Emilie Autumn – Swallow

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  My Interpretation:It sounds to me like she's talking about a psychiatrist. "Swallowing" being swallowing pills. Taking her sea level down, being stabilizing her mood. Talking about trust, is talking about whether or not she can trust them. Filthy Victorians, etc. talks about how it's in her genes.

  Flag Formonitrileon May 15, 2012   Link

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  General Comment:I've read that it's about her bipolar disorder. Like she'll swallow the lithium pill if it will help her manic depression level go down so she can control it, but if it doesn't and she gets worse, she'll come back to haunt whoever told her to take it. She'll swallow, if it will help the "sea level" go down. The "sea level" is the illness, and if one drop of water is added (it gets worse) she'll drown (in the insanity), and then she'll come back to haunt the person. That's basically what she's saying.
  I sometimes feel that way too, really.

  Flag SideshowJazz1on March 05, 2012   Link

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  My Interpretation:Everyone wants to make this song a relationship. But are we all forgetting people that EA is ASEXUAL!!! So in my mind I feel its about her whole change of tune!!! Here's my interpretation.
  
  I'll tell the truth: all of my songs
  Are pretty much the fucking same
  (She feels that she can never be happy after the asylum and all of her songs are all very depressing but have hope)
  
  I'm not a faerie but I need
  More than this life so I became
  This creature representing more to you
  Than just another girl
  (Though she has moved on from her Enchant Era she isn't satisfied being normal, so she decided she needed to become the best musician she could, that way she could still feel like she was different.)
  
  And if I had a chance to change my mind
  I wouldn't for the world
  (She has accepted her institutionalization and has decided to move on with her life, because it has inspired a whole new music for her.)
  
  Twenty years
  Sinking slowly
  (This is her talking about her slowly declining depression that eventually led to her being suicidal.)
  
  Can I trust you
  But I don't want to
  (She has stated in her interviews that she wishes she wouldn't have told anyone about her depression, because she feels that people deal with it way to harshly and don't understand it at all.)
  
  I will swallow
  If it will help my sea level go down
  But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
  (She will accept this new look on life, but if she ever falls into her state of suicide again she is going back to the people she told to show them that mental institutions don't really help.)
  
  
  I don't want to be a legend
  Oh well that's a god damned lie - I do
  (Going back to the fact that she wants to be amazing and retain her faerie-like attitude.)
  
  To say I do this for the people
  I admit is hardly true
  (She is stating that she isn't trying to be the emo-chick girl. Though some people want her to be.)
  
  You tell me everything's all right
  As though it's something you've been through
  (She is saying that the people she told didn't understand her being suicidal at all.)
  
  You think this torment is romantic
  Well it's not except to you
  (The fans love her gloomy, dark sound, and she just wants to return to her happy light-hearted sound.)
  
  
  Low tide and high tea
  The oysters are waiting for me
  (Her true fans are still longing for her faerie-ness.)
  
  If I'm not there on time
  I'll send my emissary
  (Even though the fans want her to be a faerie she can't so she'll try to give them the closest thing she can.)
  
  If I photoshop you
  Out of every picture I could
  Go quietly quiet
  But would that do any good
  (If she could forget her previous self she would, but she can't. If she does, she will forget all the happy things in her life.)
  
  Will it hurt? No it won't
  Then what am I so afraid of
  (She's at war with herself about her wanting to forget her happiness, because she's seen all of the love she's received from her new fans.)
  
  Filthy victorians
  They made me what I'm made of
  (Her alter-ego in the institution was a Victorian girl. Victorians started the brutal institutions. If it weren't for them she wouldn't have had to change.)
  
  The brighter the light
  The darker the shadow
  (The more she looks back on her previous self, the more aware she becomes of her new self.)
  
  I don't need a minder
  I've made up my mind
  Go away
  (She's talking to her mind saying she wants this confusion to end. She just wants to be relatively normal.)
  
  **Reply please and and let me know what you feel about my interpretation. I'm also open to the belief that it's about her struggling with drugs possibly, but I can't make all the lyrics point to that.

  Flagged Hirateon March 01, 2012   Link

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    +1

    Thought I should comment--EA's asexuality doesn't automatically mean this song isn't about a relationship. Many asexuals are interested in and have relationships. (Like myself.) However, in the case of this song, I agree that it's likely not about a relationship. I think, like what others have pointed out, it's about her struggle with bipolar disorder, but I think your interpretation of the lyrics are quite valid as well.

    Flag arcanefoolon September 05, 2012  

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    I definitely agree with you! I believe that this song is focused very heavily on her time in the Asylum and how she feels about it; but also the people there, not only herself. Having to listen to what others tell her.

    Flag DistanceMakesUsStrongeron January 26, 2013  
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  General Comment:I think in this song she is getting conflicting advice. Some people are telling her to take medication. Some are trying to help her work through her issues without it. She can either swallow the meds or take a "deep deep breath" and lose her "minder". The lyrics alternate but come back to an ambiguous chorus reflective of the internal chaos of her mind that is the root of the problem.

  Flag anonymeeseon September 07, 2011   Link

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  My Interpretation:I myself think this song has nothing to do with a relationship, rather dealing with a depression and a battle with oneself whether to take medicine or not.
  
  Some of the lyrics (I'll tell the truth, all of my songs / Are pretty much the fucking same) is her looking down upon herself.
  
  "Twenty years, sinking slowly" might mean she's had this depression for a very long time and it's only getting worse. "Can I trust you / But I don't want to" is her talking to the doctor. She's sceptical, because so far nothing have worked
  
  In that case, 'swallow' would literally refer to swallowing, such as swallowing the pills. And she will only do it if they actually work (If it will make my sea level go down). But if she gets addicted to them, or they only make things worse, she will make things worse for the doctor(?) who gave her them.
  
  "I don't want to be a legend, oh well that's a goddamn lie / I do / To say I do this for the people / I admit it's heardly true" makes me think her depression is caused by being famous, she thinks her music is worth nothing and she hates herself for not being a legend
  
  "You tell me everything's alright / As though it's sometihng you've been through" Her doctor acts understanding, but she feels offended
  
  "You think this torment is romantic / Well it's not, except to you" She misinterprets his professional friendliness and is insulted when he tries to talk her out of the depression

  Flag PaperAngelon July 19, 2011   Link

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  General Comment:Ok, whoever put something sexual...uhhhh that's a big NO!
  
  I've read these lyrics over and over, and yes the title is SWALLOW, but that doesn't mean something sexual in this case!
  
  My understanding:
  
  This song is about trust. She feels she's been betrayed many times in the past, and she'll try to trust again, but she'll get back at them if they betray her.

  Flag glassjawpianoon July 17, 2011   Link

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    +1

    I agree with your interpretation, but I'm usually wrong so it ain't sayin' much:) Sorry.

    Flagged SweetCheeks2on March 01, 2012  
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  My Interpretation:I think it is talking about herself, if you listen to her Enchant album, (which I love, don't get me wrong) she was more faerie-like, (i.e wings) perhaps this song is her realizing that she can't be a real faerie and that she is becoming something else. Also, she had been abused throughout her life which I'm sure is what makes her say she is asexual. The part about "Filthy Victorians" reminded me a little of the theme of the Opheliac album, crazy, burlesque-y, victorian ladies. In victorian times, burlesque girls, whores, and prostitutes were a filthy subject. I think the whole "Swallow" part is referring to pills. She has serious manic-depression but keeps control of it with medication. Her "sea-level" could be the depression and or mania or emotions, there is a flood of it and the pills keep it down. "20 years, sinking slowly" well, she is 31 years old so....I don't know when she was abused/raped but perhaps it was about 20 years ago, and well, that surely triggered her manic depression severely and she was sinking.
  Overall, I believe the song is about her life and how and why she changed from a light-hearted faerie to a "filthy Victorian" and how that's been working for her.

  Flag GilliLeeon July 09, 2011   Link

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  My Interpretation:I know this is about her bi-poler but this song has a different meaning to me
  
  To me, this is about someone who's partner cheated on them, and is spinning them some far fetched story about why they did it and how're they're inoccent and shouldn't be dumped. She's becoming more and more stressed, and has decided to swallow his story just so she doesn't feel so overwhelmed any more: 'I will swallow, if it will help my sea level go down'. She's also saying that if he only ends up hurting her more she'll punish him: 'But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown'. She doesn't want to trust him, but at the same time she feels like she must to avoid being overwhelmed: 'Can I trust you? But I don't want to'. I think that someone might be trying to force her not to go back to the guy she's going back to, and to be with him, and is following her all the time, thinking it's romantic, but it's not: 'You think this torment is romantic, well it's not, execpt to you'. She's telling him that he she's made up her mind, and to stop trying to change it: 'I don't need a minder, I've made up my mind, go away'

  Flag AislingChildon July 03, 2011   Link

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  Song Meaning:Alright here's my take at it
  "I will swallow, if it will help my sea level go down"
  - I'm thinking of mental institutions where the patients are required to take pills. It's like "I'll take the pills if they'll make me better."
  "I'll take a deep deep breath"
  - I'll endure the side-effects
  "But ill come back to haunt you if I drown."
  - But if these pills are just making me feel worse, well, I'll come back to haunt you.

  Flag Tolinon June 11, 2011   Link

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• -1
  General Comment:Medicine cannot fix anything. Mental illness exists because people believe it does...and no pill can change that.

  Flagged anonymeeseon June 08, 2011   Link

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