basically

i think the chorus is genius

very clear, and true

but i feel that the rest of the song was written AFTER the chorus.. and that he was trying to make it as good as the chorus... and failed

I think you're right. The chorus is very good, but I have the feeling that the rest of the lyrics are written just to finish the song. there are some parts that don't sound good AT ALL. But still, I love the music and it gives me a certain feeling,that is between sadness and joy

This song drives me crazy!! To me (as a daughter) it just seems so unbearably patronising... something about John Mayer's usual style of supposedly earnest, overly-meaningful lyrics in that sappy oh-so-sensitive voice... argh. I don't care if he IS earnest and sensitive; I think he overdid it here and I don't care to be sung to about women and and/or psychology in this way. *shrug*

well you know,Heliamphora ,you don't even have to listen to his music. just like i choose not to listen to country music.

this song has a lot of meaning and truth behind it and i can understand it.

i have a dad who walked away,who left. i know how hard it is to open up to any guy and for them to feel very lost. or unable to fix some broken girl.its a vicious circle of unreliable fathers,emptiness,and wanting.

I really don't see how people think it's mysoginistic. He's by no means saying women are weak. By the "boys you can break..." stanza, he's saying boys tend to take the confrontation approach. They'll explode, they'll be the ones to say, "Screw it, it's BS, I don't give," etc. Girls by nature are sensitive. Girls are soft hearted, and bad things in the past will scar them because they're by nature, much more sensitive than guys.

The line, "but boys would be gone without one thing: A woman's, good, good heart," reminds me of a quote that Abigail Adams said to her husband: "If it weren't for the women of the world, all the men would have killed each other by now." I'm a firm believer in that quote. Women take a much more rational approach to things.

And the, "oh behalf of every man..." stanza, I really like that part. The impact that good fathers have on their daughters is inexpressable. A little girl's hero is her daddy, and though the way the girl shows her affection changes as she gets older, the love for them never changes. I've never met a girl with a good father who didn't love him entirely like John Mayer describes in the song.

whether or not the song actually encourages woman-hating, it's still really dumb and just not true. Sometimes boys don't say "screw it" and treating them however you want because you assume they can take it is dangerous, and it's patronizing to assume that all girls are fragile little flowers.
I have no idea what you mean about a girl's hero being her dad--I mean, my dad is awesome and I love him a lot, but I wouldn't say he's "the g-d and the weight of [my] world" any more than my mom is. Stringing together some stereotypes is not good songwriting.

This songs really sucks when you listen to all the lyrics. It starts out beautifully when he sings "she puts the color inside of my world", also the line "I've done all I can, to stand on the step with my heart in my hand" is beautiful,
but then it's downhill afterwards as all of the sudden he turns into a preacher telling all the fathers to be good to their daugthers. Who does he think he is? And it's just because his girlfriend is like a maze to him he has to preach to not only all the fathers but also mothers out there to be nice to daugthers?

He should have stuck with a love theme for this song as it really has nice melody.

Okay, first let me say that I really do understand (and sometimes even agree with) a lot of the criticism aimed at this song.

However, I also feel a connection to it that allows me to look past its flaws, because I wish my father would have taken his advice. My father and I have always had a somewhat strained - and certainly difficult - relationship. The times that I can remember being "Daddy's Little Girl" make me so happy, but then I remember the times where we would have horrible arguments. I've found now that I have some difficulties in relationships with guys, and that they stem a lot from what happened with my father.

The general emphasis of this song is true, although it should really go without saying: Fathers should be good to their daughters (mothers, too). A girl's father has a big influence in her future relationships. In my experience, if a girl couldn't trust her father, she'll likely have a hard time trusting her partner. Mothers also obviously have a big influence in their daughters lives as well; however, it is the parent of the opposite sex that has the greater influence in a child's future romantic relationships.

While I agree this song got completely overplayed and blown way bigger than it should be. I think it's worth noticing that the major complaints of this song are emotional, calling it overplayed, mysoginsitic, and overly-sentimental.

The truth of the matter is, ANYONE is more stable, open to new relationships and well-adjusted when both their parents are good to them and a part of their life. So taking one out leads to a broken person. It is a well known fact that the father-daughter and father-son relationship are different and the child deals with them differently shows in expressions like: "Every good cowboy has Daddy issues." and "Never date a girl with Daddy issues."

John's taking the high road and saying on behalf of the guys who later in life will have these girls with daddy issues in their life either as friends or as girlfriends.

I really don't understand how people can think that this song is sexist... whether you want to acknowledge it or not, fathers play a big role in a girl's life, whether he is there or not. A father is usually the first male influence that a girl has, so how could her view of men not stem out from her father? It is a beautiful song about loving your family, and not messing people up forever by abandoning them, and if you don't like the song, don't listen to it, no one is making you.

If you think this is a sexist song, then you have completely missed the point. I have two beautiful daughters, and my wife and I have talked at great length about how to raise them. I never had sisters, so this has been a huge learning experience for me. My wife has told me that a girl could be the prettiest, the best, and the brightest, but if her dad doesn't think she is, then all the praise from everyone else in her life won't matter.

One of the things I was looking for when I was dating and stuff was a girl who had a good relationship with her dad, because I knew that if she didn't, that I'd end up dealing with a lot of that baggage. Fortunately I married a woman who loves her dad, and who in turn is respected by her dad. People totally underestimate how important the role of parents are in kids' lives.

Being a guy, I know I can take being broken better than other women in some ways. Before you call me a sexist, let me point out that most guys I know are very good at COMPARTMENTALIZING or separating their lives against hardships. It's just something we can do. That's why, when my wife has girls nights, they TALK about everything, and when I have guys nights, we play HalfLife.

I agree that it's a great song about a healthy family, which is pretty much the building block of everything else in society.

Quoting MamasanScar:"The truth of the matter is, ANYONE is more stable, open to new relationships and well-adjusted when both their parents are good to them and a part of their life. So taking one out leads to a broken person. It is a well known fact that the father-daughter and father-son relationship are different and the child deals with them differently shows in expressions like: "Every good cowboy has Daddy issues." and "Never date a girl with Daddy issues."

I think that the actions of parents always affect children, but I don't like to look to the stereotype that all of these children are necessarily broken. No doubt, many are broken, but once a person makes the assumption that "All of these kids will be broken" there will be someone who grows up to be an incredible, strong, and well put together person, who everyone enjoys the presence of, and its indeed not very broken, but did have a harsh childhood.

I know many people like this. I think it affects these people, no matter what, but the outcome is not always negative. One of my best friends had a father figure for sometime, then he cheated on her mother, and she has rarely seen him since. She is always trying to get his attention, to see him, to check up on him because his life isn't doing too well, but he doesnt ever give her back the attention she should be getting from a father. But, however, her mother is incredibly strong, she herself only grew up with a mother. My friend is actually one of the kindest, most vibrant, presentable people I know. It all depends I guess.

She comes from a family though, were most of the women are single, widows or divorced, and I come from a similar one as well. However, my parents beat that idea, both not growing up in stable homes, they have been together for forever, and there are the average problems, but I cant seem to see them divorcing, not anytime soon anyways.

So I think yes, indeed people, many women do have hard times trusting men if there fathers were never there during childhood, but not all of them and we can never make a safe generalization to that. Same with men. I have met many well put together males who have had bad unstable families, and our awesome people, but I have met some who... I know something is wrong, and they are somewhat broken in most relationships they have. It just depends on the person, male or female, it always depends.

I think the meaning of this song is like any other song, it has open lyrics that you can read and perhaps make your own meaning to it in your own perspective or in your own life, but I think it was simply written in this style, were a man is helping a girl, who is a daughter who hasnt perhaps had a stable family because her father, is because mayer wrote it firsthand from his own experiences. He is a male, so he is going to view things from this perspective, of course.

There might be songs and writings with the same message, of a person trying to just be a helping hand and offer their love to someone with an unstable or broken life perhaps, but they mightve been written by a female to a male, or whatever.

I think this song doesnt really stand to be sexist, it is an open perspective, about life and the way people are raised.

I liked this song and I can relate to it because I have many friends and many people who battle with household problems. I have been lucky enough to not have many harsh household problems, I have both a caring mother, and a decent father. Even though I couldnt call myself so close to them, they have always been here, at home for support, and although I am not rich, I have just enough, and they have always been there for that, and I love them for that.

I have recently fallen into a daze I have feelings for a friend, a boy I really do care about, in an odd way. He is just a friend though, not a close friend, but I do care about him, and I feel as if I know he has problems and things he has to deal with, and I dont know if someone like me, someone who has neevr had those things, if I can actually take care of him, or provide enough empathy and understanding for him.

I feel like what I do, perhaps no matter what I do, will never work enough, even if I give everything I have. I worry all of everything I have might not be enough, because he might need something I dont have. But on the other hand, I might have what he wants, someone who hasnt been through what he has, and someone who has been raised differently, someone who can care for him like maybe someone he has never had. We have alot in common, we think about life similarly, we both are simple and pretty down to earth. But I worry I cant help him in some areas. I worry we just might never be able to, because he might never be able to actually have a women who can give that to him.

I like this song because it kinda comes across the way I would like to come across to him, in many ways, the way it sounds, and in many of the lyrics. His walls continously change, and it might not have anything to do with me, I might not be able to help him, and I am, just from humble little ol me, Im asking I wish mothers and fathers will be good to their daughters and sons, and or that their daughters and sons can be happy and heal, I dont know what will be, or if they will heal, or if they can, but I am standing on the steps with my heart in my hands.

think this is about my dad. ^_^
i wonder if he has heard ths song

these lyrics are so far off its not even funny, here arethe real ones. or at least closer.


I know a girl
she puts the color inside of my world
but she's just like a maze
where all of the walls all continually change

I've done all i can
to stand on the steps with my heart in my hands
Now im starting to see
maybe its got nothing to do with me.

so fathers be good to your daughters,
daughters will love like you do,
girls become lovers who turn into mothers
so mothers be good to your daughters too.

Oh

Oh you see that skin
its the same shes been standing in
since the day she saw him walkin away
now shes left cleanin up the mess he made.

so fathers be good to your daughters,
daughters will love like you do, yeah
girls become lovers who turn into mothers
so mothers be good to your daughters too.

good as you can be
you find out how much they can take
boys will be strong and
boys soldier on
but boys would be gone
without warmth of a woman's good good heart

on behalf of every man
looking out for every girl
you are the god and the weight of her world

so fathers be good to your daughters,
daughters will love like you do,
girls become lovers who turn into mothers
so mothers be good to your daughters too
so mothers be good to your daughters too
so mothers be good to your daughters too

Comments and HUGE Question:

Every book I have read says that fathers do instill the way most women will handle their men-woman relationships. "MOST" being the operative term. Sure there are exceptions but in a study we must generalize and follow study guidelines. Heck condoms are 99% effective but you may fall on the 1%, do you dwell on that 1% of take ur chances on the "most" likely scenario?

Mothers will shape how women handle caring of their own, etc. It only makes sense. Again MOST.

Here is the question. I am myself are considering a divorce so I have moved out. Have a nearly 2 yr old daughter I love dearly. I see her every morning and her mom gets her every night (one day each on weekends). This is our current agreement during our separation.

I heard this song and like I said it is parallele to all the books im reading on the importance fatherly role plays. I have no issues cause I love and need to see my daughter as much as I do. Question is, if I did get divorced but played a significant role in her life, no not the one where you see her every other weekend but the one where you know who called her what at school that day or yesterday at most, does anyone (hopefully from experience) think this would constitute the same effect as the missing father daughter syndrome discussed?????????

I no longer love my wife, we no longer love one another, not sure we ever did but consider trying again daily just for the child we both love so much. Toughest decision ever!

Thanks for comments

im sorry i like john mayer but think the lyrics in this song ar
e quite poor.

I love this song so much. One of my all-time John Mayer favorites. Its a man having problems understanding the girl he's in love with... why she's so distant and why she has so much trouble showing her affection and trusting him. Then he realizes that it has nothing to do with him... its all about her father... "You see that skin, its the same she's been standing in, since the day she saw him walking away, now she's left cleaning up the mess he made." Its really hard to trust men when the most important one in your life walks out on you and you can do nothing but watch him go... and deal with the mess that ineviltably follows. Its about this inner anger tha girls start to build when they realize that they're been abandoned by a man that they really counted on. I think his confusion comes from her inner battle... she wants to love and be loved, but its hard to trust someone not to leave you when you learned that harsh lesson at such a young age... "she's like a maze where all of the walls all continually change."

maybe it didn't fit with the song, and maybe he doesn't see it cos he's a guy, but i totally disagree with the idea that 'boys will be strong/boys will soldier on' ... yeah they will, by burying all the issues so deeply that they never surface, and by essentially smothering their ability to connect emotionally. in some ways i think men are more fragile than women, damaged or not, but in our culture men are expected to suck it up through a big fat straw and get over it ... women get to be scary and damaged and emotionally needy. parents have such an enormous responsibility ... to all their kids not just girls.

another error in the lyrics:
Now i started to SEE
maybe its got nothing to do with me

i thought the lyrics were:

oh you see that skin?
its the same shes been standing in
since the day she saw him walking away
now shes left, cleaning up the mess he made

im confused :(

I for one do not think that this song is just about being good to fragile women. This is more about how a parents decision can change the life of their child. I've grown up without a father, and I was pretty depressed for quite a few years until I decided that his absense wasn't going to affect me. So this song is like a reminder to me that it's not my fault he's not there.

my father left me and my mother when i was only four years old and he is right about fathers being the god and the weight of our worlds....my world was a mess until my stepdad came into our lives (me and my mom's ) and this song really means alot to me...

It's obviously about parental influence, and how it affects the children's well-being. Parents have a huge task on their shoulders, and it definitely does matter if one has a stable and loving family.

You can only hope you have such a lovely dad who is good to his daughter, cause I can't imagine what it's like. I grew up trying to bring my dad to senses, and it's not fun. An unstable home situation sometimes results in girls who try to find their love elsewhere and it can go the wrong way... so I think it's beautiful that John Mayer positively tries to bring that to the attention. It is a big deal.

I'm sure this comment will crush the fairytale outlooks of many a fellow listener. However, I feel that this must be said.

This song represents what is called "benevolent sexism", and I'm surprised at how this has managed to escape so many people who have left a comment.

Benevolent sexism seems less harmful than outright hostile sexism, but can be just as bad for equality in the long run.

Let's start here:

"so fathers be good to your daughters,
daughters will love like you do,
girls become lovers who turn into mothers
so mothers be good to your daughters too."

This assumes women are destined to turn into mothers, when not all of them choose this path. It follows the incorrect view that all women are motherly.

Now, this part makes me sick:

"boys you can break
find out how much they can take
boys will be strong and
boys soldier on
but boys would be gone
without warmth of a woman's good good heart"

Ok, boys you can break? They're strong, tough, and without emotion? How ridiculous can Mayer get here? Gender is much more flexible than was once thought, and it's proven that boys too can break.

The "warmth of a woman's good, good heart"? This view of women as pure, motherly, and do-no-wrong slides past many people because it doesn't seem as outright sexist as certain other things. To assume a woman is this eternally caring, emotional being is condescending, regardless of how sweetly Mayer lets it slip from his lips.

I've saved the best for last:

"on behalf of every man
looking out for every girl
you are the god and the weight of her world"

What? The GOD and the weight of her world?

... GOD?

I hope someone sees the insanity of this besides just me.

Research benevolent sexism and stop praising Mayer's ignorance. Maybe I should stop worrying my pretty little head and go sew something nice.

this is not sexism, its true- boys do tend to be more confrontational
i like how he's blaming his girlfriend's dad for her issues, that is something i could never think of myself.
what i didnt understand was "The GOD and the weight of her world? " just like herbivore.