So, so cold
So tired...

I hate myself more than I ever let on
I'm burnt out at 22
I have lived too fast
And I loved too much
And I'll die too young
But I chose this cup that I drank from
Knew what I was getting into
But I couldn't let out what I had to keep in
I'm ashamed of myself
And unspeakable sins that I committed and...

I've made mistakes
But I'll find my way
There's no explaination for
The things I've failed at before
They can't hold my hand

It just hurts to be a man
Through the tortures of the damned
Of the damned...

If I only had an axe
I'd sever the ties I've made with the world
Maybe I could be a stranger in a strange place
If I start now maybe I can be saved
If I only had a mask
I'd cover these bleeding eyes
They're bloodshot now, but they'll be black by dawn
If I wake up now I can be pure again

I've made mistakes
But I'll find my way
No explaination for
The things I failed at before
They can't hold my hand

It just hurts to be a man
Though the tortures of the damned

Look at me now I'm on the tracks with my back
Towards the last train leaving town (x4)

I've made mistake
But I'll find my way
There's no explaination for
The things I've failed at before
They can't hold my hand

It just hurts to be a man
Through the tortures of the damned(x2)



Lyrics submitted by MySensesHavFailed35

Track duration: 03:29


Tortures Of The Damned song meanings
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24 Comments

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  • 0
    General Comment:It actually has to do with A Clockwork Orange. He wrote it based off that movie.
    Flag WhatNeverWason February 22, 2010   Link
  • +1
    General Comment:"look at me now I'm on the tracks with my back toward the last train leaving town"- he realizes that he has to stay and can't run away from his problems, he could move to anywhere in the world but he would always have the guilt of the things that he has done (or hasn't done) in his past.
    "They're bloodshot now but they'll be black by dawn if I wake up i can be pure again"-he was drunk all night and he will be hungover in the morning and if only he could wake up and realize that he is not alone and people care about him then he could start over and be the man that he used to be.
    Flag YouSmileInYourSleepon March 09, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:"I hate myself more than I've ever lead on. I'm burnt out at twenty-two. I've lived to fast, I loved too much and I'll too young, but I chose this cup that I drank from."
    He's pretty much just beating himself up for the decisions he made and the cup is a figure of speech for his decisions.

    "Knew what I was getting into, but I couldn't let out what I had to keep in I'm ashamed of myself and unspeakable sins that I've committed and..."
    He was aware of the things he was doing. It's rather self-explanatory.

    "I've made mistakes, but I'll find my way. No explanation for the things I've failed at before. They can't hold my hand."
    He has no excuses. Also, he feels like even though the people that care about him are trying to point him in the right direction, but even when you lead a horse to water you can't force them to drink.

    "It just hurts to be a man, through the tortures of the damned."
    It's hard to man-up to the things and people he's wronged.

    "If I only had an axe, I'd sever the ties I've made with the world. Maybe, I could be a stranger in a strange place. If I start now, maybe I can be saved."
    Cutting tie with all the people/places that have given him a bad reputation and maybe if he acts quickly enough he can be forgiven.

    "If I only had a mask, I'd cover these bleeding eyes. They're bloodshot now, but they'll be black by dawn. If I wake up now I can be pure again."
    I don't know what the whole reference to bleeding eyes is about, but by waking up he means coming back to reality.

    "Look at me now, I'm on the track with my back toward the last train leaving town."
    Refusing to run away from his problems.
    Flag ambivalenton April 27, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:FUCKING AMAZING.
    thats all i have to say. x
    Flag heidipwnsxon March 06, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:"I've made mistakes
    But I'll find my way"

    I could've sworn that he said "but I'll find my wings".
    Flag Renxxon November 26, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:"If I only had a mask
    I'd cover these bleeding eyes"


    That part is so beautiful!!!!!!
    I agree with what everyone else about the song. Definetly about fucking up and drinking and seeing your life fall to pieces.

    "Look at me now I'm on the tracks with my back
    Towards the last train leaving town "
    Love It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Woo! go Bayside!
    Flag ValentinaMandarinaon November 16, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Eh, I relate it to alcoholism... but I think that it can easily be related to other things... just in general. Ha... that was real specific. xsigh.
    Flag xmakesherflyxon August 06, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I don't think it's connected to Alcoholism at all really. I think it's more in a figurative cup, in a sense. I think it's more a reference to different choices he's made in his life then to alcoholism. That's what I got when I first heard this song. (This and Cold & Blue & Lifeless got me into Bayside)
    Flag blazedinacoffinon July 23, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I think the song isn't about what most people have been saying. i just watched a clockwork orange & noticed the quote "tortures of the damned" and looked up the lyrics after watching the movie & it seems to me like his lyrics are following the movie, like he can relate to it or something.

    "I hate myself more than I ever let on
    I'm burnt out at 22
    I have lived too fast
    And I loved too much
    And I'll die too young
    But I chose this cup that I drank from
    Knew what I was getting into
    But I couldn't let out what I had to keep in
    I'm ashamed of myself
    And unspeakable sins that I committed and..."

    In the movie, the main character commits horrible acts of evil, but eventually is tricked into feeling guilty about the things he did. There is a scene in the movie where he drinks a cup, even though he felt "...that any second something terrible is going to happen to..." him.

    "I've made mistakes
    But I'll find my way
    There's no explaination for
    The things I've failed at before
    They can't hold my hand"

    He feels lost and hopeless, nauseated and confused. People try to control him and gang up on him, and in a way, he deserves it. Underneath that evil exterior lies a naive boy who does not understand that he is being manipulated to be good. The goodness does not come from within him.

    "It just hurts to be a man
    Through the tortures of the damned
    Of the damned..."

    He is hurting because of the way he is forced into feeling about his actions. In one of the hospital scenes he says, "I've suffered the tortures of the damned, sir."

    "If I only had an axe
    I'd sever the ties I've made with the world
    Maybe I could be a stranger in a strange place
    If I start now maybe I can be saved
    If I only had a mask
    I'd cover these bleeding eyes
    They're bloodshot now, but they'll be black by dawn
    If I wake up now I can be pure again"

    When he is in "a concentration camp," they force him to watch the things he did in the form of a movie. His eyes held open by tools so they cannot close. When watching his crimes, he becomes violently sick because of the drugs being injected into him. He does not want to see them anymore, nor does he enjoy the song he once loved to hear so much.

    "Look at me now I'm on the tracks with my back
    Towards the last train leaving town "

    I think this might symbolize the moment when he wants to leave the world. The moment when he jumps out the window, because in that moment, he feels so helpless, so hopeless.
    Flag brandiii123on May 06, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Awesome song!
    Bayside is an awesome band!
    My favorite band!
    Rock on Bayside!
    Flag Leblancon March 11, 2007   Link

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