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I have never felt such frustration
Or lack of self control
I want you to kill me
And dig me under, I want to live no more
[Chorus: ]
One who doesn't care, is one who shouldn't be
I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me
For me
I want to taste dirty, a stinging pistol
In my mouth, on my tongue
I want you to scrape me from the walls
And go crazy like you've made me
[Chorus: Repeat 2x]
You, you are so special
You have the talent to make me feel like dirt
And you, you use your talent to dig me under
And cover me with dirt
[Chorus: Repeat 2X]
Or lack of self control
I want you to kill me
And dig me under, I want to live no more
[Chorus: ]
One who doesn't care, is one who shouldn't be
I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me
For me
I want to taste dirty, a stinging pistol
In my mouth, on my tongue
I want you to scrape me from the walls
And go crazy like you've made me
[Chorus: Repeat 2x]
You, you are so special
You have the talent to make me feel like dirt
And you, you use your talent to dig me under
And cover me with dirt
[Chorus: Repeat 2X]
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"I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me; You, you are so special; You have the talent to make me feel like dirt; And you, you use your talent to dig me under; And cover me with dirt." He's tried to hide from his addiction to the drug but it overpowers him and pulls him back down to his state of helplessness. Incredibly powerful lyrics. The rest of the song is pretty self explanatory.
Whoever says it's simple minded/stupid to "assume" that so many AIC songs are about drugs/addiction might be partially right but guess what: tons of them (and a lot of the best ones) are about that. End of story. Addiction can be the most overpowering experience a person can ever have, and can enslave even the strongest of people. There's a hell of a lot of emotion and angst that comes with it and it makes too much sense for a lot of their music be about it. Lyrics aren't always meant to be literal. Don't be simple minded.
Epic song by the way.
its a similar technique that kurt cobain used in rape me.
a challenge for the person to do it again. dare to do it again.
This time ironically says. i lack self control.
He is in a way taunting the gf probally, who has "talent" and uses it to cover him with dirt. a charmer, a backstabber,like go ahead bury me alive again. kill me. do it. now. i dare you.
When hes says i want pistol in mouth, its like look at the point your brought me too. huh! that got you worried 'eh. Im not stupid enough to stain my hands with my own blood, for a murder you should commit, a slow death you have allready caused/causing.
the lines about one who doesnt care shouldnt be. another taunt like. in conversation mode.
I dont care for you anymore? Do I deserve to be? in your eyes
Why dont you just kill me!
..
All throughout his turmoil, he retained his mental stability, although at times I am sure even he would admit to being 'out of it', but to only see "drugs" in his words dishonors the human being within. He was misunderstood in life and it seems inevitably that remains the case in death as well.
A lot of the lyrics to this and other AIC songs sound like the writer suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder, IMHO.
It's a very painful condition where you simultaneously crave an impossible amount of love & acceptance as an adult that you never got as a child and that no one can now give you (except yourself) and are repulsed by the craving. And you feel worthless deep down because you never received the proper validation as a child.
Any small sign of rejection from someone you care about opens up a pandora's box of pain and you use hate as a shield against the pain. Or you may disconnect from all emotions to protect yourself ("One who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be/I tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me.")
Eventually you may turn to drugs to numb it all (think of the song Hate to Feel) because even death seems preferable to the exhausting emotional roller coaster that seems endless and inescapable.
The thing that smacks the most of BPD is the fantasy he's having to kill himself just to show someone else how much they've hurt him. And the idea of death being preferable to the frustration & lack of control over oneself & one's emotions.
Just my opinion!
'You have the talent, to dig me under,and cover me with dirt'
and the solemn resignation that all he can do now is to wish them (again the former 'friend') to 'go crazy, like you've made me'.
NOT AT ALL ABOUT DRUGS OR WANTING DEATH. It is asking for a reason to HOPE.
Dam That River and Rain When I die are about a fight with this girl, then Vietnam (Rooster) and this lack of caring about death anymore (Them Bones). Then the beginning of heroin (Junkhead) and the journey into that. This song is just another chapter of the pain that heroin causes.
I dunno, just a though.