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Points| Paramore – Ignorance Lyrics | 1 year ago |
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This is a bit deep & it's totally my own personal interpretation and what it means to me: If I'm a bad person, you don't like me Well I guess I'll make my own way It's a circle A mean cycle I can't excite you anymore - My Dad used to call me stupid, bad, worthless, that he didn't like me when I was a bitch. I've now finally got the courage to tell him that I don't need him. He has always *needed* me, and used me as an emotional and physical punchbag. It is a circle, because I have suffered with depression and anxiety since the age of 13. And it's a mean cycle because I couldn't get out of it, in fact I tried to commit suicide at the age of 18 because I couldn't see any other way out. "I can't excite you anymore" - that's like me saying, I'm your daughter, not your girlfriend or your friend, I can't solve your problems, I can't be the person who want me to be and cannot cope with you smothering me. Where's your gavel? Your jury? What's my offense this time? You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me Well sentence me to another life - This is about me trying to stand up for myself, my mum, my step mums, and trying to fight back against him. But it was always my problem, I was always a little bitch, or stupid, or aggressive, or horrible. Of course it was self defence, self preservation, trying to fight against something that I knew was f-ed up. "You're not a judge" - he cannot see anything from anyone else's perspective but his - everything is someone else's fault - even after the police had been called out multiple times because of his behaviour it was still my mum's fault, or because he was stressed, or because I was being difficult, or because he had an unhappy childhood. Don't wanna hear your sad songs I don't wanna feel your pain - So I interpret this for myself in relation to me being a kid and having to listen to my Dad cry and bitch about how horrible my Mum and his GFs were at the time. I have spent the last 27 years of my life listening to why this man is so broken and stressed and how he explains his aggression and abuse. Fed up of it. When you swear it's all my fault Cause you know we're not the same (no) We're not the same (no) Oh we're not the same - Denial - I don't think I have ever ever heard him admit that he had a part to play in why things went so wrong in my mum's life, my life, and his ex GFs. It's all explained by him in that we are weak, damaged, women. Yeah the friends who stuck together We wrote our names in blood But I guess you can't accept that the change is good (hey) It's good (hey) It's good - We were very close when I was a kid, like best friends, but he didn't want to let go of that, he tried to control me as I grew up. Hitting me for telling one little lie, which I said to protect myself. Forcing me to the ground and screaming in my face. He can't accept that I've grown up, I'm not his little girl any more, he doesn't get to feel like he rescued me from a dangerous mother any more. Well you treat me just like another stranger Well it's nice to meet you sir I guess I'll go I best be on my way out You treat me just like another stranger Well it's nice to meet you sir I guess I'll go I best be on my way out - This is about going back to see him when I was older, after he had 3 complaints made against him at work for his aggressive behaviour. And I tried to say in the nicest way possible that perhaps he had been aggressive without meaning to. Complete denial. So he pretends that I don't remember how he is when he's angry, he treats me like I made up the past and what he did. I best me on my way out - I've just changed my name, I am trying to concentrate on myself and my life, and support my mum after years of mental health problems and abuse from my Dad. This is the best thing that could've happened Any longer and I wouldn't have made it It's not a war no, it's not a rapture I'm just a person but you can't take it The same tricks that, that once fooled me They won't get you anywhere I'm not the same kid from your memory Well now I can fend for myself - Pretty self explanatory in this context - the tricks that once fooled me are all the things he used to tell me about my mum, and ex step mum, and why they were bad and wrong, and why he was right and just. Now I can fend for myself - well I have been since the age of 18, although he has helped me out with money for certain things. But that has always felt like it has a condition atached to it. Now I am determined to prove myself to myself, to be sucessful and happy and not let him grind me down any more. Ignorance is your new best friend Ignorance is your new best friend - If I wasn't too scared to see him I would scream this to him - he's just blind to everything - worse of all to himself and his own behaviour. |
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