I walk down my street at night
The city lights are cold and violent
I am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens
Even though the world's so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply smiling

The ghetto boys are catcalling me
As I pull my keys from my pocket
I wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective
Has any girl in history said "Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on"
Still, I always shock them when I answer, "Hi, my name's Amanda"

And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy

I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started
When I thought that to be strong, you must be flame retardant
And now to dress the wounds calls into question how authentic they are
There's always someong criticizing me: "She just likes playing hospital"
Lying in my bed, I remember what you said: "There's no such thing as accidents"

But you've got the headstone all ready, all drawn up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The headstone's all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying

The headstone's all ready, all carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The daisies all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying

But I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy

As I wake up to a cough, the fire burned the block but ironically
Stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly
And nobody deserves to die for you were awful adament
That if I didn't love you then you had just one alternative

And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it
But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet
And I'm not gonna match, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy



Lyrics submitted by kalelian


Ampersand song meanings
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32 Comments

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  • 0
    My Interpretation:I love this song! I love Amanda!
    Well I of course do not know what her personal meaning to this song is, however I know what it means to me :) It feels so very familiar to me, and only becomes more familiar as time goes by and my life unfolds. To me it is about someone walking home perhaps after a breakup or a bad fight. She simply see's and states her feelings on the subjects of how there are heros and there are the ppl that sit around and throw catcalls. How she isn't bothered by eigther but instead enigmatic. She then begains thinking of the troubled relationship. Perhaps how she used to think that being cold or distant caused others pain how it has caused her pain in the past. How her self abuse hasn't had perhaps the effect she wanted. Ppl haven't taken her seriously and she is beyond that kind of life. How she may have done that but she doesn't want that anymore especially in a relationship. she can never really be sucked into another persons personality because she refuses to lose her identity. She isn't afraid of her other halfs histerics and decided to leave that and go solo before she becomes a martyr. When she gets back home she sees the ppl who love her haven't been scathed by this turbulence in her life and she is glad that it never got that far. She won't drag them down with her. I find it a very strengthening and brave song. I love it!!
    Flag Moonteaon December 06, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:To me the line 'and I'm not gonna live my life on one side of ampersand' reads to me that shes not gonna just gonna do same the same thing all the time and get more out of life.
    There is always something more to a sentence when a person uses an ampersand in it and therefore I think, living on one side of an amperside would be living life without 'going to the other side' finding that extra bit of the sentence in life.

    I could be wrong, just an idea.
    Either way, I love this song :D
    Flag ChezFluxon August 09, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:The line "no such thing as accidents"- nothing to do with the "accidents" in Girl Anachronism I don't think- she's implying that the fire was started deliberately by the person she's singing about, in order to kill her. Or at least she's wondering if that's the case- "lying in my bed I remember what you said...."

    S/he wants Amanda dead, says there's no such thing as accidents, and then there's this fire.
    Flag wkapon June 21, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I believe that the song has a hint of domestic violence.......I am surprised not to have seen a comment about such yet.
    Flag jericrlon May 03, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:For me this song reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend I was considering dating. We'd been family friends for 10 years and went to a wedding of a mutual friend together. His mother introduced me to the bride's mother as "This is (guy) and (guy's) girlfriend." She didn't even tell her my name. It hit me so hard because I had ceased to have an identity of my own in her eyes. I was merely an extension of her son. If I dated him I would just be "The great so and so's &" despite all my own accomplishments. I told him we couldn't date. That was the end of it right there and he asked why. I told him because I needed to be my own person not your "&".
    Flag Inueon April 13, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:First off, love you Amanda :D

    This song really sticks with me.
    The beginning has really good visual imagery, walking at night through the city hearing sirens nearby. And the feeling of reassurance knowing that there is still some good left in the world, people that are willing to die to save the lives of others.

    It's true what she says about the catcalls. I wonder if any of them actually think they may pick up some girl by whistling and yelling at her. But who knows..it may work. Maybe they do it for amusement. But of course they probably are really shocked when a girl introduces herself to them. Like wow! It actually worked?! No way!...

    I want to agree with her. One of my biggest fear has always been settling down with someone and always being him&her. Not that love doesn't seem like a wonderful thing to be shared with someone. Just that.. maybe it wouldn't last. Maybe we couldn't be happy forever and maybe one of us would want to cling on to the other forever, hoping that they wouldn't leave.

    "I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started
    When I thought that to be strong, you must be flame retardant."
    I like that line. I've always felt like strength comes through repelling pain and not being affected by it. But obviously the wounds are always lingering there and when the time finally comes to mend them, it makes us (and others) question how real they are. Maybe that girl just likes the attention, maybe she wants to be the weak kid that others can pity.

    The last part of the song is rather sad. It's all this ampersand nonsense coming true. One person becomes obsessively in love with the other and has this whole "together forever, you & me" mentality. But the other person doesn't feel the same way, doesn't love him quite the same. So he "just has one alternative". He attempts to kill her by burning down her building (possibly also tries to kill himself). But the plan backfires and we see this woman saying that she does want love and would be willing to risk her life for love but she isn't a juliet. She isn't going to kill herself for a man and she has no intention of becoming a tragic love story. She wants love, the real kind where two people deeply care about eachother rather than this crazed death threat madness. So she decides that she isn't going to match him and his craziness and that she won't stay to watch him anymore because she doesn't want that life.

    Very good song. It's a serious issue that many couples face where things get out of control because of obsessive love.
    Flag adogcalledspicyon April 11, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Hmm, when Amanda is talking about playing hospitals I think she is talking about being the nurse/doctor, not the patient. This whole song she is strong and independent, not being looked after by others. Her lover is the patient.
    maybe.
    Flag Maidenizzyon September 05, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I think it means she just doesn't want to fall in love, i.e. not be on the other side of an ampersand (&), like she doesn't want to be part of 'Amanda & Joe' or whatever.
    Flag ramshackledayparadeon July 20, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I think she is telling an anecdote about a fire in Boston and using fire-related metaphors to describe her thoughts about romance. She thought she had to be "flame retardant" meaning not fall in love, that sort of thing. She doesn't want to be on one side of an ampersand because she is too independent, but her lover already thinks of them as being practically married, he has picked out the headstones for their graves when they are buried next to each other. Great song.
    Flag emueyeson July 19, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Oh. Oh my God. Amanda, I love you. Can you see the similarities between songs? Will? Coin-Operated Boy? She can't get close to anyone. I am exactly the same.
    Flag shutitoffon May 11, 2008   Link

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