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Now that I'm alone I feel the lonely brokenness
Of all the wicked avenues I've ever sold my love on
All these moments of meekness and trembling subsided
I'm the outright abandon of this orphan child
Home is on the highway living on soft bread and solace
I guess I'm waiting for nightfall or a solar eclipse
And to wake up half empty
Only to be filled again with mourning
He's my evil shadow dove
My black Palamito
Can't break him like a diamond skull
I can't seem to do so
Can't just rob him out like the
Mob used to do so
Like memories of porno and tea stains
And tobacco O it's a mini disastro
Bigger than the ice age don't know if baby dinosaurs
Maybe could live through it, like Indians and butterflies
What's crushed is my spirit, Oh I fear it is too fragile
Like fall leaves burn like paper
I always knew I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals
Spend all my time amongst the animals
And on the tracks I would go they lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals
Oh I'm just a fall leaf something simple and shy like that
That's how my heart lies down beside the sidewalk
Like an empty restaurant filled with perfume and balloons
I sit and entertain the bizarro ghosts of my soul
His name still lingers maybe lactates on my tongue
Perhaps I'm just teething for a foreign fallen destiny
Miserable but mine, I look like his mother
Or Sophia Loren in an old fashioned movie
Slow motion I cling to my child desperate for love
One day soon my brother died, made me remember all the
Subordinate feelings I cast aside
Maybe I had lied when I said I was ok
Just getting along like a little song that stops to sing and say
"Wild willow, windy winter won't you blow through me
My whole eternity"
Of all the wicked avenues I've ever sold my love on
All these moments of meekness and trembling subsided
I'm the outright abandon of this orphan child
Home is on the highway living on soft bread and solace
I guess I'm waiting for nightfall or a solar eclipse
And to wake up half empty
Only to be filled again with mourning
He's my evil shadow dove
My black Palamito
Can't break him like a diamond skull
I can't seem to do so
Can't just rob him out like the
Mob used to do so
Like memories of porno and tea stains
And tobacco O it's a mini disastro
Bigger than the ice age don't know if baby dinosaurs
Maybe could live through it, like Indians and butterflies
What's crushed is my spirit, Oh I fear it is too fragile
Like fall leaves burn like paper
I always knew I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals
Spend all my time amongst the animals
And on the tracks I would go they lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals
Oh I'm just a fall leaf something simple and shy like that
That's how my heart lies down beside the sidewalk
Like an empty restaurant filled with perfume and balloons
I sit and entertain the bizarro ghosts of my soul
His name still lingers maybe lactates on my tongue
Perhaps I'm just teething for a foreign fallen destiny
Miserable but mine, I look like his mother
Or Sophia Loren in an old fashioned movie
Slow motion I cling to my child desperate for love
One day soon my brother died, made me remember all the
Subordinate feelings I cast aside
Maybe I had lied when I said I was ok
Just getting along like a little song that stops to sing and say
"Wild willow, windy winter won't you blow through me
My whole eternity"
Lyrics submitted by TDeMello
Track duration: 06:02
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To "rub out" someone is to kill someone, in American Mafia Slang, which would explain why she says mob.
"I sit and entertain the bizarro ghosts of my soul"
I hear
"I sit and entertain the bizarre guests of my soul
Maybe I'm wrong, that's just what I hear.
)
I think this song is about isolation, and that being alone leaves you to your thoughts. She isn't prostituting herself literally, she feels regret towards the "avenues" that she has given her love away so easily on, or without really thinking about it. When we are alone we are left to our thoughts, and we can't help but think we could have done something a different way, or not given a part of ourselves with such ease. Because it often leads to heartbreak and loneliness. or "wake up half empty". This song is about heartbreak, about living and dealing with the pain of love
"He's my evil shadow dove
My black Palamito
Can't break him like a diamond skull"
He's the evil part, the one that broke who she is, but she can't break him. She cherishes the pain I think, and the pain makes her who she is (makes us all who we are today). She can't just have him killed like the mob, nor would she, because we all have to live with the memories, whether they are good or bad. Killing him, or breaking him would not ease her pain.
Fragility plays a great part in this song as well, the reference to leaves, Autumn is the time of death and stillness. The innocence of animals and the comfort and solitude that they offer her to be alone with her thoughts and memories. animals aren't judgmental so she can live with who she is, and won't feel so misunderstood by them. I loved the crushed spirits simile "like Indians and butterflies"
"I sit and entertain the bizarro ghosts of my soul
His name still lingers maybe lactates on my tongue
Perhaps I'm just teething for a foreign fallen destiny
Miserable but mine, I look like his mother"
Okay, if you've been in a falling out with someone you loved deeply, you can completely relate to this part. She entertains the thought of them being back together. Part of him still lingers in her memories, his name is in her mouth and on her mind. she's craving her "fallen destiny", she wallows in misery and its all hers.
Well the wind blows, and life goes on, and that's the reason for the last line. So the moral is, deal with your heartache, its yours, and no one elses. Find time to be alone and miserable, tell everyone you're okay and go live with some animals and get out of shitty, judgmental society.
But I think she is obviously hurt/depressed from something in her past dealing with her family.
And she doesn't know where to go, except the Animals.
Itr talks about memories or tea stains and tobacco.
Also, her soul is crushed and filled w/ ghosts.
So. That's my thought.
"What's crushed is my spirit, Oh I fear it is too fragile
Like fall leaves burn like paper"
"I always knew I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals
Spend all my time amongst the animals
And on the tracks I would go they lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals"
always beautiful words