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Why can't I sleep? I was fascinated by the silence.
It is empty to talk to myself in a damp room again.
Why can't I sleep? Because I saw you.
You look down at the wet floor. Leaning the head while sleeping.
I just didn't have any feelings for the uninteresting reality.
I adoringly looked at you without saying a word and even forgetting to blink.
I want to fall asleep, just feeling the fear of awaking.
I want to forget everything. It is selfish nonsense.
I call your name. I go mad with the silence.
I shouted while holding your thin shoulder, it was too frail with warmth.
I was fascinated by the uninteresting reality.
I fount out that it even was meaningless that I had been borne not to cry.
The voice at my back kept on.
The reason was not important.
Only you look so sad in front of me.
I hate myself so much because I couldn't do anything for you.
I tell to you, who gave me my name. Can you be beside me as it is.
Yeh, for me you are the first and last "mother".
I softly lined you with deep red color on the white wall.
I came close, the still warm cheek. I just smiled calmly.
A big teardrop was filled with you. And I felt we could become one.
The time when the eyelids close and the warmth is gone, I am beside you.
Lyrics submitted by IndagoFeather
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are different..hm..
Ruki wrote a poem to his father and one part of it says " The things you said the things you did....
Like the time you slammed my face into the concrete ground....(in the bathroom?)
Do you remember the blood that stained it?....
I’m sure you don’t...."
And Ruki's mother could have been watching it. But that's just my thoughts on it.
As has already been mentioned, I'm looking at this like him walking in on his mother. I'm assuming she committed suicide, based on the lines
"The reason was not important.
Only you look so sad in front of me."
and
"I hate myself so much because I couldn't do anything for you."
I think that the entirety of the song actually takes place thoughout him finding his mother's body in the bath room. The starting few lines would be him first noticing something is off and going to find his mother, only to see her in the bath room.
This would also explain the reference to her still being warm, seeing as he would have only just found her after she killed herself.
"I softly lined you with deep red color on the white wall."
That line threw me off for a bit, but maybe it's referring to her splattered blood, rather than a casket? Like, he's looking over the scene, and his mind is "lining" her up with the blood, putting two and two together? Then again, that doesn't make much sense with the word "softly", or the fact that he seems to have already come to terms with the death earlier in the song.
I also just started wondering if that last bit is, perhaps, him joining her in the suicide? In that way, the "deep red color" would be his own blood as he gets close to her, also making the last line a more literal saying of him being beside her in death.
Aaaah, I have no idea. Too tired for this stuff, I sya. It's, like, four in the morning, and I hardly slept yesterday. xD
At first I thought it was something about obsession, but it wasn't afterall. I really like this tune; it's really.... watery. I wonder why there is an obsession with bathrooms, water, suicide, etc. o.o
the last line to me means.. like when his time comes to be cold and still, dead ultimately xD, he'll be with them again
I never expected translations like this when I first heard the song.
Even though I interpreted the lyrics a while ago it still makes me wonder just where someone like Ruki gets all his inspiration for songs like this. He doesn't really seem like a very dark-minded person. :/
But yeah, a child walking in on his mother's death... possibly a suicide? I doubt a mother would just drop dead in a bathroom... and she's looking down like she's slumped over slightly with her back against the wall. That's the image it puts into my head at least.
I know for sure the last line is about a funeral. Caskets are usually lined with some sort of velvet or other fabric right? And they can make them white right?
I'm a bit confused though by this line:
"I came close, the still warm cheek."
...If she's dead and in a casket then why is she still warm? o.o
I think the last line though is kind of a way of metaphorically saying "When you died I died as well."
Hm... loldunno.