away because they are scared to commit. "i'm not unfaithful but i'll stray", to me, is saying that they do care about this person but they are having trouble fulling devoting themselves and they tend to pull away emotionally but they need help coming back. just my opinion.

  Flag dietpepsi10on June 19, 2010   Link

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  General Comment:holy crap best tegan and sara song ever. its the one that got me hooked.
  ithink the meaning is pretty clear. it was new it was great and then it started cooling off and things got strained and repetitive. "not unfaithful but ill stray"- the singer got bored and started to flirt and possibly emotianally cheat but she still wants this other chick so shes saying sorry and feels like crap. obviously she wants to go back to how it used to be.
  Theyre comin to dallas! cant wait

  Flag cchazohnineon February 20, 2010   Link

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  General Comment:im not unfaithful but i'll stray... beautiful

  Flag cryostrichon June 03, 2009   Link

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  General Comment:oh my. love this song.

  Flag laurencawdellon April 14, 2009   Link

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  General Comment:Sara explains what she was thinking about while writing the song in this video of an in-store concert/signing they did in Borders in Ann Arbor, MI on 11/27/07:
  youtube.com/…
  This is not my video, I just found it on YouTube yesterday after reading all of your interpretations.
  
  I do believe Sara's talking about Emy.

  Flag Stifledon March 23, 2009   Link

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  General Comment:I believe that this song is trying to talk about how when they started the relationships they were what the other person was thinking about, but though she loves her, she still strays, as in, she still looks at other people. And now that she sees that they're drifting apart, all she wants is to be back to thinking about the other person and vise versa.
  
  

  Flag aniraveon February 28, 2009   Link

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