Lyrics for If I Had A $1000000 as interpreted by ojms

If I Had A $1000000 Lyrics
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car
(a nice Reliant automobile)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I had $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had $1000000
Maybe we could put a refrigerator in there
Wouldn't that be fabulous

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat
(but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Like a llama or an emu)
If I had $1000000
(if I had $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(All them crazy elephant bones)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I had $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more.
If I had $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would. We'd actually make the treefort from the
first chorus out of it. Mmm.

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress
(but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art
(a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey
(haven't you always wanted a monkey?)

If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
I'd be rich.

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  • 54 Comments
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epp88
05-04-2004

Rated 0 
their original song. a million bucks canadian bucks is worth less than a million us bucks, but its still over 700k, none the less. its a very funny song, about some poor people trying to dream big. however, you can see that the have small dreams, like wanting a k-car and kraft macaroni

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bnlcraze
05-28-2004

Rated 0 
I have to say that this is probably me one of my favourite barenaked ladies song its witty and it has a catchy tune i know people who dont even like bnl (obviously they're crazy) and they know this song
if i had a million bucks i would be spending my money in different ways but its sweet that they want to give it to a girl, even if they do think that money will make a girl like them which isnt true, and not spend it totally on themselves you have to admire that i think that the barenaked ladies have a million dollars now and i wonder if they actually got anything from their song

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fotodave
06-18-2004

Rated 0 
yes, i *have* always wanted a monkey.

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grlatdarocksho22
06-22-2004

Rated 0 
bnl rocks... this songs about a guy who wants to go out with a girl but she wont and hes saying if he had the money, hes spend it on her and try to buy her love... but anywyas this song is mad fun and my friend who went to a concert said that when they got to the part about eating KRAFT dinner, people in the audience just randomly started throwing macaroni all over the place... sond MAD fun... wish i was there cuz that would be awesome!

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thejames
09-26-2004

Rated 0 
I'm pretty sure the guy before me is the first one to actually try to point out what this song is about, although I don't totally agree. I think mostly the song is just fun and its nice to dream sometimes... but if you really had to say what the meaning of the song is you could say its looking at poverty... but I think that's stretching it.

This song is the essence of BNL - comic, clever, and catchy! One of the Ladies' classics forever!

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Sanjuro
11-04-2004

Rated 0 
If I put a meaning to this song aside from fun as thejames pointed out, I would have to say I find that when they say if they had $1000000 they'd be rich, and they say they can buy the girls love I'd say it's actually that the love makes them rich. I mean, all the things they talk about are 'cute' little nice couple things and a dream a couple may have. IF I had the money I'd get you a great house. So on and on.

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Metallica42
03-20-2005

Rated 0 
I absolutely love the line that they would take a limo to the store. It's just funny if u stop and think, why would they still do they're own shoppin if they were rich?

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green_day_FREAK
03-31-2005

Rated 0 
yeah..that's right!!...hahaha...Nyways, it's a great song, and it's damn funny...

i love it!

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majestikmoose9
07-28-2005

Rated 0 
I wonder if this is the only song ever made that mentions John Merrick, the so-called "Elephant Man".

Anyway, great song. One of my favs. My friend got me into BNL a couple years ago and now I love them. :)

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River Wolf
09-02-2005

Rated 0 
This song is really funny and it makes me happy. It's also off Barenaked Ladies first album (which is also their best one and it has my favourite WHAT A GOOD BOY on it-listen to that song)

i really like how this song speaks out against animal cruelty

BNL are Canadian-hell yeah. Canada eh

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BNL13
09-12-2005

Rated 0 
While I appreciate the 'fun' of this song, I think it has an underlying air of sadness. While he could continue to spend his theoretical million dollars to try and buy her love, in the end he won't. Hence, all he would be is rich (giving the last line and the final sad chord at the end of the song in stark contrast to the rest). One of BNL's greatest attributes is the ability to take a depressing or morose topic (lost love, depression, domestic violence, alcoholism, mental illness, etc.) and put a musical spin on it that makes it oddly and sometimes distrubingly palatable.

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jenbebe
10-03-2005

Rated 0 
I find the song bittersweet, I guess... it's fun but it's a little bit sad, too. It makes tears roll down my cheeks for a couple of different reasons:

1) the gentle innocence of it. It's playful and sweet and there's nothing even remotely nasty about it. It's clever but almost childlike in the expression of desire for things like Kraft dinner or treeforts.

2) It reminds me of what it feels like to really love someone but to be unable to show it. The million dollars, and the objects that come with it, are in this sense only a metaphor for being able to give love in all its forms and in all the ways that it seeks its own expression.

The harmonizing in the "I'd buy your love" section is so lovely it makes my throat catch.

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TheSilverNoble
12-12-2005

Rated 0 
I think of it as a cute/naive song about being in love. One Million dollars is not the kind of money you can do that sort of stuff with. Espeically in Canada (not offense, but everything is more expensive in Canada, dollar wise. I assumed the curreccy is adjusted accordingly)
Also all the cute little lines. The monkey, driving the limo cause it costs more. And "not a real green dress, that's cruel," seems like a misunderstanding a little kid could make based one the fact that buying a real fur coat is cruel.
also the line about buying love... we've known you can't do that even before the Beatles reminded us. But it's something a little kid might think...

btw, I think it's "lamb" not an "emu," but i guess it could be their accents.

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Mr. Blue Sky
01-01-2006

Rated 0 
Went to a BNL New Years Concert last night, and this song is awesome live, I gotta tell you.

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tahwyas
01-05-2006

Rated 0 
LOL!

I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(All them crazy elephant bones)

Too funny.

You kinda got to feel bad for whoever posted these lyrics, having to type $1000000 like a 1000000 times! LOL!

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brigante133
01-14-2006

Rated 0 
i dunno which version i have heard but there is a part where they go off on being able to buy only the finest catsups... that was amazing.

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Elvishswimmer
04-08-2006

Rated 0 
So, we were playing Cranium, and we had to hum this song to our friends, and they had to guess. and they could get it! i was like "yes,i'm so going to get this one" but they obviously aren't such BNL fans as me. I thought that humming the "havn't you always wanted a mon-key" part be obvious, but they didn't think so. we even put in actions and they didnt get it *smacks head*

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TheSilverNoble
04-10-2006

Rated 0 
Oooooh, I get it, I get it! The line
"If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art
(a Picasso or a Garfunkel)"

Garfunkel! I get it! He misunderstood again. Gurnkel is probably from Simon and Garkfunkel. His first name was, you guessed it, Art!

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AmberAmelia
04-13-2006

Rated 0 
This is such a sweet song that always cheers me up. I love the line
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more.
I think it's cute.
And I LOVE
I'd buy you a green dress
(but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
that is the cutest thing I've ever heard.
This song is so genuine and sweet and I love BNL to death. And they are very attractive. And yeah they use dollars in Canada lol that's why everything we buy in the U.S. has another price next to the US price and it says Canada.. and has a higher price.

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TheSilverNoble
11-24-2006

Rated 0 
I very recently got to sing this song karaoke style with the girl I'm completly smitten with. It was very cool. I've wanted to do that ever since I heard the song, which I guess hasn't been that long... but still, it was a lot off fun.
I have nothing further to add, but this seemed like the best place for this.

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Zero_The_Hero
01-16-2007

Rated 0 
*mLe* said: ShiverForMe...are you serious that you didn't know that we use dollars in canada? ..shame, shame what did you think we used?

Well, I always thought you used some sort of system by which you traded trinklets for goods and services. I was way off. LOL. Anyway, this song is hilarious, "but not a real green dress, that's cruel" and "a Picasso or a Garfunkel" are my favorite lines.

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Susan_The_BassPlaye
11-28-2007

Rated 0 
It's a terrific song and very playful as the other posters have said. It seemed a little "strange" at first to have a couple of guys go back and forth on this song, but that's what makes it so good.

Anyways, the band I'm in has worked this into our shows too. We figured if a couple of guys who are non-gay (ie. Steven and Ed) could get away with performing this, so could a couple of opposite-sex siblings. We'll even ad-lib some "sibling rivalry" jokes into it. All in good fun and taste, that is. Kinda like this song!

One time, my bro threw in "I'd buy you John Wilkes Booth's remains just to throw me off (I do the "response" vocals on this song).

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Susan_The_BassPlaye
11-28-2007

Rated 0 
I forgot to add, it' simply a fun song to listen to and perform and sometimes get the audience involved in!

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hardyaf
04-11-2008

Rated 0 
While I do like this song and everything, shouldn't the main verse be if I had $600,000 (seeing as how they are Canadian...).

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bear_hug20
10-21-2008

Rated 0 
I think it's unfair to only like a band or group with how they look.
i've been listening to their song for such a quite time without even knowing what they look like, it's only because what impotant is their talent to write and sing.

such a wonderful band, and I like them so much, who cares why they look like, after all they don't look ugly anyway.

Just listen to their voices and imagine how handsome their voices are. lol :D

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