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I was staring at the sky, just lookin' for a star
To pray on or wish on or something like that
I was havin' a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality, I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag
Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love
And I went crazy again today, lookin' for a strand to climb
Lookin' for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on, put a little love here in my void
He said it's all in your head and I said so's everything but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love
Hunger hurts but I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love
Hunger hurts but I want him so bad, oh, it kills
Because I know that I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin', it works when it costs
Too much to love
To pray on or wish on or something like that
I was havin' a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality, I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag
Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love
And I went crazy again today, lookin' for a strand to climb
Lookin' for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on, put a little love here in my void
He said it's all in your head and I said so's everything but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love
Hunger hurts but I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love
Hunger hurts but I want him so bad, oh, it kills
Because I know that I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin', it works when it costs
Too much to love
Lyrics submitted by SNYder
Track duration: 03:39
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In reality, this song is about the pain and struggles of life after sexual assault and an eating disorder. She was raped at a young age and, like many girls and women who are sexually assaulted, developed an eating disorder. There are a lot of psychological complexities going on here - she has idealised this man and wants desperately for him to "save" her from her pain and her past, but ultimately she knows those two things, and how they have manifested into her adult life, are too much for him to handle. The line "hunger hurts but starving works, when it costs too much to love" is not hyperbole or metaphor - literally for ED sufferers, starvation prevents emotion. She is running back to the familiarity and odd comfort of her eating disorder.
There are many different taken meanings to this song. The one I think makes the most sense is because it relates to Fiona Apples traumas in her past.
At first glance, one would probably think it could possibly be a relationship that didn’t go as planned (I thought he was a man, but he was just a little boy). It is about how she, (Fiona Apple) nearly went crazy trying to make things work; and he just didn’t understand. Fiona felt that this person was the only thing that could fill her “void” (Sense of emptiness?). Basically by the end of the song she comes to the realisation she could never have him and that it is better to “Starve” on love then to try it again. Fiona comes to the conclusion that it costs to much to love. (Time, money, health?).
Another deeper meaning is about her past. At the age of twelve, Fiona Apple was raped. Since then she developed an Eating Disorder because she thought if she was emaciated, no man would want her. People with Eating Disorders often develop depression. There are lots of cases were Eating disorder patients describe a “void” or emptiness because they can never fully satisfy their longiness to be what they want to be, (their version of skinny, “Perfection”). I think at the beginning (Looking for a star, to pray on, to wish on), means that she desperately wants help. She wants someone to take away all the pain and sadness she is going through, to fill the void. But she doesn’t know what it is, what she needs. (She thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag)
In the next bit, she nearly goes mad, because she can’t find what she is looking for, (Serenity, peace of mind, health perhaps?). “A fail to kiss is a fail to cope” Might be talking about her inability to cope with the past, to handle healthy relationships with everything. She thinks that she is too much of a mess for anyone to handle, or that anyone would even bother handling. Fiona is basically saying she needs a savour but she can’t find one, and every time she thinks she does, they aren’t what they appear. She could possibly be suffering from loneliness, maybe she was admitted to hospital, and doesn’t have control over anything, she is remembering a past love and realising it won’t be their when she gets out of hospital.
Obviously in the chorus (Hunger hurts, but starving works) is about her eating disorder and how she justifies that it is helping the pain. She realises thin the song that it would cost too much to love. Or to believe in someone that could actually save her.
the second verse I was relating to my eating disorder because when I first heard this song I hadn't eaten much of anything since I got out of the hospital. Literally hunger hurts. And I knew my ex left me because i was such a mess back then. But my perception of reality was a bit off from all the meds and lack of food.
the third verse i related to my situation because i literally felt like I was going crazy again at that point. And I spent most of my days sleeping and I would have dreams of him and sometimes I would forget that everything was gone. And then I would remember all over again.
"Hunger hurts but starvin', it works when it costs
Too much to love" After all that I had decided love isn't in my reach and i got worse into my eating disorder because I didn't have any love at that time not even for myself.
But I don't think this song was meant to be taken so literally. and my interpretation is definitely not what she had in mind when she was writing it.
This song makes me chuckle which is rare! A rarity (spelling?), this song!!
I was staring at the sky, just lookin' for a star to pray on or wish on or something like that
=
I went crazy again today, lookin' for a strand to climb, lookin' for a little hope.
I guess staring at the sky makes you crazy, and Fiona isn't the first one to wish upon a star for a little hope.
I was havin' a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy whose reality, I knew, was a hopeless to be had
=
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine and a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
Fixated on a boy who won't kiss you? Seems he is failing to cope, and this reality is hopeless.
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope, and I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed
=
I said honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified. Come on, put a little love here in my void.
Chances of happiness, of a void-filling love.
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
=
He said it's all in your head and I said so's everything, but he didn't get it
How wearying it is to explain youself to someone who just doesn't get it?
I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag
=
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
Self-explanatory.
Just had to get it out of my system.
In the second verse, it's all coming to a boiling point. The lack is driving her crazy but she is trying to give everything to find any tiny bit to build upon. He is not giving anything though. It is eating at her inside and making her feel unfulfilled and sick. She finally asks him to give her something, anything to make the uneasiness go away but he tells her she's over reacting. She finally snaps back but he doesn't even notice that. It's then that she realizes he isn't the man she hoped he was, he is just a sad little boy.
And in the choruses, it just sums up that she is would do anything to have him. The hunger pains for him are killing her. But she knows he doesn't want to put in the time or energy to help her get herself together. She is folding her hands because they keep shaking but I think the poker term also applies. She's "folding her cards" and giving up on him too. She's hungry for him and his love, but she is starving herself and denying herself both of those things to get over him. It hurts a lot, but she knows that it's better then being in this situation with him.
It's about an eating disorder. Fiona Apple was raped at age 12 and since developed an ED because she thought that if she was emaciated, no man would want her. This is her song about it.
In Sullen Girl, she references a man, taking her "pearl". She felt empty; like there was a void.
This is how ED get started, they make you feel like you have control. She was looking for it in a guy, but he wasn't able to save/rescue her.
"these hands are too shaky to hold"
"hunger hurts, but starving works"
"hunger hurts, but I want him so bad, oh it kills"
"a fail to kiss is a fail to cope" (inability to cope with the past, and looking for it in relationships)
C'mon guys.... If you have ever had an ED you would be able to tell immediately that this's what its about.
"I was staring at the sky, just lookin' for a star
To pray on or wish on or something like that
I was havin' a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality, I knew, was a hopeless to be had"
"But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag"
As mentioned before I think this verse is about expecting something amazing and being disappointed how anti-climatic reality becomes.
Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love
Hunger in this case the hunger for love, "Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills." It hurts because he doesn't want to put the effort into the relationship. She can't carry on in the relationship because she can't cope with the instability. As much as she loves him, being without him hurts her far less.
And I went crazy again today, lookin' for a strand to climb
Lookin' for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on, put a little love here in my void
He said it's all in your head and I said so's everything but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
Going crazy is about her feeling depressed, looking for a little support, she asks him for a bit of affection but he brushes her off. She tells him she doesn't feel like he's being very loving. and he tells her "it's all in her head." I'm assuming everything is their relationship as a whole, and he's a little boy for being as selfish as he is.
Think that covers it?
and she was addicted to coke so we stopped dating
then she went to rehab. she got out 2 months ago and i've been talking to her as a friend.
but she's too messed up for me to ever talk to again
she relapsed
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