Know something about this song or lyrics?
Add it to our wiki.
As I was walking through a life one morning
The sun was out, the air was warm
But oh, I was cold
And though I must have looked a half a person
To tell the tale in my own version
It was only then that I felt whole
Do you believe in something beautiful?
Then get up and be it
Fighting for the smallest goal:
To get a little self-control
I know how hard you try
I see it in your eyes
Call your friends, because we've forgotten
What it's like to eat what's rotten
And what's eating you alive
Might help you to survive
We went on, as we were on a mission
Latest in a Grand Tradition
Oh, what did we find?
It was Ego who was flying the banner
Me and Mia, Ann and Ana, oh
We'd been unkind
Do you believe in something beautiful?
Then, get up and be it
Fighting for the smallest goal:
To get a little self-control
I see it in your eyes
I see it in your spine
But call your friends, because we've forgotten
What it's like to eat what's rotten
And what's eating you alive
Might help you to survive
Even the nights that could get better
And even the days aren't all that bad
And after a week of fighting
As more and more it seems the right thing
Do you believe in something beautiful?
Then get up and be it
Fighting for the smallest goal:
To gain a little self-control
Won't anybody here just let you disappear?
Not doctors, nor your mom nor dad
But me and Mia, Ann and Ana
Know how hard you try
Don't you see it in my eyes?
Sick to death of my dependence
Fighting food to find trancendence
Fighting to survive
More dead, but more alive
Cigarettes and speed to live
And sleeping pills to feel forgiven
All that you contrive
And all that you're deprived
All the bourgeois social angels
Telling you you've got to change
Don't have any idea
They'll never see so clear
But don't forget what it really means to hunger strike
When you don't really need to
Some are dying for the cause, but that don't make it yours
And even the nights, they could get better
The sun was out, the air was warm
But oh, I was cold
And though I must have looked a half a person
To tell the tale in my own version
It was only then that I felt whole
Do you believe in something beautiful?
Then get up and be it
Fighting for the smallest goal:
To get a little self-control
I know how hard you try
I see it in your eyes
Call your friends, because we've forgotten
What it's like to eat what's rotten
And what's eating you alive
Might help you to survive
We went on, as we were on a mission
Latest in a Grand Tradition
Oh, what did we find?
It was Ego who was flying the banner
Me and Mia, Ann and Ana, oh
We'd been unkind
Do you believe in something beautiful?
Then, get up and be it
Fighting for the smallest goal:
To get a little self-control
I see it in your eyes
I see it in your spine
But call your friends, because we've forgotten
What it's like to eat what's rotten
And what's eating you alive
Might help you to survive
Even the nights that could get better
And even the days aren't all that bad
And after a week of fighting
As more and more it seems the right thing
Do you believe in something beautiful?
Then get up and be it
Fighting for the smallest goal:
To gain a little self-control
Won't anybody here just let you disappear?
Not doctors, nor your mom nor dad
But me and Mia, Ann and Ana
Know how hard you try
Don't you see it in my eyes?
Sick to death of my dependence
Fighting food to find trancendence
Fighting to survive
More dead, but more alive
Cigarettes and speed to live
And sleeping pills to feel forgiven
All that you contrive
And all that you're deprived
All the bourgeois social angels
Telling you you've got to change
Don't have any idea
They'll never see so clear
But don't forget what it really means to hunger strike
When you don't really need to
Some are dying for the cause, but that don't make it yours
And even the nights, they could get better
Lyrics submitted by constant
Track duration: 03:31
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
It encompasses all the different contradictions someone suffering an e.d goes through like "what's eating you alive might help you to survive" and "fighting to survive/ more dead but more alive". It's the contradiction all eating disorder sufferes face- that what's killing you is all that's keeping you alive. "Though I must have looked a half a person/ to tell the tale in my own version/ it was only then that I felt whole."
Even the "Don't forget what it really means to hunger strike/ when you don't really need to/ Some are dying for a cause but that don't make it yours"- someone said they interpreted it as the juxtaposition between political struggle and individual and mentioned something about vanity/politics. I interpreted it as the way a lot of e.d sufferers try to internalise the struggles of the world. But that might just be me.
This song is brilliant. It has everthing. It encompasses the whole experience. LOVE IT
And also the peace you find with the e.d. even as you struggle:"
"Won't anybody here just let you disappear?
Not doctors, nor your mom nor dad
But me and Mia, Ann and Ana
Know how hard you try"
It seems like that part is refering to the fact that you don't want any interference or any change to your routine of eating habits. Also refering to recovery when all you want to do is disappear for a while and just eat and behave how you want without doctors, friends, or family. The only "friend" you have is your ED. That control is all you take pride in.
"Sick to death of my dependence
Fighting food to find trancendence"
The logical little voice in the back of your head says stop- you're sick of having food control your motives. However, denying food gives you the "wholeness" that's desired. This part's really the kicker with EDs (or any other addiction, I suppose); you know its not right and not what you want, but you like the "high" it gives you.
"Fighting to survive
More dead, but more alive"
Favorite line, hands down. Moving closer to death yet perfection simoultaneously (though perfection can never be obtained, especially when you are suffering from and ED).
I could write a book about this ong, but it seems like you guys have it covered. Haha
Might help you to survive"
everyone here seems to think it's the worry that's eating you alive, but food is what helps you survive. of course, that's one interpretation.
for me however, i know the disorder is what's eating me alive, but i cannot possibly imagine life without it--i couldn't survive without it. so this line holds an entirely different meaning for me.
but that's the beauty of lyrics and literature--there isn't really a wrong interpretation :)
Ted Leo is the greatest writer in the world :)
I love this song and what FIONAR2001 said is a really good translation.
so scroll down a little and check it out.
and what's eating you alive,
might help you to survive.
-this eating disorder is hurting you physically but emotionally it is helping you survive.
I've struggled with eating problems and I just started crying when I read the lyrics.
"Sick to death of my dependence,
Fighting food to find trancendence"
"More dead but more alive"
It's exactly how it feels. I wonder what inspired them to write this song because it's very realistic.
Then, get up and be it "
THAT PART. It means get up from the toilet bowl and try to be somebody else than the bulimic person. Powerful song. Very powerful.
First of all, I'd like to point out that though anorexia is mentioned several times, the title of the song is actually Me and Mia, which leads me to believe it deals more with bulimia than anything else. Something no one else has pointed out is that bulimia is not only throwing up and taking laxatives. Another form of purging is actually to fast, taking on the tendencies of anorexia for whatever period of time. The difference is that anorexics will eat something small every couple of days and then return to the fast. Bulimics generally break this fast with a binge, which they then purge. Its a vicious cycle.
Anyway, this is my take on all of it.
The sun was out, the air was warm but ohh,
I was cold,
and though I must have looked a half a person,
It was only then that I felt whole.
The first lines are obvious: a quick drop in weight will make you cold in any enviroment. From a personal standpoint, I know that I have trained my body to embrace the feeling of hunger. I feel much better when I am hungry, or just after a binge, or basically anytime I am empty, than when I am full.
Fighting for the smallest goal:
to get a little self-control.
I know how hard you try.
and what's eating you alive,
might help you to survive.
EDs are all about control. Especially with bulimia, its about the self control, because when you lose that self control and binge, it leads to such a feeling of self-loathing and shame that you must rid yourself of the offensive food. Its starts with the "smallest" goal, something like today I will skip lunch. If you can meet that goal, you feel empowered, you skip dinner. Then you don't eat the next day. Or the next. Its all mental, mind over matter. And obviously, EDs are self destructive. You are, in effect, killing yourself, and that hunger will keep you alive if you give into it. Its the choice between being thin and being healthy, and someone with an ED choses to be thin.
Even the nights that could get better.
And even the days aren't all that bad.
And after a week of fighting,
As more and more it seems the right thing
Personally, and from those I know with EDs, when you fast, the first day is the worst. That's when the hunger is consuming and hurts the most, and its hardest to ignore. If you can get past that, going for days and days is easy as pie. The biting hunger just becomes a dull ache and its much easier to ignore. It begins to feel right, the emptiness, and you feel good that you're fighting and winning.
Won't anybody here just let you disappear?
Not doctors, nor your mom nor dad,
But me and Mia, Ann and Ana
Know how hard you try,
Don't you see it in my eyes?
This is more a problem for sufferers of anorexia than bulimics. Its hard to hide the fact that you don't ever eat, and while seriously ill people don't broadcast their disorder, there's usually a certain amount of pride that comes with mastering your own urges. Bulimia, on the other hand, is usually a very secret and shameful struggle, one that is kept hidden for long periods of time. After two years of suffering, no one knows that I have this disorder. The line about the doctors and parents is different in both cases. With ana, this is a literal problem. With mia, this is a problem that will have to be faced if they ever admit the problem, and the fear keeps it hidden. Most people with EDs become so afraid of gaining weight, and the ED is the only way they know of dealing with food, that they fear being discovered and being forced to deal with it in a healthy way. They would rather be knowingly unhealthy than be "fat."
Sick to death of my dependence,
Fighting food to find trancendence.
Fighting to survive.
More dead, but more alive.
ED suffers are completely consumed with an obsession with food. It dictates their lives, how they feel about themselves and others, their moods. Everything. I have never met a person who liked the dependency, but we know no other way. They may be dead because they are dying, but it makes them feel alive.
Cigarettes and speed to live,
And sleeping pills to feel forgiven.
All that you contrive,
And all that you're deprived.
Without your body burning fuel, energy supplements often become necessary. That's where the cigarettes and speed comes in. All that you contrive is the distorted way that people with EDs see themselves, and all that you're deprived is obviously food.
Now, I personally differ on my interpretation of the sleeping pill line. When I'm fighting off a binge, my cravings get worse at night. Sometimes, to deal with this, I would take sleeping pills. If I'm knocked out, I can't eat. I know I'm not the only person who does this.
All the bourgeois social angels
Telling you you've got to change.
Don't have any idea.
They'll never see so clear.
Basically, people left and right tell you you must change, you must be healthy, you must eat. But someone who has never had an ED could never understand the behavior, or the way it makes you feel.
I don't think this song is pro- or anti-ED. I think it's just a portrayal of a person who has a disorder, and its open for the listener to see it as a pro or a con. Some may find it horrifying. It makes me feel understood. It all depends on who you are.
I adore this song.
i think it's obvious what it's about; eating disorders.
he breaks it down & describes it very nicely.
especially the part about everyone not understanding, but your disorder does.
i also like the chorus, fighting for the smallest goal, to gain a little self control.
that is the main reason e.d.'s develop.
it's so ironic with the upbeat tempo, and the way he sings sounds happy but the lyrics are so sad. :)
he's an amazing writer.