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Six am day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
They call her name at seven thirty
I pace around the parking lot
Then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
'Cause I was tired of lying
Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
They call her name at seven thirty
I pace around the parking lot
Then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
'Cause I was tired of lying
Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
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But I think this is inaccurate. Sure... an abortion is one thing it could mean... but to me it resonates with having a loved one with a terminal illness...
Put that in between the lines, and chew on it...
*The main thing that makes me think it's talking about an abortion is that the father doesn't go in with her-he waits in the parking lot and gets her flowers. It seems that if they were going for an ultrasound or dilation and curettage that he would have been able to/chosen to go with her.
*Another clue is that from the first verse, they are trying to hide it from the parents and they are feeling alone and guilty about what happened. Of course, someone can be ashamed of their choice to have sex and still choose to go on with the pregnancy, but it seems to me that if they never wanted to get pregnant, they would be more prone to hide it and less devastated about losing it. Of course, in high school some close friends of mine dealt with an unplanned pregnancy that miscarried early on, and even though they had been horrified about all of the potential consequences of unintentional parenthood, the mother still experienced severe guilt and anxiety about losing the baby, so I am not saying that someone who loses a child they didn't "ask for" cannot be sad about it. I know most mothers are probably devastated by miscarriage, no matter what their circumstances are.
*Then when it says, "It's not me you're dying for" this, again, implies that the "death" (whether you believe abortion is killing the baby or not, the word used in the lyric is "dying" so that's why I say that) is planned, or anticipated. I think this is from the parents (or possibly just the father) to the unborn child, sympathizing that they didn't want to abort, but they felt it was the best choice. Now the mother feels more alone because she has just lost a part of her, like women often feel after miscarriage, or even after abortion or healthy childbirth. At the end of the first verse, the father felt more alone than ever, and I think this is because he didn't want to go through with the operation. But now she's feeling more alone, and this continues and she realizes what she's done. Hence, at the end they finally come clean about everything that happened.
***I definitely understand the argument that it's talking about a miscarriage, and it could be applied to those situations too, I'm sure. These are just the reasons I lean towards the belief that it's talking about abortion. Of course, no one actually knows except for Ben Folds Five and whoever else they've personally talked to about it (and, if this is a real story, then the mother of the child and others involved), but it is fun to analyze the lyrics like this I guess. :)
I think the chorus is from what he sees as the fetus' point of view. Or maybe his girlfriend's point of view, but it makes more sense as him wondering what will happen to their unborn child: "I'm drowning slowly off the coast and I'm headed nowhere..."
I believe abortion is a right, and women should have the right to their own bodies, but miscarriage is different; it frequently has very rough effects on women.
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before..."
I can certainly relate to these lines and interpret it as a paradigm shift. It is sung from the perspective of the female who is carrying the child. She does not want the abortion; realistically, the baby is being aborted ("dying for") primarily because the father does not want it. Because of this, she is in complete isolation ("...Now she's feeling more alone...") both mentally, emotionally and physically (the life they created will no longer live within her). Very sad and powerful.
Fast forward ten years and my girlfriend is now my wife. We have a young child whom we love dearly. We want more children and she gets pregnant. She waits until 10 weeks have passed and makes the announcement. We go for an ultrasound. I am with her and I can clearly see that there is now nothing discernable in the womb. The ultrasound technician knows this as well but isn't allowed to comment. That's the doctor's job. It doesn't matter because we both know that something has gone wrong. Our baby has left this world. My wife suffers a miscarriage.
To this day, I wonder who this child may have been. As I type, I am crying. Seeing the ultrasound for my first child and then seeing the ultrasound of my second child changes my entire outlook on abortion. Does life begin at conception? Maybe. But it is a fact that when there is a fetus with hands, feets, toes, etc. you are looking at life. When I hear "Brick" I cry.
I will not judge others in their decision on this topic. But do not take it lightly. Explore all of your options before making the decision to terminate a pregnancy. Don't be bullied by people at abortion clinics.
Many people I love have gone through the same thing and it was so much harder than people expect. I love you and your wife for going on through a trial like that, instead of becoming angry and bitter. Call me crazy I know your child's spirit lives on and you will get to be with him or her again. I could feel that as I read your comment. Thank you again for sharing your story.
Anyone else who has ever or will ever lost a child in the womb, infancy, or later in life, I know you can find the strength to get through it just like this great man and his wife did. And I believe you can be with your family again. "Everything always works out in the end. If it's not working out, it's not the end."
I found the peace to endure the death of loved ones through my Savior, Jesus Christ. Follow these links to learn more about being with your family after death and finding peace to endure trials in this life.
lds.org/topics/…
mormon.org/…
I think its clear that this song is about abortion. Most people have been mislead about the subject. Abortion was legal in the United States prior to the Roe v Wade decision. Up until that point in time, the individual states had the right to legislate on abortion. If the people in the state through their elected representatives didn't want to legalize abortion, they outlawed it. Other states did legalize abortion. That's how the Constitution intended it to be. The federal government has no business in this matter. It is a state's rights issue. The Supreme Court got it wrong on this issues (as well as many other issues during the "Warren" court). I have a great deal of personal opinion on the matter but I'll save it for a different forum. The lawyer in me had to comment on the topic from a legal viewpoint.
Now to the song...This is a beautiful song which I really enjoy listening to but at the same time, it always saddens me. I can't help but think that Folds regrets the matter as well. Why else write about it? It's ironic that this song would prove to be his (or the band's) most popular work.
When I was in high school, my girlfriend and I thought that she was pregnant. I was only 17 years old and I made up my mind that she would have an abortion. I was planning on going to law school which would cost me $100,000. How could I provide for a child? As fate would have, she was wasn't pregnant. We never had to go through with it...
That said - I think having gone through what you did with your wife, that you'd understand that no pregnant woman/couple ever takes the decision of abortion lightly: contrary to what a lot of pro-life (usually men) people perpetuate.
Also I think the song does a great job of humanizing and personalizing a couple's decision to choose. I don't think it ever makes claims on what the "right" decision would be.
I pace around the parking lot
Then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
It's difficult to say what really happened after hearing this line. Either on Boxing Day, the couple got an official pregnancy test done at the doctor's office (obviously it was positive) after being certain "enough" that she was pregnant via home test - or they already knew she was pregnant and were waiting for her parents to go out of town to have an abortion. I used to think it was the latter, but after reading those last two lines, I think they're at the Doc's for a pregnancy test: being a good BF, he's prepared for either of her reactions to the (probable) positive prenancy: flowers for "yay! we're having a baby!" AND selling his Xmas gifts to raise cash in the case that he needs to help her pay for an abortion if that's what she wants.
So overall, I think this song is really about the experience that a loving boyfriend/husband went/might go through when faced with unintentionally getting his GF/wife pregnant; emphasizing that the choice is not a solitary one.