What's up directors? Grab your knives!
It's time to take all all of the lives
Of the people who cannot see the somnolent genius of Tarkovsky

Come on authors grab your guns!
It's time to murder everyone who has never heard of Apollinaire
Send them all to hell it's only fair

Cast them all into the flames if they don't know any names
Of the principles of Arte Povera
Or are unfamiliar with le serpent mascara
That's right mascara snake!!!

Come on painters alive or dead
Give all the cretins a boot to the head
If they don't extoll convincingly
Tempered Elan era Kandinsky

Throw them all into a well if they cannot tell
An Arto Parv feast of repitition from a Schoenburg 12 tone composition

Come on artists the day is here
And your mission is very clear
Put an end to the bourgoussie
And death to everyone who's never heard of me



Lyrics submitted by constant

Track duration: 03:24

"Art Snob Solutions" as written by Kevin Barnes

Lyrics © BUG MUSIC

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Art Snob Solutions song meanings
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45 Comments

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  • 0
    General Comment:Yeah, I was about as surprised that the Mascara Snake reference was the only one a lot of people didn't get, because if you're listening to "indie" like this, I find you're much more likely to run into somebody amazed that you haven't heard Trout Mask Replica (Captain Beefheart, highly not recommended to non-art snobs) than that you aren't familiar with Arvo Part.
    Flag DrRoyon July 05, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:so lol
    Flag artsluton June 19, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:the song is telling about Art Snob's attitudes. here is an example of an Art Snob attitude: You are a huge Beatles fan. You're in love with them. So you're talking to someone about the Beatles. And they say, "I've never heard of the Beatles. Are they good?" What would you're reaction be? you would probably be shocked, flabergasted, and maybe, you might warp it into a personal insult.

    This is how Art Snobs feel about people who aren't either fellow Art Snobs, Artists, Musicians, Art History Buffs, Art Collecters, and et cetera. so this is what this song is about. Everyone, grab your knives, we're gonna kill all the people who don't know anything about art!

















    .
    Flag Seezleon May 24, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Two Frunobulaxes! Awesome. I was going to mention the Beefheart thing, but my doppelganger seems to have beaten me to it by quite some months. I've been a fan of the Captain longer than oM, and chuckled knowingly when I first heard this song when it came out on the ST bonus disc.
    Flag Frunobulaxon November 12, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General Comment:Also, I just recently realized they're saying "Boot to the head"
    can anyone agree with me that they're referencing The Frantics' sketch of the same name?
    Flag laurelmon October 05, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:man i was gonna say the mascara snake thing too
    i was listening to ella guru and it said mascara snake and i was like WAIT THEY REFERENCED MASCARA SNAKE IN ART SNOB SOLUTIONS but then i read that someone else had gotten there first.
    Flag thenewsceneon March 27, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Today I was leaning against the fridge in the bakery I work in, and I looked at my hand, and I was like, damn. I can make this hand move whenever I want it to. And to prove it, I made a circle in the air. And then I noticed that I was breathing, and realized that the air was being converted to carbon dioxide in my lungs. And I thought damn, I'm doing that. And I sat like that for a good two minutes, just breathing, just moving my left hand. And I thought to myself, damn, I'm alive.
    Flag verbosityon March 20, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I love this song so much. This and The Past is a Grotesque Animal are my two favorite Of Montreal songs.

    A word about 12-tone:
    Some have described it earlier, accurately, but not completely understandable to a non-music person. From what I remember from music theory, 12-tone is a musical practice in which one cannot repeat one of any of the 12 chromatic tones until all 12 have been played. The effect is, as someone said before, generally completely horrible. Das Mondschein (spelling?) is a classic example, and I think everyone in my Music Theory class cringed upon hearing the first notes.

    I believe 12-tone was a response to the horrors of the first world war? But, I'm no expert! haha

    Anyways this song is ridiculously ironic, seeing as only a complete art snob would get all of it (come on, like EVERYONE knows EVERY REFERENCE?) and yet he moques all snobbery. =)
    Flag laurelmon November 06, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:this song is awesome

    "And death to everyone who’s never heard of me"
    haha thats the truth, these guys are great
    Flag thisisgranton September 10, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:all of those people here who are berating those discussing all of the references in this song really need to cool it a bit. I mean, that's why i came here...because the lyrics made me curious and i wanted to know what exactly was referenced in the song. This wouldn't be very effective if nobody would admit to knowing the reference. and there was only like, one post here that i thought sounded conceited. so c'mon.
    Flag snethamonon August 14, 2007   Link

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