In a November 2001 interview in the Ontarion, Keenan said the following about the song:...
I have come curiously close to the end, down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole,
Defeated, I concede and
Move closer
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness
How pitiful
It's calling me
And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
The moon tells me a secret, my confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me
Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting
And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here feeding my narcissism.
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out
Before I pine away.
So crucify the ego, before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical,
And you will come to find that we are all one mind
Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable.
Just let the light touch you
And let the words spill through
And let them pass right through
Bringing out our hope and reason
Before we pine away.
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole,
Defeated, I concede and
Move closer
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness
How pitiful
It's calling me
And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
The moon tells me a secret, my confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me
Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting
And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here feeding my narcissism.
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out
Before I pine away.
So crucify the ego, before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical,
And you will come to find that we are all one mind
Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable.
Just let the light touch you
And let the words spill through
And let them pass right through
Bringing out our hope and reason
Before we pine away.
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
'So crucify the ego, before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical,
And you will come to find that we are all one mind
Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable.'
In summary, let shit go. Kill your ego.
I guess it may include that message but not because he hated something about the world but he's trying to reject the superficial and meaningless existence that human race has created, in order to embrace a deepest truth that goes further beyond the physical dimension
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/…
My Interpretation:
I see a man who has come to realize he's disgusted with the person he's become. He fears it's too late to turn away, he's gone too far, and perhaps he should simply embrace it (the ego, or "self-indulgent pitiful hole"). Then, in the pit of his disgrace, he has an epiphany. The moon, as "full and bright" as it is, cannot and does not rely on its own self to be at its "maximum," as it were. It seeks the light from the "sun," an endless source of energy and life (for this planet, at least). Just like it, the man should seek guidance, recognize his own imperfections, and accept help from a "higher order" (be it reason, religion, spirituality, anything), in order to be truly whole or happy, or reach a sort of enlightenment. But when you just accept yourself as you are, you're no better than the moon without the sun, just a "lifeless satellite"
The man understands, he wants to change what he's become, he doesn't need to sit and simply suffer his 'narcissistic' existence anymore - he wants to be alive. Now that he truly believes he can be saved from himself, he turns to the audience and gives his sort of testimony and call to action. He cries out that we join him in a search for truth, to cast our our pitiful judgements of one another, to want something more than simply what we've come to understand in this world. It's not some contract, X number of years on earth for some heaven after death; rather, it's a promise for a happy life in the now. This world offers so much more than many have witnessed, and he begs we not spare ourselves its beauty and a chance to see beyond our ego. Our lives are a journey and there's only so many steps we can take before "we pine away," so don't take it for granted.
I don't claim any superior knowledge over anyone who has or hasn't taken any drugs, meditated, gone through life changing experiences, nor is it my intention to give off that tone. That's what I hear when I listen to this song, and I'm sure I'm not alone. :)
Simply on a personal note, I first listened to this song before I'd ever taken any drugs. I don't claim they are the "key" to understanding the song, or even that it has any relation to drugs whatsoever. However, I thought I understood it then, more or less, but didn't exactly connect with it.
I have come curiously close to the end, down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole,
Defeated, I concede and
Move closer
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness
How pitiful. …it’s calling me.
This is the dark night of the soul. A deep depression every spiritual seeker goes through. Eventually we all get to this point where the suffering is so tremendous we start looking for a way to end it. It is like the divine is calling you to find it.
And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
The moon tells me a secret - my confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me
The moon is a common theme for spiritual teachers. The dharma is just a finger pointing to the moon. You grasp at the finger (the teacher or teaching), when it’s as simple as looking at the moon (absolute reality). In these lyrics, there is an understanding in the subject that the moon’s light is not its own, it is only an illusion; Maya.
Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting
Obviously, the source of light is the sun. In the allegory of the cave, Socrates uses the Sun to represent pure goodness which is in all of us. It is our divine nature. We are all that. We just don’t know it. The ascent up causes a disorienting blur of the senses and eventually your union with permanent bliss. If we can remember this, we will never suffer again.
And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't wanna be down here feeding my narcissism.
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out
Before I pine away.
To attain the selfless state, one must kill the ego. The Buddha taught this constantly, using the word atman which can be used to mean transcendent Self or ego self. The ego is the illusion of who you think you are. Enlightenment is the complete destruction of this view. The light of the transcendent self will lift you out. Only you can help you.
So crucify the ego, before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical,
And you will come to find that we are all one mind
Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable.
Just let the light touch you
And let the words spill through
And let them pass right through
Bringing out our hope and reason ...
before we pine away.
The best lines of the song, the subject realizes truth and the endless possibilities of life. We are all literally one mind capable of all that’s imagined and conceivable. Now he is free and genuinely qualifies as a human being pouring out love and compassion into the world. He is telling you to let this love (light from the sun) pour and spill through you before you pine away, endlessly longing for something better.
It seems to be a bad acid trip, which induces ego death in the guy tripping. This will be long...
For a start, the first 5 minutes sound completely unnatural,somewhat alien. Then;
"I have come curiously close to the end, down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole, defeated I
Concede and move closer, I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness, how pitiful"
I hear a troubled man who has taken acid or something similar, and it hasn't gone well. In the peak, it is pure hell, hence "curiously close to the end". He can feel his destruction coming. He is trying to act curious about it, trying to make sense of it all, but he is breaking down. He attempts to embrace it ("Concede, and move closer") but thats not working. It's destroying the light inside him, taking it away. He somehow barely understands that the flawed experience is probably part of him, old experiences which cause him pain, that he may have been trying to escape.
"And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
The moon tells me a secret, my confidant
As full and bright as I am, this light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me "
Here the moon seems to be actually talking to him (probably to do with the fact he is tripping balls) and those last two lines are what the moon says. A confidant is someone you trust and aspire to, and in that context it makes sense. He is told that even though the overwhelming fear he feels seems like it is ripping his light away, he is like the moon, all illumination from another origin. His soul and thoughts are not really his own, just part of a universal consciousness, and he uses this to remind himself that the fear cannot harm him.
"It's source is bright and endless, she resuscitates the hopeless
Without her we are lifeless satellites dreamin' dreams"
This source is the universal consciousness I just mentioned. I get this idea from a Bill Hicks quote which is actually quoted in 'Third Eye';
"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."
The man has this realization and this singular consciousness becomes his source of hope in this terrifying state. With concepts taking place in mind, his state begins to change.
"And as I pull my head out, I am without one doubt, don't want to be down here soothing my narcissism"
He begins to touch base with the new reality he has conceived. He wants to come back to the sane world, he wants to live a new life, he wants to leave the troubles he obsessed over behind.
"I must crucify the ego before it's far too late, I pray the light lifts me out"
He realizes he can do this in his state, and that he needs to do it right there and then, or he may never make it out of this hellish state. He needs to confront and battle these demons or they will never leave him alone. He prays he will win and resurface from hell after...
"Before I pine away
Before I pine away
Before I pine away
Before I pine away"
He feels the fear that he may actually never get to see this new life. He might become a vegetable, and end up thinking he's a sunflower or something...
"So crucify the ego before it's far too late to leave behind this place, so negative and blind and cynical"
A simpler version of what I've said before. He needs to kill the part of him which worries so much over the superficial parts of life which made him "negative and blind and cynical", to accept the past and move on and out, because that is the only way to escape this state of mind which is essentially his old life and state of mind collapsing down onto him.
"And you will come to find that we are all one mind, capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable"
Almost a recital of that Bill Hicks quote, he is reminding himself that in truth he cannot be harmed, he can move on and will make it out.
"Just let the light touch you and let the words spill through, just let them pass right through, bringing out our hope and reason"
He is using the belief of one consciousness to draw himself out, and drawing from it to help give him the strength, to endure, and to wake up.
"Before I pine away
Before I pine away
Before I pine away
Before I pine away"
The trip seems to fade. It seems unresolved how it ends, whether he made it out to appreciate his life like he hoped, or whether his past state of mind crushed his thoughts and he lost his incarnation of consciousness, or if he was absorbed into the singular mind, waking up from the dream leaving a shell behind. If it was biographical of MJK, well he obviously made it out didn't he?
My long-winded interpretation. Beautiful music however you take it!