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I'm sitting on a citadel
contemplating life
making a point to waste my time
I'm walking on clouds of white
Chorus
What if I fall?
What if I don't?
What if I never make it home?
What if I bleed?
What if I break,
and I find that I can't take
the city below the citadel, holding my own hand?
And I'm
breaking on the balcony
Breaking window panes
Killing the pain of broken hearts
I'm walking on clouds
Walking on stars
(Chorus)
I'm holding on to something
It's keeping me from jumping
I'm so afraid to go it alone
And holding up this fortress
with imaginary forces
longing for a life down below
(Chorus)
contemplating life
making a point to waste my time
I'm walking on clouds of white
Chorus
What if I fall?
What if I don't?
What if I never make it home?
What if I bleed?
What if I break,
and I find that I can't take
the city below the citadel, holding my own hand?
And I'm
breaking on the balcony
Breaking window panes
Killing the pain of broken hearts
I'm walking on clouds
Walking on stars
(Chorus)
I'm holding on to something
It's keeping me from jumping
I'm so afraid to go it alone
And holding up this fortress
with imaginary forces
longing for a life down below
(Chorus)
Lyrics submitted by Ceres
Track duration: 02:47
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It's keeping me from jumping
I'm so afraid to go it alone
And holding up this fortress
with imaginary forces
longing for a life down below"
I am going to agree with others here... it is about someone wanting to break off a long term relationship but they are scared to be alone.
The citadel represents where she is in her life at the time of the song. She's "sitting" on this citadel, above a "city" (which represents the realization of her dreams) but she's afraid to go down there because of her fears outlined in the chorus:
-What if she falls or fails at reaching her dreams?
-What if she is actually successful at what she does? Sometimes that's scarier than failing.
-What if she "never makes it home" or loses herself in the process of finding success?
-What if she "bleeds" or "breaks" or has a rough road to success, not necessarily failing all together but having trouble getting to her dreams?
-What if she "finds that she can't take the city below the citadel"? What if she becomes successful but realizes it's not for her?
I think this song for Anna represents her fear of becoming a successful music artist, but it can really represent anyone's fears of reaching for, failing to met, or successfully getting to their dreams.
"I'm so afraid to go it alone"I think it's just about how she's just really scared of going out into the world all by herself("Holding my own hand") and she's just worried about what will happen
and when she says "longing for a life down below" I THINK she's talking about how she wants to break free and be on her own, but at the same time she IS scared.
But that's just how I hear it...
I think this song is about her not wanting to go about life on her own, not necessarily from a relationship with a boyfriend/friend whatever, but kind of like leaving home after highschool. Her protective "citadel", her home where she's provided for, is going to be taken away when she's on her own and she's scared of the things that life has ahead of her, which is the "city below the citadel."
It could also hint on suicide in the last verse, not saying directly she's going to but just saying she doesn't know if she can make it and what if it comes down to that.
To me, this song is about wanting to do something new... out of her comfort zone. And like, there's been one person who has always been with her, and she doesn't know if she can do it without them. It could either be because they had a falling out, or they passed away, or something else. But the person who was her strength is suddenly not around. Or perhaps if she takes this risk, they won't be with her. So although she wants to do something new, she's still afraid to do it alone. She's stuck in her safe place, because she doesn't want to lose it, but she is still wondering what her life would be like if she tried something new.
It makes me think of moving away to college. Like, being without all my friends and family who have always been there. I've lived in the same place my entire life, and now it's time for something new. I'm excited and can't wait, but there's still a part of me who is afraid to leave a place so comfortable.
"What if I fall, What if I don't?"
We're so worried about falling, not succeeding. What if we DON'T fall, and we get what we want? What are we going to do with it?
Her Citadel is a place that protects her from harsh reality. When she contemplates jumping, it's thinking about whether she wants to leave the safety of her citadel in the clouds to face reality. She is afraid if she leaves her citadel she will be hurt by the harsh realities of the world, like heart break and rejection. Thats why she is wasting her time, she doesn't want to make the jump.