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Poison oak, some boyhood bravery
When the telephone was a tin can on a string
And I fell asleep with you still talking to me
You said you weren't afraid to die
In Polaroids you were dressed in women's clothes
Were you made ashamed?
Why did you lock them in the drawer?
And I don't think that I ever loved you more
Than when you turned away
When you slammed the door
When you stole the car and drove towards Mexico
And you wrote bad checks just to fill your arm
I was young enough, I still believed in war
Let the poets cry themselves to sleep
And all their tearful words could turn back into steam
But me, I'm a single cell on a serpent's tongue
And there's a muddy field where a garden was
And I'm glad you got away, but I'm still stuck out here
My clothes are soaking wet from your brother's tears
And I never thought this life was possible
You're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for
The end of paralysis, I was a statuette
Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench
And when I press the keys, it all gets reversed
The sound of loneliness makes me happier
When the telephone was a tin can on a string
And I fell asleep with you still talking to me
You said you weren't afraid to die
In Polaroids you were dressed in women's clothes
Were you made ashamed?
Why did you lock them in the drawer?
And I don't think that I ever loved you more
Than when you turned away
When you slammed the door
When you stole the car and drove towards Mexico
And you wrote bad checks just to fill your arm
I was young enough, I still believed in war
Let the poets cry themselves to sleep
And all their tearful words could turn back into steam
But me, I'm a single cell on a serpent's tongue
And there's a muddy field where a garden was
And I'm glad you got away, but I'm still stuck out here
My clothes are soaking wet from your brother's tears
And I never thought this life was possible
You're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for
The end of paralysis, I was a statuette
Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench
And when I press the keys, it all gets reversed
The sound of loneliness makes me happier
Lyrics submitted by rjbucs28, edited by kangaroo98
Track duration: 04:39
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-- Is this referring to heroin?
I think it also states how much Conor cared for this person and couldn't care less that this person was 'different' so to speak and admired his bravery to flee somewhere away from this sometimes bitter world.
'And I don't think that I ever loved you more
Than when you turned away
When you slammed the door
When you stole the car and drove towards Mexico
And you wrote bad checks just to fill your arm
I was young enough, I still believed in war"
I think what he means with this is that, the time when the other boy rebelled and ran, in a way broke free of the life that suppressed him. To young Conor's eyes, it seemed that the other boy was fighting back, in a 'war' against suppression, the system or whatever and Conor loved and admired him the most that time for his bravery and envied his freedom. Maybe...Maybe :p
"But me, I'm a single cell on a serpent's tongue
And there's a muddy field where a garden was
And I'm glad you got away, but I'm still stuck out here
My clothes are soaking wet from your brother's tears"
To me, these verses describe a funeral.
The yellow bird reference also reinforces this theory; ithe lyrics from Simon Joyner's song are quite literal on this matter. Conor might have intedded Poison Oak to be a different point of view of the "story" told by Joyner on his song. Came a Yellow Bird is from the pov of the person who wants to kill themselves; Poison Oak is about someone who met that person.
Ugh, this song gets to me.
"You're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for"
It could mean that this person's death has warned him/taught him some things, which he desperately needed to learn, 'been waiting for' . or.. something along those lines, if you catch my drift?
“Poison oak, some boyhood bravery” – I think this is just making a reference to things that were scary in childhood (example, poison oak) in comparison to what scares them now – and in this case, it’s suicide. Being brave had a different meaning when they were that young.
“When a telephone was a tin can on a string” – Another reference to the simplicity of childhood. Things have changed so much, from when things were so basic and uncomplicated.
“And I fell asleep with you still talking to me, you said you weren’t afraid to die.” – This kind of gives me a mental image of two young boys, having a sleepover or whatever, and when one (Colin) thinks that the other (Conor) is asleep, he’s spilling his deep secrets, things that he wouldn’t say otherwise, such as the fact that he isn’t afraid to die. While Conor is actually awake and listening, and becoming afraid just hearing this.
“In Polaroids, you were dressed in women’s clothes, were you made ashamed? Why’d you lock them in a drawer?” – This is about him being/experimenting with being a cross dresser. He was made ashamed by people making fun of him and locking them in a drawer because he doesn’t want to have to relive those moments anymore. They bring back memories of the past that make him upset.
“Well, I don’t think that I ever loved you more than when you turned away, when you slammed the door, when you stole the car and drove towards Mexico.” – This is about Conor accepting all of the flaws. Colin’s mistakes make Conor just love him more. Mistakes are normal and the fact that he got through them is more important than the fact that he made them.
“When you wrote bad checks just to fill your arm,” – Getting into drugs. Using fraud to “fill his arm”.
“I was young enough, I still believed in war.” – Being young and naïve enough to believe whatever you’re told, at least when it’s coming from who you think you trust. But now that he’s older, with issues such as suicide and things he’s facing in life, he’s just not sure anymore. It’s come time for him to make up his own mind and make decisions on his own and he can’t tell which side he’s on.
“Well, let the poets cry themselves to sleep, and all their tearful words will turn back into steam.” – Not quite sure about this but I think he’s referring to himself (the poet) and saying how all of his words will “turn back into steam” because they don’t matter. His poetry and writing can’t bring back his cousin and they don’t matter in the real word. Kind of reminds me of Lover I Don’t Have To Love, ‘you write such pretty words, but life’s no storybook.’ Same kind of idea.
“But me I’m a single cell, on a serpent’s tongue” – I wondered about this line for so long and I finally think I have it figured out. Being a ‘single cell’ of anything means being a tiny part of something huge. You feel insignificant but as a whole with this group, you have great impact and power. A serpent usually represents something negative and a ‘serpent’s tongue’ can mean negative words, saying horrible things to someone. With this I think he means he was one of the people that said things to Colin which pushed him to commit suicide. Now looking back he’s realizing that he was a part of it.
“There’s a muddy field where a garden was” – Life used to be beautiful, a garden. Now it’s all gone wrong and has turned into a muddy field – it all seems dark and hopeless now.
“I’m glad you got away, but I’m still stuck out here” – He’s glad in a way that Colin was able to escape this life that he hated so much, but Conor’s still stuck in the world (the ‘muddy field’) and now he doesn’t even have Colin anymore.
“My clothes are soaking wet from your brother’s tears” – I think he’s referring to himself as ‘your brother’. They were so close that they were like brothers. He’s saying that his clothes are soaking wet from his own tears.
“And I never thought this life was possible. You’re the yellow bird that I’ve been waiting for.” – When mining, they sometimes use canaries (yellow birds) by sending them down in the mines to warn of danger and let them know when it was safe to return. So Colin was Conor’s yellow bird – he made him realize that it was time to move on with his life and leave the past behind. A savior in a way, giving him the relief of being able to let go.
“The end of paralysis, I was a statuette” – He had been frozen in time, stuck in the same memories and moments and not being able to let go of them.
“Now I’m drunk as hell on a piano bench, and when I press the keys, it all gets reversed” – He’s finding solace in music, by saying ‘it all gets reversed’ I think he could mean that for a little while he’s able to imagine things turning out differently.
“The sound of loneliness makes me happier” – He’s realizing that even though the suicide is tragic and he’s lost someone close to him, at least now he doesn’t have to have this horrible sadness in his and Colin’s life. They no longer have to deal with Colin being so miserable and so upset with everything in his life. Colin is free and now Conor feels free too, the fact that he’s finally alone could be good in a way.
This is about a childhood friend, whether it be his brother, cousin, friend, etc.
"Poison oak, some boyhood bravery" ~ maybe means that he was considered to be 'poisonous' because he was gay, and it was brave of him to be who he was and stay who he was, despite what people told him.
"In Polaroids you were dressed in women's clothes
Were you made ashamed?
Why did you lock them in the drawer?" ~ to me, this is him showing us that he is gay. And he is confused as to why he would hide it, because he's young and doesn't understand everything yet.
"I don't think I ever loved you more
then when you turned away
when you slammed the door
when you stole the car and drove towards Mexico.
And you wrote bad checks just to fill your arm
I was young enough, I still believed in war." ~ this is beautiful to me. He is proud of this person for not changing who he is and standing up for himself. Even though he was getting into trouble (herion), he was still proud of him. And the part about believing in war, maybe his parents told him that his brother went off to war to fight, and he was young enough to believe them.
"But me i'm a single cell on a serpent's tongue.
and there's a muddy field where a garden was,
and i'm glad you got away, but i'm still stuck out here.
My clothes are soaking wet from your brother's tears." ~ this is what I think this means. I could be wrong. Okay, here he is referencing the bible. You know how apparently (I do not agree with this at all) it's wrong to be gay and marriage is for a man and woman. Well, he's a single cell on a serpent's tongue. He is all alone and the serpent is the devil, or maybe the bible and he has to live by what it tells him. The muddy field where the garden was could be referencing the Garden of Eden, with Adam and Eve. The serpent being the snake and the apple that fell from the tree which also could be the reason for the title 'Poison Oak'; the tree in the Garden of Eden. And it's muddy because it's so messed up that this could happen to this person.
Well.. that's what I get from it. I do believe I could be wrong.
And I feel like that is what he's talking about... The love he has for someone close to him, even after they have fucked up. Even after they have gone.. He is expressing his endless love for a relative that he cares so desperately for. Just as I care so much for my brother. Though he has fucked up lots lately... I have never loved him more.