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impatient the masochist's blood runs in my veins I wait for you, the sadist
if I can do it with a poisonous kiss
because of sorrow I cannot see virtue you are the last mother
the memory buried so that you won't realise the first mother
even though the clock turns backwards the sin I've committed can't be changed
the first and last person who understood me is burned into my memory
see me resisting strongly and then kindly forcing a decision
I can never tell you
the creaking sound of leather hurts me let's make the wound even deeper
you, deeply jealous are you always so cold-hearted?
even now I don't want to forget the abuse of my childhood
why don't I have a mother? tell me...
someday I'll realise kindness inside the mother-like "cradle"...
because of anguish I cannot see before me my last mother
at least, so that you won't realise the first mother
even though the clock turns backwards the sin I've committed can't be changed
the first and last person who understood me is destroyed
were you too kind to me? the reflection of a trauma from long ago
I destroyed you, the last one am I a sadist?
if I can do it with a poisonous kiss
because of sorrow I cannot see virtue you are the last mother
the memory buried so that you won't realise the first mother
even though the clock turns backwards the sin I've committed can't be changed
the first and last person who understood me is burned into my memory
see me resisting strongly and then kindly forcing a decision
I can never tell you
the creaking sound of leather hurts me let's make the wound even deeper
you, deeply jealous are you always so cold-hearted?
even now I don't want to forget the abuse of my childhood
why don't I have a mother? tell me...
someday I'll realise kindness inside the mother-like "cradle"...
because of anguish I cannot see before me my last mother
at least, so that you won't realise the first mother
even though the clock turns backwards the sin I've committed can't be changed
the first and last person who understood me is destroyed
were you too kind to me? the reflection of a trauma from long ago
I destroyed you, the last one am I a sadist?
Lyrics submitted by Shinigami
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The amazing part of these lyrics is the identification and acknowledgment of the "mother" role being double-sided.
For Kyo to realize in his own grief that the mother role can be conflicting is profound.
Throughout the song he speaks of two mothers indicating one is less cruel. This is implied due to the latter of anything so hurtful can only be less hurtful.
He proclaims that he destroyed one of the roles (often in this type of psychological upset the nurturer role) and then questions himself.
I really believe in diving hardheartedly into your own personal flaws and this is a great example of someone doing exactly that.
A "mother" is not the only variable in your personal psyche ... so removing that variable and examining what remains is vital to understand how to grow.
To claim that this song is about abortion because of the video and the lyrics is not surprising.
In essence an abortion did take place. The video even further enhances how deep you have to dig into yourself to address trauma.
These song lyrics have always pulled at my heart and I respect the honesty! Amazing.
Sad song but I love it and can sympathize.
Prob. in my top 3 Diru songs.
the vid in question is : youtube.com/…
and the comment you copy/pasted is on page 2, username GaaraGirl13ness, posted 3 monthes ago at the time of me posting this comment, and i do not appreciate you taking what i took the time to type and presenting it here as your own words