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You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance
You're uncontrollable
And we are unlovable
And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again
Why can't you just love her?
Why be such a monster?
You burn me from a distance
Your brain needs some assistance
But I'll still take all the blame
Cause you and me are both one and the same
And its driving me mad
And its driving me mad
I'll take back all the things that I said
I didn't realize I was talking to the living dead
And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again
You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance
You're uncontrollable
And we are unlovable
And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again
Why can't you just love her?
Why be such a monster?
You burn me from a distance
Your brain needs some assistance
But I'll still take all the blame
Cause you and me are both one and the same
And its driving me mad
And its driving me mad
I'll take back all the things that I said
I didn't realize I was talking to the living dead
And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again
You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance
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I'll explain.
"You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance"
Sexual addiction purveys a sense of worthlessness to the individual via the addict inside. The degraded sense of worth projected onto others as result of lust that is the foundation of sexual addiction is reflected through an empathic response onto the addict themselves. When a person is in the depths of addiction, they will do anything to escape their feelings of meaninglessness. Ironically, this usually drives them further into addiction and continues those feelings in a vicious downward spiral.
When one begins to become separated from these addictive tendencies however, the separation of the addict and who they really are becomes more apparent. This is the point being made here. The person is able to stand back and behold the addict within themselves. They begin to recognize the aspects that they thought were inherently them while they where in the depths of addiction.
"You're uncontrollable"
Sexual addiction is something that causes a powerfully horrible out of control feeling. At times, an addict may feel that they are having an out of body experience, witnessing themselves acting out while truly desiring not to. More often than not, this desire alone is not enough to overcome the desire to act out. Thus control is lost, bringing a sense that the addiction is uncontrollable.
"And we are unlovable"
Interesting word choice here. The dual personality associated with sexual addiction makes for very complex results when one acts out. Much like when Dr. Jeckyll has to take responsibility for the actions of Mr. Hyde, a sexual addict has to take responsibility for how acting out impacts not only themselves, but also those around them. Inherent feelings of shame and worthlessness (as noted above) feed on the lack of control and make the person feel that other people would be incapable of loving them if they knew about the addiction. This contributes to an isolationism that breeds loneliness and creates another emotional pain that the addict then feels a need to medicate by acting out.
"And I don't want you to think that I care"
When fighting addiction, the person tries to avoid the gropings of the addict inside by not directing attention toward the addiction. This is done because when attention to the addiction is given, a desire to act out is triggered making it harder to resist. The dual personality conflict becomes stronger and stronger as the person shows the addict inside that they care at all about the addiction. When this happens the possibility of acting out increases. When this occurs, the addict within the person exploits that opportunity to drive the desire to act out all the more. And the destructive downward spiral continues.
"I never would, I never could again"
This is very characteristic of the feelings the person has when they have just finished acting out (having satiated the addict inside) and no longer have the desire to. This is the time when the desire to fight against the addiction is clear and focused. Because of the lack of desire to act out in that moment, it seems like the person could maintain sobriety forever. This is an honest feeling but it is often so challenging to maintain, especially when the desire to act out is triggered again at a later time.
"Why can't you just love her?"
This is especially poignant in the world of sexual addiction. I would change the "her" to "him" or whatever would be appropriate for the person/people the sexual addict is close to in their lives (though it is especially applicable when the him/her is someone with whom the addict is in a romantic love relationship). More often than not, those in a love relationship with a sexual addict feel a sense of betrayal as a result of the addict’s actions. They feel hurt and withdrawn because there is a perception that the affection, which should be directed toward them, is being directed toward someone or something else, even though the addict claims to love them. This is often true whether the addict is acting out with other people physically or by engaging in pornography.
Interestingly, the addict often has a separation of affection between the addiction and their love partner. However they too feel a sense of betrayal when they act out. This is why the person is prone to say to the addict within themselves "why can't you just love him/her?" They feel that they should love their partner and that truly loving them would mean stopping the addictive behavior that is causing them pain. But they can't control it on their own. All they can do sometimes is ask why.
"Why be such a monster?"
I think it's interesting that this why question follows the previous one. When an addict asks themselves why they can't love another enough to overcome the addiction, they often then perceive themselves as a monster because of the pain they are causing their love partner and others in their life. This includes themselves. The feelings of monstrosity can also grow from being honest with themselves about the reality of their addictive actions. Sexual addiction does not lend itself to the tender, natural and wholesome but rather to the depraved, abusive and exploitative. The monstrous.
"You burn me (bully) from a distance"
I have seen a couple versions of this line. I like both but I feel that "bully" instead of "burn me" is not only what is said, but also fits more in line with the theme. Both work however. Basically, the addict inside the person takes no responsibility for any action. The person is required to take responsibility for what happens when they act out even though they are not acting with a clear mind. The negative consequences that occur as result of sexual addiction such as loneliness, depression, isolation, self degradation and abuse, the pain of hurting others, dealing with the backlash of others reactions, etc. are borne solely by the person rather than the by addict inside. In this way, the addict is bullying the person from a distance because they are always there to cause the problem but never around to take the consequences.
"Your brain needs some assistance"
For this one, I could go into all the psychological ramifications associated with sexual addiction but I've already touched on several. Suffice it to say that there is an incredible amount of hatred that a person dealing with sexual addiction has toward the addiction and the addict inside. Insults like this one would be common because there is so much that sexual addiction drives a person to do that doesn't make any rational sense.
From an outside perspective, this is what many sexual addicts fear others will think of them if they discovered they have this addiction.
Also, sexual addiction changes brain chemistry so a sexual addict literally does need some assistance in this sense. This is not meant as an insult here but rather as a kindly stated suggestion. In order to overcome sexual addiction, a person needs to literally reprogram the way the addiction has wired their brain.
"But I'll still take all the blame"
I think I have touched on this several times but the addict within the person is never there to take the blame for acting out in the addiction. The addict acts out and the person then has to deal with whatever negative repercussions occur.
"Cause you and me are both one and the same
And it’s driving me mad
And it’s driving me mad"
This is the hardest part of sexual addiction. When the person makes choices based on the desires of the addict, they are, in actually, making choices themselves. The addict inside does not make the choices for them, they have to take the initiative to act on what the addict inside suggests to them. This is one of the hardest things to deal with because it requires an acknowledgement that the person and the addict inside are embodied in the same entity. And when someone is making destructive choices that they don't want to make because something within themselves drives them to make those choices, it can be truly a force for insanity. It can drive people to abuse themselves and others and even push them to the point of taking their own lives. Sexual addiction is not a healthy thing and can change a person's mind into such an unhealthy state that they develop truly psychotic tendencies.
"I'll take back all the things that I said
I didn't realize I was talking to the living dead"
Often, a person will try to reason with the addict inside. They will try to persuade them as to why the sexual addiction should be averted. They can list reason after reason why they shouldn't act out. They can come up with every possible rational aspect as to why the addict should stop driving at the addiction, only to find that the addict doesn't even have the capacity to react to reason. Like a zombie, the addict inside may acknowledge the fact that there is communication occurring from the person but at the next opportunity, it will seek sexual gratification with flagrant disregard for all the reasoning in the world. This causes a sense of extreme frustration in the person because they realize that they can't reason with the addict inside. This causes anger, fear and hostility towards one's self in a realization that the addict is a part of the person sexual addiction has driven them to become.
"And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again
You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance"
I could repeat myself here from earlier but that would be a little redundant. I do think that Bellamy hits the nail on the head here with the repetition of these lines. Sexual addiction is cyclical in nature. Notice that the repeated "And I don't want you to think that I care, I never would, I never could again" is followed by a powerful, exciting, dissident and angry sounding instrumental section followed by a morose ending. Much like the addict who doesn't want to act out but then does, only to be slumped into a plunging sense of meaninglessness and insignificance.
So to make a long story short, I think that this song hits the major aspects of sexual addiction right on the head. And despite the power of addiction, it is possible to overcome, but (as outlined by the song) it can't be done alone. There is help out there. If you need it, please give a gift to yourself and reach out for that help.
YOU DESERVE IT. And YOU CAN DO IT.
"Why can't you just love her? Why be such a Monster?
It's the thoughs of a child seen his parents fight and hating each other.
"But I'll still take all the blame
Cause you and me are both one and the same
And its driving me mad"
It's how a child reflects their parents caos and personality
I didn't realize I was talking to the living dead ( i'm sure that this line referes to matthew's family experience with paranormality, they used to have a ouija board)
"You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance" ( He is saying that, his father could make a diference if he could talk more and make things better ...but he don't, his father just left their home when matthew was very young )
Sorry for any grammatical error, i'm still studying english ^^"
I feel like the "speaking to the dead father" interpretation stands fairly well, especially if you're into accepting the author's intent. (Lead singer apparently confirmed it to be about his parents).
But I'm also a big fan of the notion that any well-reasoned interpretation can have a level of validity, independent of the author's intent. This song really hit home with me recently, due to a situation I've found myself in. I'll offer you my interpretation, interspersed with the lyrics and anecdotes from my own life when I feel they'll back up or solidify my interpretation. I understand that a lot of what I'm saying below doesn't really have a lot to back it up in the song... I'm basically applying events in my life to the song and the song to events my life because, as I said, it really hit home. I'm not trying to sway anyone, or say that this is the only way to think of the song or any nonsense like that, I just wanted to write this out. Enjoy.
Wall of text inc...:
My interpretation of the song is along the lines of what Green Dave posted back in 2002. "Maybe someone close, like a brother or something." I'm going with the "or something."
Imagine two close friends who grew up together and are essentially family. Their lives are basically intertwined. They live near or with each other, see each other constantly, and are basically the best friends/family that either of them have. Say one of them has begun a sort of relationship with a girl. The song, in my mind and interpretation, is told from the perspective of the other friend (The friend singing the song shall hereafter be referred to as "Voice"). Voice is witnessing the entirety of his friend's dealings with the girl, and is trying to come to grips with the actions of his friend.
"You would say anything
And you would try anything
to escape your meaningless
and your insignificance."
Voice sees his friend's relationship with the girl as a way to try and use her to feel something. Voice's friend "would say anything and try anything" to make himself mean something to someone. He's using the girl emotionally for her feelings and devotion.
"You're uncontrollable
And we are unlovable
And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again"
The first part here is fairly self-explanatory. Voice considers his friend beyond fixing. He thinks he's out of control and doesn't care who he hurts. The "And we are unlovable" marks the beginning of Voice's acknowledgment of how fully intertwined he and his friend's lives and personalities have become. They are both incapable of being loved in any healthy way.
The "And I don't want you to think that I care..." line that follows gets its first incarnation here. At this point, "And I don't want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again" is Voice speaking directly to his friend. If this is a conversation, here's where Voice tells his friend not to confuse his words or mix up his meanings. Voice is permanently disgusted in his lifelong friend. He doesn't care that his friend is unlovable. He doesn't care what happens to his friend and he never will again. That part of him is broken.
"Why can't you just love her?
Why be such a monster?
You burn me from a distance
Your brain needs some assistance
But I'll still take all the blame
'Cause you and me are both one and the same
And its driving me mad
And its driving me mad"
Here we come to the crux of Voice's message to his friend. "Why can't you just love her? Why be such a monster?" The friend's treatment of the girl is unconscionable, monstrous. Voice wishes that his friend could simply love her, as Voice believes she deserves, without all the terrible things he does and says to her.
"You burn me from a distance"
"You bully from a distance"
I include this line by itself because there seems to be some dispute as to the lyrics. According to a couple of posts on this site, and to the lyrics on the site as well, the lyric is "You burn me from a distance" or "You're burning from a distance," but it's also all over the internet as "you bully from a distance."
I feel like all of them work no matter which interpretation you're accepting. I'm going to give my interpretation for both possibilities,
"You bully from a distance"
In this interpretation Voice is calling his friend out further for how he treats the girl. "...From a distance" doesn't imply that Voice's friend is only cruel from far away, rather it notes that he bully's the girl no matter where they are. Whether they're together or apart, Voice's friend treats the girl with incredible cruelty.
"You burn me from a distance"
This version of the lyrics (which according to Kato130 in 2005 is the one in the pamphlet that came with the CD) is quite different. Here we have Voice claiming that his friend's actions are actually, if only metaphorically, harming Voice.
Voice's friend's mistreatment of the girl is so terrible that Voice finds himself "burned" from a distance. He's experiencing the pain second hand and he finds the damage to be deeply disturbing.
"Your brain needs some assistance"
applies essentially the same no matter which way the lyric directly above is presented (as does the rest of the song, for the sake of this interpretation)
Voice feels there's something very wrong with his friend. His friend either needs help to mend, or needs to be locked away somewhere he can't hurt anyone else.
"But I'll still take all the blame
'Cause you and me are both one and the same
And it's driving me mad
And it's driving me mad"
As mentioned above, Voice recognizes how intertwined and similar he and his friend have become over the years. These lines are of vital importance to this interpretation. Voice is placing the blame for the mistreatment of the girl (and in my life, for something terrible that happened to her because of "his" (my) friend) firmly upon his own shoulders. He's taking all the blame because he and his friend are so close that their actions and transgressions have essentially become mutually inclusive and nearly indistinguishable in Voice's mind. They're the same, practically one, both completely to blame, and it's driving Voice mad. It's driving me mad.
That momentary plunge into madness has led Voice down the rabbit hole of introspection. At the end of the second "And it's driving me mad" his focus turns away from his friend and onto the girl. Prior to addressing the maddening notion that Voice and his friend were both to blame for his friend's mistreatment and neglect of the girl, Voice had been focused on making his friend change the way he treated the girl. (Straying into my own life for a moment) This stemmed from two points. The first was Voice's utter disgust, on an ideological level, with the way that his friend was treating the girl.
The second was Voice's growing concern for the girl's well-being. He cares about her. He feels awful guilt for how she's being treated. He sees someone who's basically family dehumanizing and debasing girl, toying with her emotions, crushing her self-reliance and independence. So this conversation (the lines of the song) are meant to be heard by her. Imagine that while Voice has been trying to find a way to convince his friend to stop treating the girl the way he does, he's also been telling the girl how much better she deserves to be treated. Telling her that she shouldn't put up with all the terrible things that Voice's friend does and says to her. He's not suggesting that he could do any better because, in his mind, Voice is the same as his friend. He just wants her to get away and perhaps eventually find someone who won't be so utterly cruel.
But as Voice stared into the abyss it stared into him and he came to a vital realization. Listen to the desperation of the second "And it's driving me mad."
The first time it's sung, it's musical. It comes out like a line in a song. But the second time "Mad" takes on the tone of something more akin to a scream. I read this as him cracking, coming to a major epiphany.
"I'll take back all the things that I said
I didn't realize I was talking to the living dead
But I don't want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again"
Voice is speaking directly to the girl now. Voice has returned from the abyss realizing that if, after everything he tried to tell her, after all the terrible things that his friend has done to her, the girl is still sticking around she must not really want anything better. This is the source of the more visceral scream in the second "...mad," and the reason he immediately states "I'll take back all the things that I said..." Voice finds his epiphany painful to think about. The girl is so blinded by her feelings for Voice's friend that she'll stay around no matter what indignities she suffers at his hands.
Thus, "I'll take back all the things that I said, I didn't realize I was talking to the living dead" is Voice's indictment of the girl. She's no unwitting victim in this matter. The terrible things that happened to her weren't her fault, but remaining under Voice's friend's control basically is. This, to Voice, makes the girl "the living dead."
"And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again"
Voice continues to speak to the girl. He's resentful and hurt by what he sees as her betrayal of his feelings and concern. He’s also furious at himself for blindly believing that she’s entirely the victim. She is, after all, still sticking around. He wants there to be no mistake. He doesn't care about her anymore. He'll never allow himself to care about her again, and he's sure he'll never even be capable of caring for her.
"You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance”
Here Voice further indicts the girl for what he believes to be her failings and misdeeds in this event. She's staying with Voice's friend in an attempt to fill whatever void in her life has left her feeling meaningless and insignificant. The final utterance of these lines is punctuated with resignation. Voice levels on the girl the same accusation he'd used on his friend, then gives up on both of them.
I'm a fool for this but I still can't possibly fathom how she is to blame.
It works in my interpretation, and I can totally see how leaving them to their own devices makes sense, and how that realization should stop the feelings... But it didn't. It hasn't. I'm afraid it won't.
"I'll take back all the things that I said/I didn't realize I was talking to the living dead."
That's pretty simple, just means that he feels like his dad wasn't listening to a thing he was saying and didn't give a damn.
I never would, I never could again" He means to say that he's not trying to get rid of her new partner or try to get back with her, he just feels bad that he treated her wrongly and that even after breaking up she continues to be treated wrongly.
Great song, great band. :)
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance
I think Matt sings about that 'he' is actually in love with someone, but doesn't dare to tell her or even admitt it to himself. That's why he never takes a step what could bring them togheter. Meanwhile the girl desparetly does try to get them togheter.
The chorus is about that deep in his heart he does know he loves her, but continues to reject the girl, what makes him even more angry at himself.
I'll take back all the things that I said
I didn't realize I was talking to the living dead
And I dont want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again
I think that this part is about that the girl is self-destructive or something, perhaps very depressed. Matt is shocked that she turns out like this, and tries to tell himself that he is better off without her, but in his heart he knows that all that was his fault and he's suffering even more than the girl
so sorry Matt's dad was such a jerk. :(
if you listen close enough you could flat out tell it's about his father or anyone for that matter who he really doesn't have that much of a love for anymore -- "'Cause you and me are both one of the same" should really ring a bell. usually in cases where children don't like (i refuse to use "hate" since it's such a strong word), they sometimes are just like the one they don't get along with and it kills the child inside because it's not who they want to be as they grow up.
i've read that the majority of songs from Showbiz are old, and i can see how. Matt could've written this when he was about 16 or 17, right around or after the time his parents divorced. for all we know, it could even be about his mother and not the father -- just because his father moved out doesn't mean there isn't a slight dislike towards the father.