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it is my birthday
it is a new year
i should be happy
that i am still here
light up a new joint
put on an old shirt
try to remember
forget how my brain works
but i could read a book
a night before this year
i knew every word
their definitions clear
but now in stealth
i check thesaurus
it's become my guilty mistress
so i heave my breath at burning wax
cause i know that spark ain't coming back
it is my birthday
i've got all my friends here
they haven't been talking as of lately
they've all found new bro's and babies
i have smoked away my pride
there is nothing but the cinders of it inside
but i believed in more than nothingness last year
and under every quiet failure it's still here
buried breathing under 18 years
of tragedy and fear
if i could crawl my way out of this grave
just think of all the time i'd save
the stereo's playing the same old songs
but we still hum along
and in no time we'll be spread
across the earth
donning business suits to show
the faceless master what we're worth
from our huggies to armani
and it all seems so rehearsed
it is a new year
i should be happy
that i am still here
light up a new joint
put on an old shirt
try to remember
forget how my brain works
but i could read a book
a night before this year
i knew every word
their definitions clear
but now in stealth
i check thesaurus
it's become my guilty mistress
so i heave my breath at burning wax
cause i know that spark ain't coming back
it is my birthday
i've got all my friends here
they haven't been talking as of lately
they've all found new bro's and babies
i have smoked away my pride
there is nothing but the cinders of it inside
but i believed in more than nothingness last year
and under every quiet failure it's still here
buried breathing under 18 years
of tragedy and fear
if i could crawl my way out of this grave
just think of all the time i'd save
the stereo's playing the same old songs
but we still hum along
and in no time we'll be spread
across the earth
donning business suits to show
the faceless master what we're worth
from our huggies to armani
and it all seems so rehearsed
Lyrics submitted by AllStarMe
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it is a new year
i should be happy
that i am still here
light up a new joint
put on an old shirt
try to remember
forget how my brain works"
He realizes he's getting older, so he turns to what's familiar. Drugs, clothes.. He's trying to be happy about moving on but he's turning to his past. And the reference isn't about weed. It's about heroin. We all know Max Bemis was addicted to Heroin, don't deny it... He's spent many times in and out of treatment facilities for it. BTW youngings, heroin can be smoked. And yes! Even in a joint form! There is a chance that it was about weed. I honestly think that it was written in reference to heroin, especially considering the fact that a short time later The Church Channel was released, which is about his time in a treatment facility. Anyways...
but i could read a book
a night before this year
i knew every word
their definitions clear
but now in stealth
i check thesaurus
it's become my guilty mistress
He's talking about he used to be quite smart, but he's resorted to using a thesaurus to help him seem smarter than he is to cover his drug use.
it is my birthday
i've got all my friends here
they haven't been talking as of lately
they've all found new bro's and babies
i have smoked away my pride
there is nothing but the cinders of it inside
but i believed in more than nothingness last year
and under every quiet failure it's still here
buried breathing under 18 years
of tragedy and fear
if i could crawl my way out of this grave
just think of all the time i'd save
He threw a party gathering all his friends, only to realize they've moved on from him while he's been on drugs. He realizes his drugs have destroyed himself and his friendships, but he hasn't lost touch with his dreams and goals. The last two lines in the line reference his idea to try and get clean.
the stereo's playing the same old songs
but we still hum along
Even though all of him and his friends have gone their separate ways, they still have some old things they fall back on to keep in some contact.
and in no time we'll be spread
across the earth
donning business suits to show
the faceless master what we're worth
from our huggies to armani
and it all seems so rehearsed
In the end he figures that they all end up in the same place. With some suit and tie profession, showing off the money they made trying to keep up with public image. Wether they are parents or buisness men he feels that it's all fake and that people are leading false lives by conforming. Which is kind of an unfinished way of finishing the song but it is meant to be listened to with the rest of the album. It was his was of telling us his struggles through drugs, struggles with his sexuality, and his religion. Unfortunately though Max is still struggling with drugs...But I hear he did finally decide to go with treatment. Anyways! That's what I pulled out of it.
cause i know that spark ain't coming back."
i think he's saying you have to accept change, because nothing can ever really go back to how it used to be, so all you can do is just accept it and move on. like mattz123 said, "growing up but big deal".
and under every quiet failure it's still here"
This song is so relatable... except for the weed part.
I mean I felt, and I am still feeling like this at time. I love all of their songs, but this one just hits home for me.
growing up but big deal. hes so cynical
If you replace any reference to weed with one to alcohol, this song represents exactly how I felt just after my nineteenth(sadly not eighteenth like Max) birthday. I felt like everything in my life just wasn't as good as it used to be. I noticed I had become less athletic, felt less attractive, and was certainly not as sharp as I had been(a problem Max seems to have too). Not only was I falling apart, but everyone I loved seemed to be changing too. It seems like these years at the end of and just after high school are a key transition period in everyone's lives and that means that things are going to start changing. If you really liked the way things were and are trying not to change at all but everything around you is changing it can leave you feeling really alone and longing for the way things used to be. With everything falling apart around me I was constantly confused about the direction of my life and drank way more than I should have, which served only to amplify my problems.
It seems like Max is saying in this song that the same thing happened to him, only with smoking instead of drinking.
Luckily, Max and I both now have our own "new babies" and are emotionally in much better places.
"i've got all my friends here
they haven't been talking as of lately
they've all found new bro's and babies
I have smoked away my pride"
His connections with his friends have all died off because he is simply wasting his time on drugs.
The whole vibe of the song is depressed and bored, Much like the aftereffects of marijuana.
It's about how he feels he's wasting his life, losing touch with things, becoming stupider (book references, and the title), and how He can't stop, because weed is what helps him escape all these anxieties.
Max is an angsty stoner, But that's why we love him.
Great song.