I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said "Thanks can I follow you?"
Now it's up the stairs
And out of view, no prying eyes
I poured some wine
When I asked your name,
You asked the time

Now it's 2 o'clock
The club is closed
We're up the block
Your hands on me,
Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Tryin to keep the words from comin out
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been here before

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought I'd meet him here
But I'm not sure
I got the money if you got the time
You said it feels good
I said, "I'll give it a try"

Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
So let's take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors, with bad habits
Some sad singers
They just play tragic
And the phone's ringin'
And the band's leavin'
Let's just keep touching
Let's just, keep on singing

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Yea, where's the kid with the chemicals?
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need a meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
But you

You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do
Then hurt me
Then hurt me

Didn't hurt me
It didn't hurt me
It didn't hurt me
It didn't hurt me
It didn't hurt me



Lyrics submitted by nicchikk, edited by selenijum

Track duration: 04:50

"Lover I Don't Have to Love" as written by Oberst

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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Lover I Don't Have To Love song meanings
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14 Comments

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  • 0
    My Interpretation:I picked you out of a crowd and talked to you. Said I liked your shoes. You said "Thanks can I follow you?" Now it's up the stairs and out of view, no prying eyes. I poured some wine. When I asked your name, you asked the time.

    I think she is saying that she thought this guy was hot so she found a way to compliment him and he immediately wanted to hook up with her. So they went somewhere that no one would be able to see. And when she tried to get to know him a little more, he isn't interested in that kind of a "relationship".

    ----

    Now it's 2 o'clock. The club is closed. We're up the block. Your hands on me, Pressing hard against your jeans Your tongue in my mouth. Trying to keep the words from coming out. You didn't care to know. Who else may have been here before

    They have been drinking and are probably drunk since it is 2am. The guy is initiating the sexual acts and doesn't care who has hooked up with her before him.

    -----

    I want a lover I don't have to love. I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk Where's the kid with the chemicals? I thought I'd meet him here. But I'm not sure. I got the money if you got the time. You said it feels good. I said, "I'll give it a try"

    She wants someone to hook up with, with out the strings. Because below she says, "Love is an excuse to get hurt".
    Now that the guy has denied her attempt at getting to know him (in the first verse), I think she is trying to act like she didn't want to know him that way anyway, by saying "so drunk he doesn't talk".
    She might've originally wanted to meet up with a drug dealer, but is going to use sex as a drug instead. Maybe she has a sex addiction? I think by him saying "it feels good" meaning the sex, not a drug they are going to take. So she is going to hook up with him by saying "i'll give it a try" meaning the sex.

    -----

    I'll meet up with the band in the morning. Bad actors, with bad habits. Some sad singers. They just play tragic. And the phone's ringin'. And the band's leavin'. Let's just keep touching

    She is leaving her friends to drunkenly go home with this guy.
    I'm not really sure where she is going with the bad actors and singers part.
    In the morning she is getting a call from the band and they are leaving. So she has to leave and is telling the guy to keep in touch with her.
    -----

    I want a lover I don't have to love. I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk. Yea, where's the kid with the chemicals? I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
    I need a meaning I can memorize. The kind I have always seems to slip my mind But you

    Same as above for the first half. "I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full" is like she is always craving sex and can't get enough of it. And she wants this guy to be good in bed, or just be someone she can't forget. That maybe everyone else she has hooked up with has been mediocre and not worthy of her time anymore.

    -----

    Love's an excuse to get hurt. And to hurt. Do you like to hurt? I do, I do. Then hurt me. Then hurt me. Didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt me.

    I think she doesn't want to love anyone. Or is TELLING herself she doesn't want to love anyone. Because when you love someone , you get hurt and you hurt others. I think that she is trying to act tough on the outside. Basically saying if it doesn't "work out" with this guy, it doesn't matter because it was only sex anyway. I think on the inside she is trying to convince herself of that by repeating "it didn't hurt anyway".


    Oh and I love this version. It is 1000x better than the Bright Eyes version.
    Also, the first time I heard it was today while watching old episodes of The O.C.
    Flag lindsayphotoon November 30, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I love this song, it's so sexy!
    This song is about finding someone who you are sexually attracted to, so you start sleeping together, getting drunk and taking drugs. Your obviously just sick of everything and want to escape with these things. and even when he tries to hurt her, she doesn't give a fuck
    Flag priscila17on August 06, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:This version sucks. Bright Eyes for the win.
    Flag makencheezieon April 27, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:i think this song kinda works because bettie serveert has an unusal voice much like conor does, but i do much prefer the original. i'm not liking the slight change in the lyrics either really :/ still bright eyes for mee.x
    Flag almostforeverxon March 28, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I personally like it much more when its sung by Conor. I liked the Bright Eyes version much more, then again, I'm a hardcore Bright Eyes fan. And she doesn't sing the exact lryics and tune, witch annoyed me at first, it grew on me a bit. I like this version too, I like the female voice, it gives a different yet still kinda satisfying feel to it. But I'm still with loving Bright Eyes!
    Flag DreamGeniuson June 27, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:this song is amazing, period.
    i heard it on the OC for the first time, and that one scene that it played in was orgasmic, zomg
    that guy is hawtttt!
    Flag saraXkillson February 15, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I like both versions too. I agree with nicchikk about the "it didn't hurt me" part. Definitely makes the point that girls sometimes just want a no strings attached kind of encounter.
    Flag strangersatelliteon April 06, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Generally I like this one more; I think there's more emotion behind the lyrics. It's something to do with the pauses I think. I don't really like Bright Eyes as I think their lyrics are great but the meaning and emotion seems to get lost a little when it's sung.

    One thing I really don't like though is the change from "You didn't care to know/ Who else may have been you before" to "You didn't care to know/ Who else may have been HERE before". I know it's a really minor change but I feel like it makes a lot of difference. It turns the line into a cliche whereas before it really emphasised the idea of meaningless sex with the image of repetition and all these girls blending into one.
    Flag magical_miaon March 19, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I do like both versions, but there is just something about this one that makes me prefer it - I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's beacuse the female voice makes it sound more powerful beacuse it isn't cliched, whereas for a guy to want to hook up for just sex is kinda stereotypical - anyway, amazing song, really fitted well within the OC episode that it was featured in.
    Flag butterflykiss84on December 15, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I think it's ok as a song, but nothing can top the original.

    Something I find rather amusing is that in the original chorus it goes "i want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck" and the second part is "i want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk." In this version, it's only "i want a boy...".
    Flag louderthanyouon November 11, 2006   Link

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