So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
Well I don't know what to say
Because there's truth to what you say
I know it kills you I'm this way
There's something different every day
Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
My habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that
Sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?
Not easy living in my mind
A little peace is hard to find
My every thought is undermined
By all the history inside
Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
My habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that
Sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?
I know I hear the words you said
Over and over again
I just can't get them through my head
There's just too many voices
Must be like living with the dead
Waiting for me to begin
To do the things I have said
And for this I'm sorry
So there's some truth to what you say
Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
My habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that
Sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?
Because there's truth to what you say
I know it kills you I'm this way
There's something different every day
Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
My habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that
Sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?
Not easy living in my mind
A little peace is hard to find
My every thought is undermined
By all the history inside
Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
My habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that
Sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?
I know I hear the words you said
Over and over again
I just can't get them through my head
There's just too many voices
Must be like living with the dead
Waiting for me to begin
To do the things I have said
And for this I'm sorry
So there's some truth to what you say
Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
My habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that
Sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?
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I notice in this entire album it seems to be how at least two people relate to each other. It's like a conversation between Aaron and possibly a friend. Possibly a lover. Or a daughter. Now it is Aaron that is explaining himself to another. Telling the other person that he is sorry he is this certain way, because he has been through so much.
I think a big thing about this song is about accepting yourself. That we all have our flaws and issues. We have things that affect us a certain way. Don't isolate that from who you are, because that is a part of who you are. I used to fight tooth and nail against my ego, trying to suppress my wants and desires because I thought they were dirty or evil. But, that stuff is a part of who you are.
So Aaron is basically saying yes there is truth to how this other person is describing him. He won't deny that. He won't deny who he is.