So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I had a dream
Crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin came over
Baby-sat all four of my kids
Then in my dream
I told the doctor off
He said if you don't want to do it
Then you don't have to do it
He said the truth is
You'll be okay, anyway
Then in my dream
Crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin and the doctor
Went and had a talk with my boss
Something about insurance policies
They kept the door closed at all times
I couldn't hear or see
When they came out they said
You'll be okay, anyway
And I smiled cause I'd known it all along.
No thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you
I don't have to pay for this shit
I couldn't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo
And on any given day I'd rather ride a limousine
No thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you
I ain't about to to die like this
I couldn't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo
And besides this shit is making me tired
It's making me tired
It's making me tired
You know I plan to retire some day,
And I'm gonna go out in style
Go out in style
This shit it's making me tired
It's making me tired
It's making me tired
I'm-a gonna go out in style go out in style
When I woke up
My kids were being quiet
I knew it was a dream right away
I called the limousine company
Then I got dressed
I dressed the kids as well
The limousine pulled in
And we piled in
The doctor he asked which way we were headed
I said, Sir, let's just go west and he listened obediently,
Sophie only wants to listen to radio BBC
Michael sat on my knees and whispered to me
All about the meanies
Jacqueline was being such a big girl
With her cup of tea looking out of the window
And Barbara
She looks just like my mom
Oh my, Barbara
She looks so much like my mom
No thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you
I don't have to pay for this shit
I couldn't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo
And on any given day I'd rather ride a limousine
No thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you
I ain't about to die like this
I couldn't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo
And besides this shit is making me tired
It's making me tired
It'smaking me die
You know I plan to retire some day,
And I'm-a gonna go out in style
Go out in style
This shit it's making me tired
It's making me tired
It's making me tired
I'm-a gonna go out in style go out in style
Style
Style
Style
Style.
Style
Style
Style
Style.
I had a dream
Crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin came over and
Baby-sat all four of my kids
I had a dream
Crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin came over and
Baby-sat all four of my kids
Sophie only want to tune us into radio BBC
Michael sat on my knees and whispered to me
All about the meanie
Jacqueline was being such a big girl
With her cup of tea looking out of the window
And Barbara
She looks just like my mom
Oh my god, Barbara
She looks so much like my mom
Oh my god, Barbara
She looks so much just like my mom
Crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin came over
Baby-sat all four of my kids
Then in my dream
I told the doctor off
He said if you don't want to do it
Then you don't have to do it
He said the truth is
You'll be okay, anyway
Then in my dream
Crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin and the doctor
Went and had a talk with my boss
Something about insurance policies
They kept the door closed at all times
I couldn't hear or see
When they came out they said
You'll be okay, anyway
And I smiled cause I'd known it all along.
No thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you
I don't have to pay for this shit
I couldn't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo
And on any given day I'd rather ride a limousine
No thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you
I ain't about to to die like this
I couldn't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo
And besides this shit is making me tired
It's making me tired
It's making me tired
You know I plan to retire some day,
And I'm gonna go out in style
Go out in style
This shit it's making me tired
It's making me tired
It's making me tired
I'm-a gonna go out in style go out in style
When I woke up
My kids were being quiet
I knew it was a dream right away
I called the limousine company
Then I got dressed
I dressed the kids as well
The limousine pulled in
And we piled in
The doctor he asked which way we were headed
I said, Sir, let's just go west and he listened obediently,
Sophie only wants to listen to radio BBC
Michael sat on my knees and whispered to me
All about the meanies
Jacqueline was being such a big girl
With her cup of tea looking out of the window
And Barbara
She looks just like my mom
Oh my, Barbara
She looks so much like my mom
No thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you
I don't have to pay for this shit
I couldn't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo
And on any given day I'd rather ride a limousine
No thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you
I ain't about to die like this
I couldn't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo
And besides this shit is making me tired
It's making me tired
It'smaking me die
You know I plan to retire some day,
And I'm-a gonna go out in style
Go out in style
This shit it's making me tired
It's making me tired
It's making me tired
I'm-a gonna go out in style go out in style
Style
Style
Style
Style.
Style
Style
Style
Style.
I had a dream
Crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin came over and
Baby-sat all four of my kids
I had a dream
Crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin came over and
Baby-sat all four of my kids
Sophie only want to tune us into radio BBC
Michael sat on my knees and whispered to me
All about the meanie
Jacqueline was being such a big girl
With her cup of tea looking out of the window
And Barbara
She looks just like my mom
Oh my god, Barbara
She looks so much like my mom
Oh my god, Barbara
She looks so much just like my mom
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"Oh my god, Barbara, she looks so much just like my mom."
I think this line is one of the saddest I've ever heard sung. The entire song is somewhat sad, seems to be about a woman coming to terms with her death, and when she begins talking about her children, it just kills me. The way she sings it makes me think her mother is most certainly already dead, and seeing the face of the woman who once protected her in the young girl she is supposed to be protecting is such a powerful image. If she is to die, she will be leaving her four children behind, and lingering on the fact that Barbara looks like her mother (the way it's sung, with the "oh my god" is heart wrenching) seems to insinuate that these children, soon to be without a mother, will have to become mothers to themselves.
I cry just thinking about it.