This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Saw her at Go kissing girls, what a shock
I said you must be an artist
She muttered her reply, I was judging her friend
As the DJ played a dead jam
No one wants to dance
They're outside smoking cigarettes
Matthew was there, yes, he gave me the eye
Saying, "It doesn't kill to try" then blue lights all around
Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
To me you're just some faggy girl
And I need a lover with soul power
And you ain't got no soul power
Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
To me you're just some faggy girl
And I need a lover with soul power
No, you ain't got no soul
She lead me outside to the church with the swing
There I was her confessor
Her come on made me blush, was her crush for the night?
Until I screamed, 'Stop'
?Hey, you must be aware I'm not alone
I've got a tigress back at home and besides
You wouldn't know what to do with me"
And under the blue lights you see them gossiping
Gossiping, gossiping, gossiping, gossiping
Gossiping, gossiping
Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
To me you're just some faggy girl
And I need a lover with soul power
And you ain't got no soul power
Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
To me you're just some faggy girl
And I need a lover with soul power
And you ain't got no soul power
No, you ain't got no soul power
No, you ain't got no soul power
No, you ain't got no soul power
Say you ain't got no soul power
No, you ain't got no soul
I said you must be an artist
She muttered her reply, I was judging her friend
As the DJ played a dead jam
No one wants to dance
They're outside smoking cigarettes
Matthew was there, yes, he gave me the eye
Saying, "It doesn't kill to try" then blue lights all around
Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
To me you're just some faggy girl
And I need a lover with soul power
And you ain't got no soul power
Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
To me you're just some faggy girl
And I need a lover with soul power
No, you ain't got no soul
She lead me outside to the church with the swing
There I was her confessor
Her come on made me blush, was her crush for the night?
Until I screamed, 'Stop'
?Hey, you must be aware I'm not alone
I've got a tigress back at home and besides
You wouldn't know what to do with me"
And under the blue lights you see them gossiping
Gossiping, gossiping, gossiping, gossiping
Gossiping, gossiping
Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
To me you're just some faggy girl
And I need a lover with soul power
And you ain't got no soul power
Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
To me you're just some faggy girl
And I need a lover with soul power
And you ain't got no soul power
No, you ain't got no soul power
No, you ain't got no soul power
No, you ain't got no soul power
Say you ain't got no soul power
No, you ain't got no soul
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The Night We Met
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"There's a part - 'Cash in now honey, cash in Miss Smith.' Miss Smith is my Mother; our last name was Smith. Cashing in when she cashed in her life. So... she decided that, to her... at that time, she was desperate. Life wasn't worth it for her, that was her opinion. Some people think, never take your life, and some people find that their life isn't worth living. She was in love with my Dad, and my Dad was not faithful to her, and it broke her heart. She was very desperate and she did something that I know she regrets."
I Can't Go To Sleep
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Magical
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i will forever love kevin barnes for writing heimdelllsswhatever like a promethean curse. Come on chemicals!! Biggest insight i have ever received about my own depression! My brother was comparing them to elliott smith the other day upon hearing them for the first time. Must be why Jon Brion is such a fan!
Actually, PortionsForFoxes only has the more rumored part of the story. They were divorced, but now they're back to being boyfriend and girlfriend.
"My wife and I had a daughter. But then, kind of in an unconventional sort of way I reacted—well probably maybe very conventional—but I guess I reacted in a negative way to her pregnancy and having a daughter and stuff. At first I wasn't really capable of accepting it. It was really difficult because it's such a lifestyle shift. All of the sudden all these things are changing internally and externally, and it was totally freaking me out, and I was trying to balance being in a band and touring and all that and also being a father and being supportive to my wife—because I couldn't, if I'm going to be on tour, I can't be there with her, and if I'm going to be with her I can't be on tour—so it was conflict that I couldn't resolve, which eventually led to this intense depression period. And as a result of the depression, all of these paranoia and anxiety problems were popping up. And I just started totally freaking out, like a total collapse, which I've never ever gone through before. And eventually my wife and I split up, and we got a divorce, and she moved back to Norway, and I went through this hedonistic period, and all this turmoil and all this craziness was going on in my life. The record represents all that, that journey that I went through.
Luckily, I was able to come back and sort things out, and figure things out in my mind, so now, even though we're still divorced, we're living together. So, like, she's my girlfriend now. (laughs) You know, we're raising our daughter together—so the record kind of represents that. The first half of the record is like—you can kind of sense a lot of tension and turmoil and stuff, and then there's this 11-minute song that just is like a total just primal scream of a song, you know, like everything, it's just kind of like, just lay it out there. And after that, it's sort of a release. And then from that point on the record becomes a lot lighter and a lot happier sounding, sort of these weird little dance numbers. So yeah, in that way it sort of reflects what was going on in my life and how my life is a lot better. I feel a lot happier, and my relationships are better, and everyone's getting along, and things are working out in a cool way, and I'm super happy to be a father, super happy to be involved in the circle." Kevin Barnes said this.
no one said his wife's name was eva...
my name's eva haha i still love this song
This is (for now) my favorite track off their new CD. So awesome.
Oh my god, me too. Favorite off the new one. It appears to be about a girl who really liked one of them, and obviously it was not reciprocated.
Not every comment needs to be about what the song means, you're allowed to say you like the song and leave it at that y'know.
"you must be aware I'm not alone I got a tigress back at home and besides, you wouldn't know what to do with me"
Brilliance.
I would say that these need fixing:
"said it doesn't kill to try" ... the "said" should be "saying"
"and there's blue lights all around" ... the "and there's" should be "then"
"for a shock" is "what a shock"
It doesn't sound like "so a hot girl" either. It might be "saw her at go" ... I can't really tell on that one.