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All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
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So there ya have it.
Source: reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/zzueg/im_the_lead_singer_of_matchbox_twenty_with_an/
I relate this song to simply feeling depressed and socially anxious. A wish that others wouldn't be in such a rush..that they'd stay and get to know me, or simply laugh off my awkwardness or nervousness and welcome me into feeling better/more comfortable. A wish they wouldn't be so quick to judge and exclude, but a knowledge that they simply don't care enough about our relationship to make an effort, and would rather brush it off.
"All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something"
* A ceiling could mean a boundary that is above you that you can't quite reach, so staring at it is more like seeing a goal that you could never really reach. Walls also are restrictions, but are closer than the ceiling and shadows could represent how alone, you are able to explore without ever breeching the walls or soaring to reach a goal that isn't reasonable. Sleep is a comodity that is precious and rare for crazy folks, I guess, and tomorrow always comes too soon when you do not get enough. Also, considering modern times, a wall could mean something like the internet or facebook where you make supposed "friends" with "shadows" aka strangers.
"Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why"
* Obviously, whatever he encounters within his limited world he has trouble making sense of it and feels as though he is on the edge of loosing his mind!
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me"
* He was exceptionally unprepared for what he finds which renders him unwell. Mentally unprepared to really grasp it and is unable to make sense of it. Again, his mental faculties are impaired as he struggles to make sense of it and although "right now you don't care" he is asking, "just stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different[ce] out (side) of me" meaning he has hope or faith in that he will eventually solve the problem. This could mean so many different things to different people (the problem, that is), but I think he literally is trying to make sense of what he has recently stumbled upon. He doesn't feel himself and is ready to get back to being himself.
"I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind"
* Here, there is a different tone and if he wrote the song himself, we have to remember he is in the lime-light and maybe never realized that people are really apart of what he is doing. Maybe he writes/plays music but never considered that it would affect others and he probably never intended for it to...just he alone confined to his inner-room where others have never entered before. Suddenly, he realizes that he was never really alone...where he made friends with shadows, they were not ever real to him and certainly never knew that he was noticed and liked it that way. Talking to himself in public could mean that what he wrote, or felt, or discovered was for him and no one else, yet he then realizes that he was not truly alone. The most significant part, for me, is when he sings, "I can hear them whispher and it makes me think there Must be something wrong...with me." This means that his innner world is Exposed before the world, or particularly, someone Else and he feels Extremely vulnerable and frightened. Out of all the hours he spent alone...thinking...he didn't really think/Expect to be heard. Realizing that his thoughts were heard, he feels as though he is loosing his mind!
"I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away"
* Considering he probably doesn't sleep and saying that he's been talking in his sleep is contradictory. Maybe he means that he is allowed to voyage and create when he should be sleeping and now that it has been revealed that his inner-most thoughts were heard (the deepest and closest part) he either feels that pretty soon he will completely snap and loose it, or, that whoever the someone is who hears him is coming to take him away. Dunno.
"Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell"
* He is, perhaps, having difficulty coming to terms with what he is now...exposed...and who he was before...just being himself...Basically, he feels that everything so personal and true to himself is being revealed...another was listening all along and he can't quite wrap his mind around it and so, feels "unwell" or unprepared to cope with what exactly that means to him, personally.
Or, the song could just mean that when you are constantly striving to find meaning in ambiguity, if it spills into the world of the living, a catastrophe could result...menatlly, that is. Finding meaning in the obsolete is tantalizing! However, applying the same process to people feels like fate which can be more than confusing...you feel like you are loosing your mind!!
So, I get these random pains, right? These mild to severe, but constant pains, that cause me to be isolated on occasion, and stay out of school a lot. And I'm absolutely sick of it, because life is sucking majorly, and nothing ever changes. And my sleep is being seriously affected by stress and just not caring anymore. Even though I hurt today, I could be better tomorrow, but I need to get rest, and I'm just not.
And I'm so SICK of it, sick of doctors, and appointments, and referrals. It's all building up, and I just want to fall apart and cry for hours sometimes.
And this isn't all in my head, I'm not crazy. I've just got a little problem. Unfortunately, my friends and fellow classmates aren't exactly seeing that anymore. They're just seeing that I'm missing a lot of school and getting away with it. And, maybe if they paid attention, they'd see that I've got some actually issues going on here. But, they don't really care anyway. And I just want to go back to how things were before.
And I'm getting paranoid. I'm terrified that people are talking about me behind my back - and what's worse is that I know they have, because people have TOLD me. And I just start wondering if maybe it is all in my head, because while this condition is considered real by the majority of doctors, it's also laughed at by plenty of others. And maybe I am just crazy.
But then I remember that, no, it's real. It's not just in my head.
But I still want things do go back to normal.