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Dear darling,
Your mom, my friend
Left a message on my machine
She was frantic
Saying you were talking crazy.
That you wanted to do away with yourself.
Guess she thought I would be the perfect resort
Because we've had this inexplicable connection since our youth
And yes, they're in shock
They are panicked
You and your chronic
Them and their drama
You this embarrassment
Us in the middle of this delusion.
If we were our bodies,
If we were our futures,
If we were our defenses,
Id be joining you.
If we were our culture,
If we were our leaders,
If we were our denials,
Id be joining you.
I remember vividly a day years ago,
We were camping.
You knew more than you thought you should know.
You said I don't want ever to be brainwashed
And you were mind boggling, you were intense.
You were uncomfortable in your own skin.
You were thirsty,
But mostly you were beautiful.
If we were our name tags,
If we were our rejections,
If we were our outcomes,
Id be joining you.
If we were our indignities,
If we were our successes,
If we were our emotions,
Id be joining you.
You and I, were like four year olds.
We want to know why, and how come about everything.
We want to reveal ourselves at will, and speak our minds.
And never talk small talk and be intuitive,
And question mightily, and find God my tortured beacon.
We need to find like-minded companions.
If we were their condemnations,
If we were their projections,
If we were our paranoia's, Id be joining you.
If we were our incomes,
If we were our obsessions,
If we were our afflictions, Id be joining you.
We need a reflection,
We need a really good memory.
Feel free to call me a little more often.
Your mom, my friend
Left a message on my machine
She was frantic
Saying you were talking crazy.
That you wanted to do away with yourself.
Guess she thought I would be the perfect resort
Because we've had this inexplicable connection since our youth
And yes, they're in shock
They are panicked
You and your chronic
Them and their drama
You this embarrassment
Us in the middle of this delusion.
If we were our bodies,
If we were our futures,
If we were our defenses,
Id be joining you.
If we were our culture,
If we were our leaders,
If we were our denials,
Id be joining you.
I remember vividly a day years ago,
We were camping.
You knew more than you thought you should know.
You said I don't want ever to be brainwashed
And you were mind boggling, you were intense.
You were uncomfortable in your own skin.
You were thirsty,
But mostly you were beautiful.
If we were our name tags,
If we were our rejections,
If we were our outcomes,
Id be joining you.
If we were our indignities,
If we were our successes,
If we were our emotions,
Id be joining you.
You and I, were like four year olds.
We want to know why, and how come about everything.
We want to reveal ourselves at will, and speak our minds.
And never talk small talk and be intuitive,
And question mightily, and find God my tortured beacon.
We need to find like-minded companions.
If we were their condemnations,
If we were their projections,
If we were our paranoia's, Id be joining you.
If we were our incomes,
If we were our obsessions,
If we were our afflictions, Id be joining you.
We need a reflection,
We need a really good memory.
Feel free to call me a little more often.
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Bless you for remembering Alanis
I work in psych and sometimes I've seen counselors subtly devalue a depressed person with their projections, (a defense) or simply stand back and observe them from a safe distance, applying a label (or nametag) in a staff meeting, or they emphasize outcomes or successes that can be measured (sure signs the person is getting better) because that helps them (the counselor) feel more in control. And a lack of empathy is probably what got that depressed and hopeless person into that state of mind to begin with. The depressed person needs someone authentically present with them. Alannis gets that and she gives him what he needs without reacting from a place of fear (as the mother did).
She tells him authentically about her first impressions of him, that she saw his insecurities and his hunger (or thirst) for empathy from others, and it didn't drive her away. In fact, she found him fascinating because of this, but even beyond that, she saw who he was, and she loved who he was (he was beautiful).
Then she tells him the ways in which they're alike "we're like 4-year-olds" because he needs to know he's not truly alone and incapable of being understood, like he probably thinks. The ways in which they're alike though are different from mainstream America, which has a very narcissistic culture rather than a culture rooted in authentic experience. She still identifies with him, even in his present state of mind. She tells him why she thinks he arrived at the conclusion he came to - he's reduced life to all the things that wind up disappointing us or making us feel misunderstood and alone - our leaders, our culture, the fact that people apply nametags to us, etc. He needs to go back to living in the moment - they need a "really good memory." She tells him she's there for him whenever he needs her to be. If Alannis hadn't been a professional singer/songwriter, I think she would have been a really good psychotherapist.
'I remember vividly a day years ago, we were camping
you knew more that you thought you should know
you said "I don't want ever to be brainwashed"
and you were minboggling, you were intense,
you were unconfortable in your own skin, you were thirsty
but most you were beatiful'
"This song is about people who don't think the way most people do. If you listen to Alannis at all, you notice that her songs are completely nonconformist, this song being one of the prime examples.
I think this song is about a friend of hers, who is obviously one of these people that think differently. Because thinking outside of mainstream "groupthink" tends to make you the subject of ridicule, rejection and accusations of insanity, he is obviously experiencing difficulties relating to others (specifically his mother, who has left this panicked message on Alannis' machine). Often the only response left to these different thinkers is (at least the threat of) suicide to fend off these attacks, especially when dealing with people who are "close" to them, but clearly can't relate to them.
The message causes Alannis to reflect on how unique he has always been, and how he has been an inspiration to her to think outside the mainstream thought patterns. She obviously remembers specific instances where his different mindset made a difference to her, and how this truly endeared him to her.
In the chorus(es) she takes some examples of the facts or portions of peoples lives the mainstream holds most important (i.e. projections, bodies, successes, incomes, obsessions), and turns them around for him. She is reminding him that he doesn't need to equate his personal worth to these hollow values. In fact, she states that if people (in particular "we" = she and her friend) were actually the sum total of these values, she would probably join him/her in committing suicide. It is affirmation that because he doesn't think this way, that these values are truly not what makes you a worthwhile human being, he is okay, he's not the one who's crazy.
Finally, she is telling her friend that they are not alone. Telling him that they need better memories, etc, is telling him to go back in his mind to the things she is recalling, so that he can hold on to those times when the two of them connected on that deeper level. At the end, she is telling him that she'd like to get back to that kind of relationship. She probably has the same frustrations as him.
I use "him" arbitrarily, although in my mind (warped as it may be) I see the friend as a guy. It could very well be a girl as well. But you get the point."
Alanis is highly intelligent and she clearly has a gift to be able to articulate her brilliance into words in songs. This is my favorite part of the song as I can so relate to what she is saying here:
"You and I we're like 4 year olds
we want to know why and how come about everything
we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak our minds
and never talk small and be intuictive
and question mightily and find God my tortured beacon
we need to find like-minded companions"
This is one of her best songs in my opinion.
I put it on my blog at <sighkoblahgrr.blogspot.com/2009/07/…>. Lordy. What an experience.
"Feel free to call a little more often." Indeed. (Will someone =puh-leeze= give this woman an honorary Psy.D. before I have to set myself on fire in front of some dean's office?)
This song is so relevant today, considering what has happended to our country in the last 18 months. This recession (swiftly degenerating into a depression, God help us), has laid a lot of people low, including myself. I was laid off from my job a year ago, and all the education and middle class striving on my part didn't help me. Isn't it ironic (excuse the joke) that this song is one that buoys me up in this very difficult time. It reminds me that I am more than a displaced worker, more than my lost job, more than the amount on my unemployment check. Thank you, Alanis, for this song, because I think you may have saved MY life with it.