I'm losing ground
You know how this world can beat you down
I'm made of clay
I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way
I'm always falling down the same hill
Bamboo puncturing this skin
And nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall I'm
Drowning in
Two feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face
And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel
I stay inside my bed
I have lived so many lives all in my head
Don't tell me that you care
There really isn't anything, is there?
You would know, wouldn't you?
You extend your hand to those who suffer
To those who know what it really feels like
To those who've had a taste
Like that means something
And oh so sick I am
And maybe I don't have a choice
And maybe that is all I have
And maybe this is a cry for help
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters



Lyrics submitted by implode

Track duration: 05:41

"I Do Not Want This" as written by Trent Reznor

Lyrics © THE BICYCLE MUSIC COMPANY

Lyrics powered by LyricFind


I Do Not Want This song meanings
Add your thoughts

34 Comments

sort form View by:
  • +1
    General Comment:I find this song to be a cry for help from the protagonist, and for once, it is a physical calling. Perhaps he has called his ex who left him in Piggy, or an old friend, or he is trying to get therapy. He describes how he feels, what Mr. Self-Destruct/the Ruiner/the voice has turned him into. Unfortunately enough, the combination of his own selfishness and Mr. Self-Destruct's influences cause him to lash out when the person on the receiving end of his pleas tries to help (don't tell me that you care; don't you tell me how I feel). Thus, he only succeeds in going further down the spiral, as he only isolates himself more by driving off other people, which highly benefits the Ruiner. Finally, in the last part of the song, he expresses his discontent for his life at an all-time high. His mental stability has gone to hell, his life is boring, he does not want this, but he's only making himself sink faster.
    Flag HammerFloydon September 25, 2011   Link
  • 0
    Song Meaning:This song is about the physical and emotion pain sustained by the beast when he is shot in the head the first time and loses his piggies. (Probably in an eye causing the vision impairment mentioned.) The phrase "I do not want this." refers both to the escapism which overwhelms him and drives him to hardcore opiate abuse, and also the reaction to the slander that he wanted these things to manifest in his life so that he could become someone important.
    Flag MisterFrogon November 03, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:i believe this is the stage in the album when the character's lover returns after betraying him and tries to tell him whats wrong with his views or feelings. While inside, he knows he needs the help, his previous temporary surrender to the voices in the becoming are clouding his judgement. Yet again, the voices have won.
    Flag Exaltedon July 31, 2009   Link
  • -4
    General Comment:you know what kinda pisses me off? how people fucking dwell in their depression and don't have jobs, they seriously stay in bed for days. i would stay in bed for fucking days if i didn't have bills and other responsibilities. but we don't all have that luxury. THAT is fucking depressing.
    Flag ginadoll187on February 16, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Clearly this about some kind of depression - when you feel dejected.

    "Maybe this is a cry for help".
    It's very paradoxical. He wants to be helped, but he can't stand it when people try to help him. He is tired of people telling him how he feels, and he want them to do something about it, instead of coming around with all their supercilious attitudes. But when you're feeling down your view becomes so biased that you can't see, that there are other people out there, who actually understand you and know what they are talking about.

    "2 feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face,
    And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place"

    This makes me think, that maybe Reznor isn't completely lost. There is one person, who can save him. Whoever that is.

    And the last, repeated part is about how he feels powerless and insignificant in this world.
    Flag Afterthebattleon January 25, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:This song is about being stuck in a depressive state and the desire to break out of it and to become one with the world and everyone in it.

    The character feels that his true self has been oppressed, if not fully destroyed, and usurped by the will of others. The line "I am made of clay" reveals that he feels he lacks a definite sense self, which means others can mold him into what they want him to be. To make matters worse, his depressive state is isolating because he thinks he's the only one who feels the way he does.

    The character is continually making the same mistakes over and over again and thus feels stuck in an endless series of failures and disappointments until it all seems hopeless. He feels empty and is drowning in his own self pity and misery. However, there is a glimpse of hope. He is reaching out to someone who he thinks could save him from his misery if that other person could understand him.

    He doesn't want to be depressed anymore.

    Then things get worse. The character begins staying in bed all day, fantasizing about all the different lives he could live if he weren't stuck in bed being depressed all day, which only makes it worse. Now resentment creeps in and the character is becoming angry because he is stating to believe that there really isn't anything real, that everything is just in people's minds and he doesn't want to hear false sentiments that others care about him. Seems like he's yelling at an ex-lover when she tells him that she still cares about him, or he's yelling a psychiatrist who is telling him the same thing. His yelling is probably not actual but him imagining himself yelling at whoever he is angry with, playing it all out in his imagination.

    People start giving him the old "I know what you're going through, I know how you feel" bit and this really makes him angry because the thinks other people have no idea how bad he really feels.

    Finally he wants to feel connected with other people that he will do anything to achieve that goal. He wants to experience all of life's options and experiences and want to feel at one with everyone via sex. He wants his life to have mattered to other people.







    is a hint that he feels his personality is nothing more than what he has been taught to be.
    Flag Joe K. on December 27, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:the psychiatrist thing really makes sense to me, i've felt exactly the same as the character in the song, it almost scares me how much i can identify with it

    there was a day, when i was trying to tell my problems to him(my psychiatrist), to make him understand how hard it was.

    and them he began to say a lot of things and i was pissed off, literaly telling him "don't tell me how i feel, you don't know how i feel, you can't know how i feel!".

    really desperate, in that room, trying to make him understand that i was going insane, that the pills weren't helping, that he needed to give me another med or something...

    and he says that no, i was already taking what i should take, and that only myself could save myself.

    the reason i'm telling all this is because i really feel that i can relate to this song, it explains pretty much everything i felt and thought that day, and that "you would know..." part fits perfectly to a psychiatrist and his patient.
    Flag Ikzon October 25, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:while having issues sleeping last night, i was at the point where you fade in and out of consciousness.. This song was on, which i never really payed too much attention to.. (with songs like reptile, march of the pigs, mr self destruct and TDS)this one got a bit overlooked.. heh, however, i came up with a highly unlikely but interesting vision for it..
    The first few paragraphs describe the character sitting in a room expressesing himself to a psychiatrist..

    When the psychiatrist begins to assess him, he becomes very angry
    "and don't you tell me how I feel
    don't you tell me how I feel
    don't you tell me how I feel
    you don't know just how I feel"

    he then resumes, with the next verse, speaking to the psych.
    "I stay inside my bed
    I have lived so many lives all in my head
    and don't tell me that you care
    there really isn't anything now, is there?"


    "you would know, wouldn't you?
    you extend your hand to those who suffer
    to those who know what it really feels like
    to those who've had a taste
    like that means something
    and oh so sick I am
    and maybe I don't have a choice
    and maybe that is all I have
    and maybe this is a cry for help"
    Dead giveaway with the 'you extend your hand to those who suffer, (a crack at the way they try to 'help' people, and 'to those who really know what it feels like, to those who've had a taste".. another observation at how the psych works with people who know what it feels like and have had a taste of depression, insanity and the likes..

    the rest of the song is just the character going back into his shell..
    Flag brokenmachine22on October 21, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Sometimes in life, the world really does beat you down. Other people just get to be too much. Your family and friends act like they know what's going through your head, and how you're feeling, but they don't know. Nobody can really understand what you're thinking and feeling except for you. That's the whole "You don't know just how I feel".

    The "I'm always falling down the same hill" verse is one I've felt pretty frequently. Everything goes wrong, over and over again. Every time you try to fix things, or make yourself "a new person", or just try to get over your old problems, the same damn ones just come right back again, and it feels like it'll all never end.

    The part about staying in bed and living lives in your head is I think pretty literal. I've stayed in bed for days before, just laying there, wishing things were different. Wishing my life was different. Wishing I was different. Imagining a new me and a new life, and almost playing out stories in my head of what I wish my life was like.

    "You would know, wouldn't you?" This verse is describing how there's people in your life that try to help you out, and act like they know what you're going through. In your mind though, you just know that they've never felt what you're feeling right now. They've never felt such intense depression and anger "you extend a hand to those who suffer, to those who know what it really feels like" and they try to help people that have felt those feelings, while they've never felt them themselves. Usually, they're people that don't seem very bright, too. Either that, or they're just the kind of people that you can't ever imagine feeling depressed.

    The "oh so sick I am" is realizing you have a problem, and admitting it. And you DO want help getting over it. You just want someone to help you make it all go away. But the people helping you, again, have never had "a taste of what it feels like".

    The "I want" section I think makes perfect sense, and ends the song perfectly, too. You want to know things. You want to go places. You want to fuck everyone. You want to do something that MATTERS. You want to make an impact. You want to mean something. YOU want to MATTER.

    This is quite possibly one of my favorite NIN songs. EVER.

    Is it that obvious I'm an angsty teen? XD
    Flag DJDangerJonason July 11, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Very succinct overview of depression. Once you get past all the screaming Nine Inch Nails are actually very good.
    Flag Wallamanageon April 30, 2008   Link

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

Back to top
explain