Lyrics for Hooker with a Penis as interpreted by implode

Hooker with a Penis Lyrics
I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a
Dope Beastie t, nipple rings, and
New tattoos that claimed that he
Was OGT,
Back in '92,
From the first EP

And in between
Sips of Coke
He told me that
He thought
We were sellin' out,
Layin' down,
Suckin' up
To the man

Well now I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy
Before you point the finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

And if I'm the man,
Then you're the man, and
He's the man as well so you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck
I sold out long before you ever heard my name

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one

So I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy
Before you point your finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

If I'm the fuckin' man
Then you're the fuckin' man as well
So you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck
I sold out long before you ever heard my name

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one

All you read and
Wear or see and
Hear on TV
Is a product
Begging for your
Fatass dirty
Dollar

So...Shut up and

Buy my new record
Send more money
Fuck you, buddy

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  • 221 Comments
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xnicole
12-02-2001

Rated 0 
I absolutely love this song.

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Parabola898
01-12-2002

Rated 0 
lol ive never heard it but the lyrics are fucking hilarious

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*SoBeR~STiNKFiST*
01-27-2002

Rated 0 
this is such a kickass song
one of my favorite of the Ænima album

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GuythDan
02-03-2002

Rated +1 
This is about some kid talking to Maynard about Undertow. The kid, declaring himself a true Tool fan (OGT - Original Gangsta Tool) apparently called MJK a sellout for releasing Undertow, a major label record. Maynard turns his words around into the chorus that says, "We all participate in capitalism, so by saying you don't like it, you're being hypocritical." He goes on to say that the kid knows nothing about him except for what Maynard lets him know, so he's in no position to tell him how to live. Just invest in Tool and your soul is safe.

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1 Reply
Poptarts047
02-11-2002

Rated 0 
the first tool song i heard, it made me a fan

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ninpunk420
03-04-2002

Rated 0 
this song is about bands selling out.It's really bad ass cuz he can say he sold out but tool still kiicks assand if someone other than maynard said they sold out i'd kick their ass.

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christopher1260
03-30-2002

Rated 0 
a big fuck you to all---i love maynard!!! i especially like "all you know about me is what i sold you" how true!

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ColdandUgly
04-05-2002

Rated 0 
This is the easiest tool song to understand...It's about capitalism. so this system is a hooker, cause it will sell out to anyone at anymean necesary, and has a penis cause eventualy it's going to fuck you...so the capitalism is a Hooker with a Penis

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Galactic Cactus
04-17-2002

Rated +1 
I disagree. I don't think that he's saying capitalism is the H w/ a P, He's saying that HE's the H w/ a P. He's like "You know what buddy, (I love when he says buddy!) I might have sold myself (hooker), but I'M still the one who fucking YOU!(-he's got the cock) So fuck you." That's what it is. Most definitely.

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bjm2m5
04-18-2002

Rated 0 
Galactic Cactus hit it on the head. The song isnt about Capitalism. Tool isn't a political band!! When is everyone going to realize that.

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joshthack
04-19-2002

Rated 0 
you gotta' love this song, he curses out his own record and his fans.

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watchthefireworks
04-25-2002

Rated 0 
Although I always thought this was about capitalism, I have to admit that Galactic Cactus' theory makes a lot of sense. In my English 1 class, we were going into depth on capitalism and I wrote an entire essay on this song and how it portrays capitalism... my teacher (an older hippie guy) asked if I could bring in the CD so he could hear the song and he dug it. Even though I'm not sure if I believe it's about capitalism anymore, I have to admit, I B.S.ed a really damn good essay.

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superman9k
04-28-2002

Rated 0 
they might not be a political band, but capitalism does play a role in the song's meaning. everything you see is a product with a message, and tool is no different, as maynard explains. i think galactic cactus got the meaning of the song title, although coldandugly applied the same meaning to a broader range of people just like maynard (hookers w/ penises). and isn't that what capitalism is made up of?

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theprynce
05-03-2002

Rated 0 
I really don't think it's about that God-Aweful thing we call 'Capitalism'. I think it's just as the other guy had said... the Undertow thing. No matter, it's an extremely funny song. Somehow, though, I can't help but think there's some hidden theme in it! lol. How often does MJK say EXACTLY what he means? Galactic Cactus has a good theory for the title, though. I love this song (as I love all Tool songs :)). Ænima was just great. Wouldn't ya say? ;)

-The Prynce

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adamizer
05-14-2002

Rated 0 
I hate you all. He's fucking talking about the nerve this kid has to come up to him and critique him when he basically had to bare his soul to write the music, and the kid bought it anyway. People hate being told what to do and especially being told what they're doing is wrong.

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Avatara
05-14-2002

Rated 0 
All I have to say is why does this song have the rating it does? What fool rated it low? This song is not only hilarious but it brings a good point across and is just entertaining. The chorus is great to sing along with. Tool will always be a great band.

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Victory March
05-18-2002

Rated 0 
He's baisically laughing at the kid. The kid thinks he knows it all "holier than thou" attitude, realizes how dumb he by pointing it out. Maynard makes a fool of the kid, makes him look like an idiot, by showing him how far it actually went, how everyone's a sellout, and how hypocritical he's being...
That was my view, but if anyhting GuythDan is the only one who really knows what he's talking about.

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BrokenSword
05-19-2002

Rated 0 
I don't think that the lyrics has any "deeper" meaning. It's just Maynard's answer to some punk ass kid who thinks he knows it all.

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Thirdeyeopen
05-21-2002

Rated 0 
This song is percieved in alot of different ways. Basically this kid is walking around in this name brand shit trying to say he's OGT and telling Maynard he's a sellout. It is a statement Maynard is making saying how hipocritical it is to judge a person you don't know anything about, saying that he has sold out when everyone is guilty of it. "all you know about me is what i've sold you" The members of Tool are fucking artists, they don't need anyone trying to limit what they do or reduce it to "not good enough"

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adamizer
05-23-2002

Rated 0 
See here...Maynard is astounded by this kids obvious oversight....MJK is part of Tool...it's his life and words...how can he sell out his own words?

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Thirdeyeopen
05-23-2002

Rated 0 
what? sell out on his own words? what the hell are you talking about?


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Thirdeyeopen
05-23-2002

Rated 0 
what? sell out on his own words? what the hell are you talking about?


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Thirdeyeopen
05-23-2002

Rated 0 
what? sell out on his own words? what the hell are you talking about?


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no one important
05-27-2002

Rated 0 
How do you make the 'AE' thing?

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C Mo
06-06-2002

Rated -4 
This song sucks ass, Tool's gay

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