I'm gnawing on the knowledge

That I have been burnt

And I'm learning things that I

Should've already learnt

Everyone I ever knew

Was so kind and coy

I was with a girl

But it felt like I was with a boy

I can't even remember

If we were lovers

Or if I just wanted to

But I held her in my arms

I held her in my arms

I held her in my arms

But it wasn't you

I will not kill

The one thing that I love

In this world of wreckage

I look above

Help me Lord

Help me understand

What it means to be a boy

What it means to be a man



Lyrics submitted by Chiisushi

Track duration: 02:52

"I Held Her in My Arms" as written by Gordon Gano

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Lyrics powered by LyricFind


I Held Her In My Arms song meanings
Add your thoughts

15 Comments

sort form View by:
  • +1
    General Comment:While I am tempted to say that this song has a homosexual connotation, I think it's actually about a guy who is trying to convince his girlfriend that he didn't cheat on her.

    "I'm gnawing on the knowledge that I have been burnt/ And I'm learning things that I should have already learned" He realizes that his girlfriend is pissed and might break up with him.
    "Everyone I ever knew was so kind and coy" The girl was coming onto him, but he was innocent.
    "I was with a girl, but I felt like I was with a boy" His feelings for her were platonic.
    And he held her in his arms, trying to be friendly and comforting, but he didn't actually sleep with her because "It wasn't you" you being his girlfriend.
    "I would never kill the one thing that I love (etc.)" He doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend, even though he did cheat on her. He invokes God and his own naivete, trying to win his girlfriend over.

    That's my theory, not saying it's right or you're wrong.
    Flag ShadowPotBrownieon July 30, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I like the replace theory and the gay theory but...

    To me the story goes like this (I am probably reading way too much into this but) he meets this coolie girl that's way different and he really connects with (the I was with a girl/boy part)and she takes his virginity or something and then leaves him. Then he tries to replace her with a second girl to try to relive it but it doesn't work.

    Flag bookferrieon July 20, 2009   Link
  • -1
    General Comment:I always felt that the narrator of the song was gay but didn't want to be because of societal pressures. He's spent a significant portion of his life trying to be straight (by holding her in his arms). He's now realized how much time he has wasted (he's been burned by only now learning things he should've already known).

    The "help me Lord" to "understand what it means to a boy/man" fit this too. It is like he’s asking God to explain why he doesn’t like girls.

    Regardless of whether the “you” in “it wasn’t you” is a guy or a girl, I think androgybunny is right that it “transitional teenage feelings”. And with a nick like that, I’m thinking that you can understand what he’s singing about ;-)
    Flag clovuson November 06, 2008   Link
  • +2
    General Comment:To me, the song is about being in love with this one girl and trying to get over her by getting close to another girl physically, but knowing that it is completely meaningless. he compares the girl he held to the girl he's obsessed with but there's no comparison. he can't even remember if they had sex, probably he physically wanted sex but emotionally was distracted. i agree with palooka about the girl-boy-submission thing. the song's basically about being in love with someone and trying to get over them but knowing that everyone else just fades into the background in comparison to them.
    Flag wilde_femmeon July 03, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Palooka and YourEuphoria..i've just been that girl.
    and now i cant stop listenging to this song.
    Flag AladdinInsaneon February 27, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:To me, the song means something like what 'palooka' said.


    This song speaks to me like that because I was that girl in a relationship. In most relationships I've been in.

    My ex was more sentimental, emotional, affectionate than I was. I feel bad now, but I have no regrets.

    This song brings out a bit of that sadness in me, but it was a good run. I enjoyed it. And I like where I am now, so once again, no regrets.
    Flag YourEuphoriaon November 08, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I pretty much agree that it's when you're trying to replace someone you're not quite over yet. I like when he says it "felt like [he] was with a boy." To me, that means he felt like he was submissive to her, that she had all the control.
    Flag palookaon July 05, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I think this song is sung by a girl who really loved someone, then she broke up with him, and now he tries to replace her, but nothing compares to the first girl...
    Flag tacogirlon March 20, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Comment:Like a lot of Violent Femmes songs, it conjures up the transitional teenage feelings. It's a very deceptively simple song.
    Flag androgybunnyon March 17, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Like a lot of Violent Femmes songs, it conjures up the transitional teenage feelings.
    Flag androgybunnyon March 17, 2006   Link

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

Back to top
explain