So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't wanna move a thing
It might change my memory
Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go, I won't sleep
I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here with me
I don't wanna call my friends
For they might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been
Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go, I won't sleep
And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here
And I won't go, and I won't sleep
And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here with me
Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go, I won't sleep
And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here
And I won't go, and I won't sleep
And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here with me
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't wanna move a thing
It might change my memory
Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go, I won't sleep
I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here with me
I don't wanna call my friends
For they might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been
Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go, I won't sleep
And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here
And I won't go, and I won't sleep
And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here with me
Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go, I won't sleep
And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here
And I won't go, and I won't sleep
And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave, and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here with me
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Like a lot of the other comments are saying, I think this mainly about voyeurism. If the song was about his girlfriend, then why would he use the word spy. If you are a spy it means you shouldn't be caught, that is kind of the whole point, and if you are a voyeur, the whole point of the pleasure you get from it, is the fact that the other people don't know you are watching them. See a bit of a connection there?
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The way this song speaks to me🥺🥺when I sing it I feel like I relate
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This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
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@[Diderik:33655] "Your a holiday!" Was a popular term used in the 50s/60s to compliment someone on their all around. For example, not only are they beautiful, but they are fun and kind too ... just an all around "holiday".
I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
She is addressing the person she loves I didn’t hear you leave I wonder how I am still here ( something is left unfinished whatever that maybe) otherwise people leave. The whole song is clear They cannot be together . They both have to leave . And she wants him to leave first. Something like not leaving someone behind Like they both have to leave and she wants to make sure he’s gone because they cannot be together. Resting here with me could which I think it is in this song is death. Death not in literal sense but end of their time there. Rest of the lyrics are just indications of how deep her connection to him is.
Oh she sings so well and I seem to connect with so many of her first few songs that came out . Her first few songs that came out are like a story each connecting one with the other . Soulful voice goes straight to the heart.