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I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got
[Chorus]
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored
I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
I am, what you never want to say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
You face away and pretend I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got
[Chorus]
You hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
Right now, hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
Right now
[Chorus: x3]
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got
[Chorus]
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored
I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
I am, what you never want to say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
You face away and pretend I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got
[Chorus]
You hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
Right now, hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
Right now
[Chorus: x3]
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I am a social exhile, a loner, socially inept, awkward, forsaken, rather forgotten than included. It's always been like this. I grew up in a place that i didn't fit in. Not "oh, my life sucks, i'm so pathetic and the world is against me, i'm just going to crawl into a corner and abbandon all hope," more like i recieved death threats for not siding with anyone. I never fit that mold, so i never had anyone to identify with, i was all alone, on one side of the world, watching from the outside. I never had any friends growing up, no relationships, no life to live, i was just getting by, trying not to end up a footnote in the paper. I was able to get out. I went to college, something very few did, and one of the few ways to get out, something only the smart ones could do.
Getting out of there was like serving 60 years in jail. You come out, and the world has changed, nothing is familiar, you don't know how to act, and i didn't know how to react to people. I live far away from where i grew up now, and have been here for 2 years. The entire first year, (and still now, but not as much) i spent learning how people really were, and what the world was really like. The down side was learning things that i knew to be normal, that were no longer normal, things i thought were everyday events, people 'wow' and shriek in disbelief at. I found out how awful the place i came from was. I knew i wanted to get out, that i didn't belong, but when i was out, i learned how terrible of a place it really was.
I had to learn how to socialize. Things most people find easy, or maybe just uncomfortable, like talking to someone you don't know, i didn't just have to overcome fears of, i had to learn. I had to learn how to act like not every one dislikes you, or was out to get you. I had to learn how to act around people, and i'm still learning. As a result, i'm super awkward to be around.
But then, after all this, just this year, i made my first friend. Someone i could talk to, confide in, care about, and be cared for in return. She became my bestfriend, by definition, not just because she was my only friend. I began to know how she reacts, talks, feels about things, and eventually, how she thinks. But as fate would have it, and like you could guess when a guy and girl become friends, someone begins to REALLY care for the other. An emotional connection was created, and i became dependant on her. I could tell her anything, and more importantly, she could rely on me for anything. I needed her to need me. I needed her to use me for things, to make myself useful, and to make her happy, even if it was only for a second. She became my only outlet for feeling. I had been numbed by the society i lived in, and needed her presence to allow me to feel emotion. Without her, i was numb again, the problem was, i wasn't ultra high on her list of friends. I was jut a friend that she could rely on and use when she needed, but she had many other friends. The fact that she hung around me at all when she clearly wasn't forced to, when she didn't feel like she needed to, but because she wanted to, made me feel wonderful. Nobody had ever wanted to be around me before. But then summer came, and so she didn't live down the hall in the dorms anymore, and she didn't come in my room and jump on my roommates bed anymore, and we didn't watch movies together anymore, and she didn't cry on my shoulder when she needed me anymore. She had other friends for that, other outlets, people closer to her, both emotionally, and physically. I had just been a friend of oppritunity, proximity.
So now we get to the song. These are the lines that hit me hardest out of the song:
"I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel"
I'm lonely again, there's not much for me, i've been disregared, left behind.
I have my issues with adjusting to things, but it's because i don't know where to go or what to do, i'm learning on the go.
I've got scars, and everyone can see them, i'm awkward to be around, and nobody can see far enough past these scars to understand me, get to know me, or help me. She was the only one that has ever done that, and now she's gone.
I want her to want me, like i need her. I want her to feel what i feel and understand why i feel it.
"So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got"
I watched her leave, and i let her go because that's what she wanted, she's turned away from me.
I feel like she is pretending i don't exist, even though i know that's not the case, because this is my general experience with everyone else.
While she's gone, i'll wait here, right where she left me, because i don't know where else to go, i dont' know what my purpose is otherwise. I can't feel anything without her here, and she's all i have, literally. I don't have anyone or anything else.
"I can't feel the way I did before"
This one has three meanings for me. 1) I can't go back to where i was, not now that i've seen where i've come from, 2) I'm numb without her, there is no happiness, or saddness, or anger and 3) I can't feel useful anymore because she's the only thing that's made me useful ever.
"Time won't heal this damage anymore"
My damages can't be healed more, by time, waiting won't help me, but i have no place to go.
I literally have nothing else in my life except her, but she's not here. I wish i could just move forward on a path, but she was the path, there is no road to follow anymore, and going back isn't an option. Staying where i am is my only choice.
I don't think anyone has ever gone through what i've gone through, and i know nobody has felt what i feel now, i don't think anyone really knows what it's like to have just 1 thing in life. One single possesion, feeling, and all inclusive outlet, and lose it. There just isn't chartered territory to say what to do now except wait for something to happen.
I know this song wasn't written to mean what it does to me, but for me, i can make this song realate. If i could write this whole portion of my life down, this song would be its theme for me.
I see it as a social outcast (nerd or emo) who had spent many years of holding on to his anger (like rejections and no friends) and this is a song which lets out all of his anger. The line "hand full of complains but i cant help that everyone can see these scars" suggests that he might've done something really embarrassing or bad, and that's the only reason people remember him by, the only thing they see.
It is also a love-hate song, directed to a girl who doesn't understand that the guy likes her, and always ignores him, and this song is his confrontation to the girl, and everyone else who ignored him before
Anyway, that's my interpretation.
like they don't hear me
and like they're just going to go on with their life
doing stuff that's not good for them
no matter how many times i have tried to get them to hear me out
but i guess i just can't my point across
cause i don't really make much sense when i try to discuss emotion stuff
so i mostly relate to
"I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand, I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
I am what you never want to say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you
For once just to hear me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got"
basically describing how i feel with this friend
and how i feel as if they don't want me around
even though they claim im the only one who cares about them
when they push me aside alot of times
but they are the one friend i really got
just hoping we can solve things if i decide to tell her the full truth
with no hesitation or hiding
which is why i can relate to this part
"I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Hear me out now
You're going to listen to me
Like it or not
Right now
Hear me out now
You're going to listen to me
Like it or not
Right now"
though i have yet to tell her how i truly feel
the brutal truth which hides well with in me
this part is the me inside
that just wants to tear her a new one
sorry if this is long
or seems pathetic
it's just "what this song means to me"
The reason why i wanted to stay in that friend group before was unbelievable, i was actually afraid to losing them before, but now i know that i must lose friends in order to gain new ones. I happened to hang out with my old friends that i stupidly abandoned in order to hang out with my old friend group from before. My old friends accepting me again makes me feel special, i hope they will be my friends forever.
Classic Linkin Park, monologue directed at an unfair lover. This song is about, once again, lashing out at someone that has been unjust in a relationship. Mike Shinoda’s verses outline all of the things that you would want that terrible lover to hear. And the rest is an aggressive attempt at being heard.
One of their best songs.
wow goodbarmr5 i didnt think anyone else but me saw it like that but me. Well i don't agree entirely with you but I think you've come closer then any one to the deeper meaning of the song, at least to me any ways. I also see alot of, for the lack of a better word, religious paralells in this song and most of LP's music.
Rather then religion or god, i see the singer talking about more of a higher consiousness that he himself has reached and is now living in.(which can go hand in hand with be religious or godlike). I can see this song sort of being from the point of view of a priest or preacher.
"I am, what i want you to want, what i want you to feel. but its like no matter what i do, i can't convince you, to just belive this is real".
I see this line as the singer refeering to others who are trying, or the singer is trying to help, to reach the same place but just can't bring themselves to beleive it even exists, and theres nothing the singer can do to make them beleive.
"So I,let go watching you, turn your back like you always do, face away and pretend that I'm not, but i'll be here cause you're all that i got"
This describes the singer being feedup with the others giving up on him and his pov, but he won't give up on them because he feels he must "show them the light" so to speak.
""'Cause you don't understand, I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense"
Different Religions teach that God's ways are higher then ours and we would never have the intellectual capacity to understand why He does what he does"
I see this almost exactly the the same as you goodbarmr5 but i might substitute god for the singer himself.
When i forst read your inpretation of "god being a small minded ego maniac that needs us more then we need him" i thought you were way off but now i realize i'd just state it a little diferently. I think that could relate to how a person of higher consciousness,a priest or perhaps god, is lonely due to being isolated by his elevation from everyone else. he may feel he needs to save others by showing them the light, becaues he has no one else and indeed amy need them more then they need him.
All that bein said i could be completely wrong, would be nice to hear what the writer of the lyrics intended to mean. either way its nice to hear someone digging deep into the lyrics for once, let me know what you guys think.