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too much nothing i'm always excusing myself but now it's getting hard to tell the reason why i even care increasingly i'm unaware instead of bettering myself i'm crawling deeper in my shell too much the whole point that i am alive seems to escape me at this time time i think too much nothing too much i've never known how to behave i think too much i've never strayed far from the grave nothing too much i need to get up off the ground nothing too much to force myself to make a sound
Lyrics submitted by hell_i_call_my_head
Track duration: 03:10
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In short: there's too much nothingness; empty life or at least you feel like your life is empty. This sense of emptiness could be a result of apathy and indifference, which may be linked to depression.
'i'm always excusing myself, but now it's getting hard to tell the reason why i even care, increasingly i'm unaware' is about perfectionism and procrastination, imho.
'instead of bettering myself i'm crawling deeper in my shell', he considers that constant self-improvement is something normal, but now he just can't do it, most likely due to fear of failure. So, he just doesn't do anything and crawls deeper in his shell. He is crawling deeper, hiding from who knows what.
'the whole point that i am alive seems to escape me at this time time', since progress in life has been rendered absolute and it has been replaced with stagnation and aimless wandering in his thoughts, he can't find a reason to live.
'i've never strayed far from the grave nothing too much i need to get up off the ground nothing too much to force myself to make a sound', he's been always near the grave, never lived life fully and always thinking about how mundane and purposeless life is, so he was 'half dead'. Then he ends with the usual conclusion: that he has to do something to get out of this state. Obviously he does not feel like living, since he is just too apathetic, so he KNOWS that he HAS TO get out of this state of stagnation, which is only possible by forcing himself to make a change.
I wonder, is it ok if we are 100% subjective with song meanings? Cause this song describes perfectly what I was going through/am still going through.
Anyway, a few points are merely personal views and I am fully aware that they lack objectivity. However, the main idea of the consciousness of one's apathetic stagnation and procrastination that keeps the person in the position to constantly question or just wonder why he even cares (or is alive), hand in hand with the recognition of the fact that one keeps looking for excuses for not doing anything, finally leading to the conclusion that this can't go on forever and one must force one's self in order to get out of this vicious cycle still stands.
sounds like manson