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I'm gnawing on the knowledge
That I have been burnt
And I'm learning things that I
Should've already learnt
Everyone I ever knew
Was so kind and coy
I was with a girl
But it felt like I was with a boy
I can't even remember
If we were lovers
Or if I just wanted to
But I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
But it wasn't you
I will not kill
The one thing that I love
In this world of wreckage
I look above
Help me Lord
Help me understand
What it means to be a boy
What it means to be a man
That I have been burnt
And I'm learning things that I
Should've already learnt
Everyone I ever knew
Was so kind and coy
I was with a girl
But it felt like I was with a boy
I can't even remember
If we were lovers
Or if I just wanted to
But I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
But it wasn't you
I will not kill
The one thing that I love
In this world of wreckage
I look above
Help me Lord
Help me understand
What it means to be a boy
What it means to be a man
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"I'm gnawing on the knowledge that I have been burnt/ And I'm learning things that I should have already learned" He realizes that his girlfriend is pissed and might break up with him.
"Everyone I ever knew was so kind and coy" The girl was coming onto him, but he was innocent.
"I was with a girl, but I felt like I was with a boy" His feelings for her were platonic.
And he held her in his arms, trying to be friendly and comforting, but he didn't actually sleep with her because "It wasn't you" you being his girlfriend.
"I would never kill the one thing that I love (etc.)" He doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend, even though he did cheat on her. He invokes God and his own naivete, trying to win his girlfriend over.
That's my theory, not saying it's right or you're wrong.
To me the story goes like this (I am probably reading way too much into this but) he meets this coolie girl that's way different and he really connects with (the I was with a girl/boy part)and she takes his virginity or something and then leaves him. Then he tries to replace her with a second girl to try to relive it but it doesn't work.
The "help me Lord" to "understand what it means to a boy/man" fit this too. It is like he’s asking God to explain why he doesn’t like girls.
Regardless of whether the “you” in “it wasn’t you” is a guy or a girl, I think androgybunny is right that it “transitional teenage feelings”. And with a nick like that, I’m thinking that you can understand what he’s singing about ;-)
and now i cant stop listenging to this song.
This song speaks to me like that because I was that girl in a relationship. In most relationships I've been in.
My ex was more sentimental, emotional, affectionate than I was. I feel bad now, but I have no regrets.
This song brings out a bit of that sadness in me, but it was a good run. I enjoyed it. And I like where I am now, so once again, no regrets.