So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
The early cars
Already are
Drawing deep breaths past my door
And last night's phrases
Sick with lack of basis
Are still writhing on my floor
And it doesn't seem fair
That your wicked words should work
In holding me down
And it doesn't seem right
To take information
Given at close range
For the gag
And the bind
And the ammunition round
Conversation once colored by esteem
Became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood
Took a vacation, my palate got clean
Now I can taste your agenda
While you're spitting your cud
And it doesn't make sense
I should fall for the kingcraft
of a meritless crown
No, it doesn't seem right
To take information
Given at close range
For the gag
And the bind
And the ammunition round
This is not about love!
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out
This is not about love!
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache!
"What is this posture
I have to stare at?"
That's what he said when I was sittin' up straight!
Change the name of the game
'Cause he lost
He knew he was wrong but he knew it too late.
But I'm not being fair
'Cause I chose to listen to that filthy mouth
But I'd like to choose right,
Take all the things that I said that he stole,
Put 'em in a sack
Swing 'em over your shoulder
Turn on my heels
Step out of this sight
Try to live in a lovelier light
This is not about love!
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
This is not about love!
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache...
Already are
Drawing deep breaths past my door
And last night's phrases
Sick with lack of basis
Are still writhing on my floor
And it doesn't seem fair
That your wicked words should work
In holding me down
And it doesn't seem right
To take information
Given at close range
For the gag
And the bind
And the ammunition round
Conversation once colored by esteem
Became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood
Took a vacation, my palate got clean
Now I can taste your agenda
While you're spitting your cud
And it doesn't make sense
I should fall for the kingcraft
of a meritless crown
No, it doesn't seem right
To take information
Given at close range
For the gag
And the bind
And the ammunition round
This is not about love!
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out
This is not about love!
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache!
"What is this posture
I have to stare at?"
That's what he said when I was sittin' up straight!
Change the name of the game
'Cause he lost
He knew he was wrong but he knew it too late.
But I'm not being fair
'Cause I chose to listen to that filthy mouth
But I'd like to choose right,
Take all the things that I said that he stole,
Put 'em in a sack
Swing 'em over your shoulder
Turn on my heels
Step out of this sight
Try to live in a lovelier light
This is not about love!
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
This is not about love!
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache...
Lyrics submitted by schmuun, edited by earTOtheGround
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She's refering to herself with that comment, which I think is "ache". She's saying she misses falling in and being in love wholesale as she's got older and more jaded. The dizzy hieghts no longer come.