Lyrics for Jerk-Off as interpreted by dank

Jerk-Off Lyrics
Someone told me once
that there's a right and wrong,
and that punishment
would come to those
who dare to cross the line.

But it must not be true
for jerk-offs like you.
Maybe it takes longer to catch a total asshole.
but I'm tired of waiting.
Maybe it's just bullshit and I should play GOD,
and shoot you myself.
Because I'm tired of waiting.

Consequences dictate
our course of action
and it doesn't matter what's right.
It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD
and shoot you myself.
I'm very tired of waiting.

I should
kick you,
beat you,
fuck you,
and then shoot you in your fucking head.

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  • 55 Comments
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DownedSystem
02-03-2002

Rated 0 
Its pretty obvious as to the meaning of this great song: Being pissed off at someone so much that you want to beat the shit out of them. Knowing Maynard, theres probably a deeper meaning to this that i don't know about. Great song nonetheless.

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insurgento
04-05-2002

Rated 0 
in my opinion:
It seems like he's talking 'bout the government, they tell what's right and wrong, they punish you when you're doing something against the law while they're often corrupt themselves. (makes me think of "Know your enemy" by RATM where Maynard is singing some lines, it's about the same period)
The GOD might link to "God bless America", when there isn't allways a lot of reason why God would bless a total asshole

But still then, it could mean anything else

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Nyfe
04-14-2002

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There is a wonderful meaning of this and a few other tool songs in an interview with maynard, here's the link:

http://www.cdicarlo.com/paper_04maynard.htm

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joshthack
04-19-2002

Rated 0 
You can feel Maynard's rage in the entire album, and in undertow as well. I think it comes out most in this song, "Shoot you in your fucking head."

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SuZy Q
05-01-2002

Rated 0 
Obviously MJK explaining that no one person should be able to say what is wrong or what is right. And the "Jerk-offs" who set the standard for what is socially acceptable and what is not, have no right to set the standard.

"It's only wrong if you get caught." Means the "Jerk'offs" who set the standards do not follow them. Therefore he is tired of waiting for them to get caught in their wrong doings.

That is just my interpretation.

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adamizer
05-14-2002

Rated 0 
He's talking about someone who never gets what is coming to them. Saying somehow the rules don't apply to you. Speaking of karma and whatnot. Not very difficult. Maybe you should write your own songs so you can stop trying to feel intelligent by decoding somebody elses.

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MrBungle
05-14-2002

Rated 0 
I think this song is about the illusion of free will. I believe we do not have free will to choose what we do, our bodies (including our brain) must follow the laws of physics and so our actions are a consequence of how the universe is. And therefore there is no right and wrong. "it's only wrong if you get caught" but the singer hates this line of thinking because of it's anarchic consequences. So he feels it would be poetic justice for the consequences of his thinking to be him shooting the advocate of this philosophy in the head.

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adamizer
05-15-2002

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MrBungle is a fuckpuddle. Maynard said it's theme is loosely based around an ethic system called consequentialism. He says a knife is a tool in one persons hand and a weapon in the other, the choice is up to the wielder. However, mrbungle, thanks for spewing your bullshit and allowing the masses to once again be assaulted by the views of the ignorant.

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sinkinboat
06-03-2002

Rated 0 
I'm starting to wonder if maynard was raped by a priest

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joshthack
06-06-2002

Rated 0 
Yo adamizer I don't mean to put you down, but maybe you're the ignorant one. You wouldn't know it because you're ignorant, so any idea that doesn't fit your schema you call ignorant. In the mind of an ignorant person it makes sense, doesn't it? hehehe

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Justin-Tool
06-08-2002

Rated 0 
I believe that Suzy Q put it the best. My interpratation is simply based on the questioning of authority. We are born and placed into roles, which are foisted upon us, and we are expected to act a certian way. When someone breaks this fragile reality, they are cast out by society, because, believe this, they auctually thought for themselves. In a general overview, Maynard is posing the question "Who the fuck gave anyone (society) the right to determine what is right and wrong"? The song basically states how Maynard defys society, by stepping out of line.
Though, it also explains how the people who set the standards often break them.
Example: The (John Wayne Gacy) Popes who like to ass rape little kids. Isn't it ironic how the church sets those standards and those priests preach them every Sunday, though they don't really have a second that about breaking what they preach.
In conclusion, Maynard decides to take matters into his own hands, because he infers that society will never change. Therfore, he kills (metaphor) whomever he is singing about. The metaphor is pretty much and action which would exploit the lies and hypocrisy of the authorities.

FUck CHurch, Fuck The Government, Fuck Society, Tool Is Fucking Awesome....Learn To Swim

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EnragedGoober
06-30-2002

Rated 0 
I think it's about how I like to jerk off my neighbor's cat...

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ARMTHEARMLESS
07-02-2002

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enraged goober makes a good point :D

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ARMTHEARMLESS
07-02-2002

Rated 0 
whoa, did anyone else know it was july 2nd? fuck, i lost track of time, still thought it was june

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mondain_II
08-20-2002

Rated 0 
yeah dude admizer got it right. maynard himself explained it in an interview. He is saying that basically, once the fear of being caught is gone, anyone will do what they think they can get away with.

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InciTe
08-21-2002

Rated 0 
MrBungle has got it right. adamizer & maynard are full of shit. now who's going to be the first jerk-off to point out the obvious?

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chino69
09-17-2002

Rated 0 
I can relate on the basic level of knowing a girl you like who stays with a real asshole. This person treats her like shit yet she stays with him.

Also, "nice people finish last" come to mind because Maynard is saying why do the assholes get everything they want while maybe he tries to do good for himself and the world. Everything comes full circle and what you do in life gets done back to you ... but sometimes it seems not soon enough.



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axe39
09-24-2002

Rated 0 
this song is saying no matter what laws their r ppl r goin to break them no matter the consequences! and so what if they do break them, who says it is right or wrong? their is no higher power, so who is dictating what is right and wrong? humans r playing god and taking right and wrong into their own hands, these ppl at the same time r abusing this power and getting away wit their "wrong" actions therefore being hypocrites!

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Enjoi353
03-29-2005

Rated 0 
read the interview that Nyfe had the link for above... ull understand a lot more.... the song is basically saying that while there are rules and standards... if u cant get caught then there are no rules for u and u can do whatever u want.... its also about choice...and choosing what to do with the power thats been given to u... maynard said that (and im paraphrasing) "take a knife for example, u can use it for a lot of things like spreading butter or cutting ur bread... but u can also use it to kill someone".... hes basically pointing out the flaws in our society we live in today "its only wrong if u get caught"

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Enjoi353
03-29-2005

Rated 0 
read the interview that Nyfe had the link for above... ull understand a lot more.... the song is basically saying that while there are rules and standards... if u cant get caught then there are no rules for u and u can do whatever u want.... its also about choice...and choosing what to do with the power thats been given to u... maynard said that (and im paraphrasing) "take a knife for example, u can use it for a lot of things like spreading butter or cutting ur bread... but u can also use it to kill someone".... hes basically pointing out the flaws in our society we live in today "its only wrong if u get caught"

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tvisthedevil
05-24-2005

Rated 0 
IN RESPONSE TO: adamizer

FUCK OFF! Do you realize the ultimate purpose of words, language, can you comprehend the purpose of lyrics and understanding IDEAS? Obviously you don't realize the ultimate share of knowledge. Blow your brains out. Yes, we should all be writing our own songs and being creative instead of only analytical, but there is NOTHING WRONG with being analytical, especially if there is an important REASON to be. You obviously think you're smarter than everyone else because you tell us to write our own songs instead of analyzing everyone else's, but LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! YOU REGISTERED AN ACCOUNT WITH, what website? oh, that's right! "SONGMEANINGS.NET" Don't fuck with anybody's ideas and rights and freedoms, you ASSHOLE. I'll ready to shoot you in your fucking head! FUCK!

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Zedlen
08-11-2005

Rated 0 
Its about that person that does what ever he wants and never gets whats coming to him .

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cutyou
08-16-2005

Rated 0 
this song is about relationships

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sta515
10-04-2005

Rated 0 
I think he's referring to nazis or any groups who think that they are above the law- right and wrong don't apply, maybe he is talking about the "assholes" as idiots like this as termites or roaches that need to be "systematically removed". I mean you look at extreme right-wing skinhead websites and it just makes you feel sick, Like when i listen to this song, it makes me think of people like David Duke etc. and what needs to be done to them, whenever i hear of someone i hate i think of this song.

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JuFu
12-05-2005

Rated 0 
I think this refers to the Harry Manback guy. If you listen to the very beggining of this song and know everything about the story of Harry Manback and his phone messages.

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