So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
You told me that you want to die
I said I've been there myself more than a few times
And I go back every once in a while
You called me lucky, you.. you called me lucky
You said tonight is a wonderful night to die
I asked you how you could tell
You told me to look at the sky
Look at all those stars
Look at how goddamn ugly the stars are
It's one or another
Between a rope and a bottle
I can tell you're having trouble breathing
'Cause you'll never be okay
You'll never be okay
(You'll always be in pain)
You'll always feel this way
'Cause things they never work out right
(the wrong way the lonely way)
You'll always be in pain
You told me that the daylight burned you
And that the sunrise was enough to kill you
I said maybe you're a vampire
You said it's quite possible I feel truly dead inside
'Cause you'll never be okay
You'll never be okay
(You'll always be in pain)
You'll always feel this way
'Cause things they never work out right
(the wrong way the lonely way)
You'll always be in pain
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out
I said I've been there myself more than a few times
And I go back every once in a while
You called me lucky, you.. you called me lucky
You said tonight is a wonderful night to die
I asked you how you could tell
You told me to look at the sky
Look at all those stars
Look at how goddamn ugly the stars are
It's one or another
Between a rope and a bottle
I can tell you're having trouble breathing
'Cause you'll never be okay
You'll never be okay
(You'll always be in pain)
You'll always feel this way
'Cause things they never work out right
(the wrong way the lonely way)
You'll always be in pain
You told me that the daylight burned you
And that the sunrise was enough to kill you
I said maybe you're a vampire
You said it's quite possible I feel truly dead inside
'Cause you'll never be okay
You'll never be okay
(You'll always be in pain)
You'll always feel this way
'Cause things they never work out right
(the wrong way the lonely way)
You'll always be in pain
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out
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I keep coming back to this song throughout the years. The one verse that always get's me is
'You said tonight is a wonderful night to die I asked you how you could tell You told me to look at the sky Look at all those stars Look at how goddamn ugly the stars are'
I have had moments where I have complemented suicide many times in my life, but as of recently I have found myself appreciating the little things. The stars, the trees, the ocean, etc. I always have appreciated these things, but I would find myself thinking things like 'it's a wonderful night to die'. Now I really how ridiculous that is! Once you're dead, everything that you found beautiful is gone. So now when I'm feeling depressed and have these thoughts my mind sarcastically repeats 'Look at how god damn ugly the stars are'. You may be so depressed that suicide seems like its the way out. It is not! Just like the sentiment of the song 'things will never be ok' and 'things will never work out right' you feel like this will always be the case, and from experience: a lot of the time it will be if you struggle with depression/anxiety/ptsd and so on. But life is a beautiful thing, find the simple things to make you happy, look at the beauty of the stars, the forest, the ocean etc, and realize that you want to stick around to experience all the little things that make life worth living. Our peers have a tendency to tear us down, hell for me even my parents did. Do yourself a favor and put all that shit on mute. You do you, we have one life to live, don't let anyone else ruin it for you. So go to school, go to work take a couple punches to the head, come home and look at those beautiful stars. I hope that someone someday will read this and think twice before ending their life.