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You lie silent there before me
your tears they mean nothing to me
the wind howling at the window
the love you never gave
I give to you
Really don't deserve it
but now there's nothing you can do
so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest mother
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
goodbye
goodbye
So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me
are you hiding away lost
under the sewers
maybe flying high in the clouds
perhaps you're happy without me
so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died
I would have never felt sad at all
you will not hear me say I'm sorry
where is the light
wonder if it's weeping somewhere
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
your tears they mean nothing to me
the wind howling at the window
the love you never gave
I give to you
Really don't deserve it
but now there's nothing you can do
so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest mother
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
goodbye
goodbye
So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me
are you hiding away lost
under the sewers
maybe flying high in the clouds
perhaps you're happy without me
so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died
I would have never felt sad at all
you will not hear me say I'm sorry
where is the light
wonder if it's weeping somewhere
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
Lyrics submitted by Luma.Odat
Track duration: 07:09
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English is not my first language, so please do forgive my choice of words and any grammar/spelling mistakes :D
I think this song is about a child and a mother (or a mother figure)
The child was neglected or abused or was abandoned by this mother, and that made the child turn into a bad person.
The child has this love-hate relationship with his mother or whatever memory he has of her. He wonders where is she?
The child can't help but love his mother (is she flying high?) and long for the relationship he never had, but in the same time he hates her (or under the sewers?) for abandoning him and blames her for what have become of him and all the bad things he have ever done.
He wishes that he was dead, if she had killed him (abortion?). He wouldn't be sad if he was dead, he thinks life would be better without him (and who could sprout up so blessedly).
But even so, he will not say sorry for whatever bad things he have done, because he believes it's not his fault.
The song highly suggest that the mother is dead, whether by the hands of the child or not.
Even so, he still can't find it in him to shed a tear for the death of his mother, and he finds solace in the fact that she will forever feel guilty/frightened of what had become of him, and be haunted by the burdening memories and the curses of this child, and she can't do anything about it.
(Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye)
I find this part really hard to interpret, it may have several meanings.
But it gives the feeling of an ending, a conclusion. Is the child talking to the mother? or himself? both?
Did he kill the mother? or did he find that the true person he hates was himself and thus committed suicide?
Or is he just talking to the "memory" of this mother and deciding to let it all go?
good-bye to my dear mother, good-bye to all the agony you gave me, good-bye to myself.
good-bye.
"You lie silent there before me
your tears they mean nothing to me"
Daughter is at the hospital, and her mother is on the hospital bed. The mother had cried herself to sleep, but the daughter (because she felt abandoned) doesn't feel any emotional attachment to her.
"the wind howling at the window"
This is alluding to how much she wants to say to her mother (the wind howling) but she stops herself (the window).
"the love you never gave
I give to you"
She is giving her mother her time, and she is caring for her while she is sick, she is loving her. Something her mother never did for her.
“Really don't deserve it”
The mother doesn’t deserve being cared for by her daughter, because the mother never cared for her daughter.
“but now there's nothing you can do”
The daughter is planning to make the death of her mother quicker, as both mercy and vengeance.
“so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest mother”
She wants her ‘dearest mother’ to know what her daughter feels, before she dies.
“Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
goodbye
goodbye “
Here the daughter is telling her mother all that she feels. And that she will kill her. And her mother is crying.
“So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me”
She tells her mother that she is pregnant, but that her mother would never care.
“are you hiding away lost
under the sewers
maybe flying high in the clouds”
She has now killed her mother, and is wondering if her mother is in heaven (flying above the clouds) or in hell (under the sewers).
“perhaps you're happy without me”
She is wondering if her mother is happy dead, because she’s not there.
“so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died”
Here she wonders, if she wasn’t there to take care of her mother, who would her mother have asked for.
“I would have never felt sad at all
you will not hear me say I'm sorry”
She is talking to herself about how she would never have been sad if her mother had other important people in her life.
“where is the light
wonder if it's weeping somewhere”
Here she is wondering if it was wrong to kill her mother.
“Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye”
This is her reliving the murder of her mother over and over again, and then she leaves the room and goes home.
"the love you never gave
I give to you"
Referring to the fact that Alessa just wanted a normal life with her mum, and not to be the blasphemous holy mother.
"So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me"
And
"so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died "
The god.
"if I had died
I would have never felt sad at all"
She just wanted to die.
"you will not hear me say I'm sorry"
After the burning, she was consumed by hatred for all things, her mother in particular.
"where is the light"
She's trapped in the otherworld.
"wonder if it's weeping somewhere"
She takes pure, unhinged despair to another level.
It's just my interpretation though.
But it a different meaning to everyone. When I listen to this song I feel like it's about me, my Mother, and my Mother's drugs and credit cards. It's basically a feeling of wanting to throw something (or even someone) away so that you don't get dragged down into their destructive void. It also seems to have some underlying self-destructive themes.
if I had died
I would have never felt sad at all
I understand the feeling that this line conveys. It's not so much wanting to kill yourself as wishing that you had died a long time ago and been spared all the suffering you aren't fully able to overcome.
I don't feel enough for you to cry
Numbed down by too much anger and sorrow, you stop caring about yourself. I get like this after me and my Mother have a huge argument and she makes sure to hurt me as much as possible.
so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest mother
But you still want to protect this person, because you just can't fully hate them. I can't hate my Mother entirely because she is, despite her desperate desire to get rid of me, my Mother.
This song so perfectly conveys such screwed-up feelings. I love it.