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Excuse me, but can I be you for a while?
My dog won't bite if you sit real still
I got the anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again
Yeah, I can hear that
Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know but nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me you never shut up
Yeah I can hear that
But what if I'm a mermaid?
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent all these years
So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?
Boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon
How's that thought for you?
My scream got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven where
Some screams have gone?
I got 25 bucks and a cracker
Do you think it's enough to get us there?
'Cause what if I'm a mermaid?
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent all these...
Years go by
Will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand?
Years go by
If I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my head
Years go by
Will I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left?
One more casualty
You know we're too easy, easy, easy
Well, I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now
But baby don't look up
The sky is falling
Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
And it's your turn now to stand where I stand
Everybody lookin' at you
Here, take hold of my hand
Yeah, I can hear them
But what if I'm a mermaid?
In these jeans of yours with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
I hear my voice
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent all these years
I've been here
Silent all these years
Silent all these
Silent all these years...
My dog won't bite if you sit real still
I got the anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again
Yeah, I can hear that
Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know but nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me you never shut up
Yeah I can hear that
But what if I'm a mermaid?
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent all these years
So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?
Boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon
How's that thought for you?
My scream got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven where
Some screams have gone?
I got 25 bucks and a cracker
Do you think it's enough to get us there?
'Cause what if I'm a mermaid?
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent all these...
Years go by
Will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand?
Years go by
If I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my head
Years go by
Will I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left?
One more casualty
You know we're too easy, easy, easy
Well, I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now
But baby don't look up
The sky is falling
Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
And it's your turn now to stand where I stand
Everybody lookin' at you
Here, take hold of my hand
Yeah, I can hear them
But what if I'm a mermaid?
In these jeans of yours with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
I hear my voice
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent all these years
I've been here
Silent all these years
Silent all these
Silent all these years...
Lyrics submitted by Novartza
Track duration: 04:11
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when she was really young.
While I do I think the song describes the story of a specific character (not necessarily Tori herself) living through a pregnancy scare, I think the overall themes -- trying to find your independence while navigating a culture of oppressive relationships -- are deeper than that. The line about being "saved again by the garbage truck" makes me think that she took a home pregnancy test and needed to destroy the evidence, and "boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon" pretty much speaks for itself. She worries about being disowned by her family, wondering if she can survive on "twenty-five bucks and a cracker" if she's thrown out of the house. The lyrics hint that her previous relationships have caused her pain, too -- the line about her "scream [getting] lost in a paper cup" makes me think, possibly, that she was sexually abused after having something put in her drink at a party (or else someone took advantage of her while she was inebriated). She also carries insecurities into her current relationship. She dismisses another girl her boyfriend knows who "thinks really deep thoughts," implying that she doesn't think she herself is intelligent, and notes that when she wears his jeans, they still have his previous girlfriend's name written on them (having your significant other sign your jeans/sneakers with a Sharpie was a cool thing to do in the 90s; dunno if anyone's still doing it now). Still, I think the story has a happy ending when she's confronted by her boyfriend's judgmental mother (in her "nasty dress"), and he "takes hold of [her] hand." She acknowledges the judgment, says "yeah, I can hear them," and doesn't care anymore, because she's finally found someone who accepts her unconditionally.
But beyond the specifics of the story, I think this song speaks to so many people -- even if they've never been condemned for having premarital sex; even if they're not even women -- because it's about subtle ways in which even our most intimate relationships oppress and hurt us. The fact that in the end, she DOESN'T say something along the lines of "screw all the haterz/I don't need ANYONE but me/whateva, whateva, I do what I want," but rather that she wants to find someone who will love her for who she truly is, makes it so much more realistic and powerful for me. We can't live without relationships, and the answer is never as easy as just cutting it out of our lives and pretending it doesn't exist. Living with the pain long enough to work through it it is what takes real strength, and this song embodies it beautifully.